Photo: TikTok
What happened to female solidarity?
By Alexandra Blogier — Written on May 02, 2023
A woman at the gym got called out for her appearance while working out. Kylen Suttner was lifting weights when another woman berated her for what she chose to wear.
“Do you really think you can walk around the gym wearing that?” An unidentified woman asked Suttner from behind the camera. Suttner, looking confused, put the weights down and responded, “What?”
Suttner captured the stranger's body-shaming rant on camera, then posted it to TikTok.
“Your top,” clarified the stranger. “Do you really think you can walk around the gym wearing that? Your boobs are hanging out. We’re in a public place, can you be respectful?”
“Are you kidding me?” asked Suttner, to which the woman doubled down, “No, we’re in a public place, do you not see everyone around you?”
The woman continued to body-shame Sutton, reiterating, “no one wants to see your boobs hanging out.” Suttner sets a firm boundary, telling the stranger, “I am fine, thank you.”
“Well, I don’t think you are,” the woman replied. “Whatever, put a shirt on next time.”
In the caption to her post, Suttner joked, 'Guess it’s time to build a home gym.'
She included the hashtag #gymkaren, calling out the woman who body-shamed her. It should go without saying that it’s no one else’s business what people choose to put on their bodies, or how they decide to present to the world. Suttner was called out for wearing a sports bra at the gym, where one can expect to see people wearing sports bras. For someone to police someone else’s appearance says more about their own societal expectations than anything else.
However, it’s still vaguely surprising to hear a woman calling out another woman for how she looks. Internalized misogyny is something we can only begin to break down once we recognize it in ourselves. Suttner stands up for herself, telling the woman, “Bye,” after being berated for what she’s wearing. It seems the issue has more to do with the woman’s own attitude toward someone else’s body.
An article in Psychology Today states that “internalized sexism is a form of social and psychological brainwashing.” The article claims that with internalized sexism, it’s not uncommon for women to attack other women, which works to “marginalize their selfhood and power.”
Sexism and misogyny are so ingrained into how US society functions, often women aren’t even aware that they’re perpetuating the cycle. The article notes that body shaming is a form of internalized misogyny, defining it as "regularly making disparaging remarks about other women’s and girls’ body and physical appearance."
Dress coding is one way of controlling women’s bodies, and it leads to situations like the one Suttner experienced, in which people police others for their appearance.
Suttner's experience shows that dress coding and misogyny go hand-in-hand. In a country where the government is trying to legislate people's bodies, where students aren't allowed into prom because of how they're dressed, breaking the chains of internalized misogyny is a powerful first step to creating societal change.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers celebrity gossip, pop culture analysis, and all things to do with the entertainment industry.