Woman Shares The 5 Things She Wishes She Had Asked Her Mom Before Her Passing —'You Need To Ask'

She is encouraging people who still have their mothers to do what she never had the chance to.

woman, mother @courtneylopezgeravis / TikTok / Instagram 

One difficult reality we may have to face as we get older is that our parents are also getting older. They may not be around for as long as you imagined them to be, and they may not see their children reach all of life’s significant milestones. 

One woman is breaking hearts across the Internet after revealing the five things she regretted not asking her mother before she unexpectedly passed away. She is now encouraging other people to do what she should have if their mothers are still around before it is too late. 


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The woman shared 5 things she wished she'd asked her mother before her passing. 

In a TikTok video that has been viewed nearly 400,000 times, Courtney Lopez Gervais, who is a mother herself, never expected that she would lose her own mother at the age of 50. As she is navigating through her new life, she has a message for her followers who still have their mothers, and is advising them to do five crucial tasks with them while they still have the time. 



1. Your children’s names in your mom’s handwriting. 


Courtney reveals that she wished she had asked her mother to handwrite her daughter’s name, Ezra Rose, on a piece of paper so that she could later have it tattooed on her body as a permanent reminder of what her mother’s handwriting looked like while dedicating it to another important person in her life. 

2. A letter from your mother to your children. 

Courtney stated that the letter should detail what your mother loves most about her grandchildren and what she hopes for them in the future so that they could read it themselves when she is no longer around and have something to remember her by.

“It’s okay if you ask again in five years (hopefully you have the time!) and she can write about what she loves most about them then, too,” Courtney wrote in the caption of her video. 


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3. Your mom’s favorite childhood memory. 

Courtney says that she never got the chance to learn about her mother’s favorite childhood memory, and she wishes she had asked her. “Ask your mom. You’ll want to remember this,” she encourages. 

4. Your mom’s favorite memory from your childhood. 

This might hold more meaning to you than you initially think it will, especially if you are a parent now yourself.

“I know she was proud of me, but I wish I knew which EXACT moments were her favorite,” Courtney writes of her late mother. “When her heart swelled with joy like mine does for my children.” 


5. What your mom wants to leave for her grandchildren and why it’s important to her.  

If your mother dies when your children are young, they may not always have clear memories of her. However, they can have little mementos that remind them of her. “Ezra Rose and Beau will have things of my mom’s and I can tell them stories, but I wish they were HER stories to go along with them,” Courtney admits. 

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TikTok users were inspired and heart-warmed by Courtney’s message. 

“Gut punch. For the lucky women who still have moms. …. DO THIS!!!!” one user commented. 


“This is so special,” another user wrote. 

Others could relate to Courtney’s regrets, having lost their own mothers. 

“I wish I could ask these things. Lost my mama back in 2019. I miss her all the time. We were supposed to grow to be little old ladies together,” one user shared. “I lost my mom unexpectedly last year at age 63.. I’m only 30. I so badly wish I could’ve seen something like this before,” another user wrote. 


As for those who could not relate to Courtney’s pain and still had their parents around, they claim that they have taken her story as an opportunity to love and appreciate their mothers while they still had the chance. 

Courtney shared that her idea to share her list with others was inspired by a dream that she had of herself doing these things while her mother was still here. “Please share this with a friend,” she urges in the caption of her video. “I don’t want one single person to miss out on documenting these things. I promise you, they’ll mean a lot one day.” 

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.