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Woman Debates Telling Her Friend Who Is Trying For A Baby Her Boyfriend's 'Secret' About Not Being Able To Have Kids

Photo: Roberto Hund / Pexels
Two women, friends

One woman recently wrote to an Slate's Dear Prudence advice column to share that she is privy to a shocking secret: she knows that her friend’s boyfriend got a vasectomy years ago.

Her friend is now looking to have a child, and the woman is wondering if she should let her friend in on the secret.

She explains that the boyfriend in question is a hardworking, studious person, who spent the first decades of his life pouring everything he had into his education and career, and nothing into relationships.

“Between all the work and many years of college, he didn’t find any female companionship, and didn’t really have time for courtship,” she writes.

His parents, who are now deceased, left him a decent amount of money, and between that, his frugal lifestyle, and some choice investments, he has saved up some serious cash.

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He’s now in his fifties, and has finally found a girl the writer calls 'Miss Right.'

The writer describes this woman as “from the wrong side of town, in her early twenties, and drop-dead gorgeous.”

The woman’s family was initially unsupportive of their relationship but has apparently grown fonder as she learned how wealthy and willing to spoil their daughter he was.

He even went so far as to pay for her college, since education is very important to him and his life.

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However, once the pandemic hit, her interest in college changed.

She was forced to stop taking classes due to the pandemic and with her new free time put most of her energy into keeping in shape, hanging out with friends, and generally enjoying his money.

Shortly put, even now that restrictions have lifted, she has no interest in returning to school.

The writer explains that the girl has decided her ticket out of school is having a baby, and that she has begun trying very hard to get pregnant.

“There’s just one thing,” she writes. “I don’t think he can get her pregnant, and I don’t think he wants to tell her that.”

The writer’s suspicion seems to come from her own husband’s reaction to the situation.

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When she explains the girl’s plan to get pregnant to him, he apparently laughed and said “yeah, when she gets pregnant.” This has led her to believe that her friend’s boyfriend “got snipped” years ago, and just doesn’t want his new girlfriend to know.

The writer emphasizes that the girl is determined to get pregnant, with or without her boyfriend, so she can keep the cushy life she has gotten used to. The writer thinks this is a poor idea, though, claiming that if she gets pregnant and a DNA test reveals that the child isn’t her boyfriend’s, “he’ll drop her off back at her mom’s house in the ghetto and forget about her.”

She wraps her story up by saying the girl is wasting a great opportunity for free education by pursuing a child instead and asks how to tell this to her friend.

In one final line, she writes: “It seems we got the girl out of the ghetto, but we can’t get the ghetto out of the girl,” and signs off as “Ghetto Girl.”

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The advice columnist was absolutely shocked by this story.

The advice writer, dubbed “Prudence”, immediately accuses the woman of sticking her nose in business that isn’t her own, and suggests that she pick up watching reality shows instead of investing her time in the lives of her friends.

They point out that the advice seeker is likely “kind of jealous” of the girlfriend and her situation, as evidenced by her pointing out the other woman’s physique and charm multiple times.

Prudence then points out that, even if this girl did need advice, she most certainly would not be willing to accept it from someone who so heavily relies on racism and classism to make any of her points.

The woman’s obvious disdain for the girlfriend’s origin in a “wrong neighborhood” that she repeatedly calls the “ghetto” is bad enough, that’s her home and family this lady is talking about!

There are also plenty of reasons why someone might not want to return to college. The girl is still young, she has time to decide if she wants to go back to school or not, and she might genuinely have a passion for raising a child, rather than academia. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Her “knowledge” about the boyfriend’s secret is also entirely unsound. The assumption she has made has absolutely no basis in fact, and even if it is true, she has no business sharing it with anyone. That’s medical history, and incredibly personal to give out for any reason.

Prudence is right, she should stick to judging women on the TV, rather than trying to insert herself in the real life of a friend. 

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Hawthorn Martin is a news and entertainment writer living in Texas. They focus on social justice, pop culture, and human interest stories.