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Woman Defends Her Affair Because Their Love Is 'Real' & Says Wanting To Cheat Is A 'Good Enough Reason' To Do So

Photo: TikTok
TikToker defends her affair

Affairs are typically a touchy subject. No matter what you do, somebody is bound to get hurt in situations like these.

However, one woman is fighting back against the haters and defending her affair by saying their love is "real."

Chelsea runs a TikTok and several other social media accounts title "@theoandthewife" — or The Other Woman & The Wife, as she titles her Facebook page.

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Her social media is largely dedicated to challenging how viewers think about affairs.

In an introduction for her followers, Chelsea calls herself an "affair apologist" and says that she created her account to "foster a conversation that helps humanize the people who do human things like cheat."

"I do not believe that there are any good excuses or reasons to cheat — other than the reason 'I wanted to,'" Chelsea controversially states.

"'I wanted to' is a damn good enough reason to do just about anything."



RELATED: The Type Of Cheating People Don't Talk About (But Can End Your Marriage)

She explains that she had an affair over 10 years ago and has since married her affair partner with whom she now shares three children.

However, viewers on the app have been divided over how they view Chelsea's relationship — more specifically, how they view the beginning of her relationship.

The account under the username "@theowandthewife," which is run mainly by the wife, details their affair story. 

According to the wife, the two met ten years ago at work and quickly fell in love — all while both being married.

Under another TikTok in which Chelsea defends her and her husband’s actions by saying their love is "real" regardless of how the relationship started, users bashed her stance.

“You’re not capable of love when you’re actively committing that level of betrayal against someone who loves and trusts you,” one user commented.

“How you get them is how you lose them,” another user said. 

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Relationship experts also share these critical users' stances.

In 2021, Mitzi Bockmann, an NYC-based, certified life and love coach told YourTango that one of the leading reasons not to have an affair is because your affair partner is most likely not your soulmate.

"You're sure that you've finally found your soulmate and that you are totally justified in having this affair. But this, I'm afraid, is just an illusion," she wrote. What you're feeling right now is that initial excitement that everyone feels at the beginning of any relationship."

"With people who are having an affair, that transition never happens because there's no committed relationship, just two people who are meeting clandestinely, having a relationship outside of marriage."

And according to David and Cindy Taylor, the co-authors of "Affaircare: Caring for Your Marriage After an Affair," less than ten percent of unfaithful spouses "actually marry the affair partner." 

According to the Taylors, about seventy-five percent of these marriages end in divorce. 

Many pointed out that children can be hurt in the situation as well — to which Chelsea has an answer as well.

Some even shared their own experiences as children who found out about their parent’s infidelity.

“I couldn’t eat for a month after I found out about my parents' affair and I’m still dealing with the trauma three years later — let’s not,” one user wrote.

But according to Chelsea, it’s not the affair that hurts the children but rather the behavior of the adults involved.

She argues that the children were most likely “hurting before the affair.”

RELATED: Mom Criticized By In-Laws After She Refuses To Introduce Her Son To Baby Her Husband Fathered During An Affair



“You don’t think those children were hurting prior to the inception of an affair?” Chelsea asks.

Chelsea argues that affairs are nuanced and not black and white.

We can likely all agree that affairs exist in a moral grey area but Chelsea's account does give voice to a side often not heard in the shame and guilt that surrounds infidelity.

In another TikTok, Chelsea says that she doesn't care to discuss whether affairs are right or wrong.

"In my situation, it was definitely wrong," she acknowledges but says that is not the case for everyone.

"I have been greeted with too many women who are stuck in very, very dangerous situations to say that cheating is definitely wrong or definitely right."

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Instead, Chelsea says she's much more interested in unpacking why affairs happen.

And in her defense, some viewers clearly are too. Several of her videos have comments from people who agree with Chelsea or, at the very least, are open to hearing her thoughts.

"People 'cheating' is proof that we need to change the relationship paradigm. Our idea of them now is NOT working," writes one user.

"I'm polyamorous so although it isn't ethical, I can understand the desire/ability to have multiple relationships," relates another user.

And for others, the idea that Chelsea could help someone struggling with guilt or shame over their affair justifies her videos.

"You don't know who you are connecting with while sharing your experience - you never know who you may be helping," says another commenter.

RELATED: The 3 Types Of Couples Who Experience Affairs (& The Ones Most Likely To Stay Together)

Victoria Soliz is a writer with YourTango who covers news and entertainment content. Her work explores pop culture trends, film and TV, and celebrity news