Photo: TikTok
The mom is definitely carrying the emotional and literal load of parenting.
By Alexandra Blogier — Written on Apr 23, 2023
Footage posted to TikTok of a dad standing around on his phone as his wife unloads bags from the car while holding a baby has many moms recognizing their own family situations.
In the video, the mom hurries to unpack the car with a baby in her arms. The dad stands by the car, looking at his phone. The mom has a bag on each shoulder while also cradling her baby. She then accidentally trips over her older child, at which point the dad is forced into action.
People exclaimed that she was a married-single mom despite her husband standing next to her.
As the mom loses her balance and falls, her husband pauses for a moment before checking on their daughter, his phone still in his hand.
The majority of the 24,000 comments called into question the dad’s response, as well as the fact that he wasn’t offering his wife any help in unloading the car or watching their children.
“Looks like a married single mom to me,” came one comment. “Single mother of three,” commented another follower.
“Love the fact that he was there to do NOTHING,” said someone else.
Another person noticed, “That phone never left his hand,” then asked, “Sir, why is she doing everything,” followed by multiple red flag emojis.
“If only there was another adult in the clip who could have helped that mom out,” noted a different follower.
The phenomenon of ‘married-single motherhood’ is nothing new, as many moms feel that they do the majority of household and parenting labor despite having a partner.
In 2011, TheBump.com and ForbesWoman.com completed a “Co-parenting” survey in which they polled over 1,200 working and stay-at-home moms about parenting habits and their dynamics with their partners.
The survey results found that many moms carry the majority of the burden when it comes to both raising kids and caring for their household. According to the survey, 24% of working and 28% of stay-at-home moms reported that sometimes they feel like a “married single mom," meaning that although they are partnered, they feel as if they do the majority of parenting labor as if they were single parents.
Almost one-third of all moms surveyed said they feel their partner could be more helpful or supportive. 70% of working moms and 68% of stay-at-home moms reported feelings of resentment towards their partners due to the imbalance of labor completed in the home.
The survey also noted that 92% of working moms and 89% of stay-at-home moms felt overwhelmed by the multitude of responsibilities they carried.
While an absolute even division of labor isn’t necessarily possible in families, ideally, parenting couples can reach some sort of equitable balance in parenting and household tasks.
Many moms feel that they hold the burden of being the preferred parent, while also carrying the mental and emotional load that comes with raising small humans into adults. It’s important that moms feel able to express the complexity of their emotional range and recognize that they can love their children but not love the rigidity of the roles they hold as parents.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers celebrity gossip, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.