Photo: @5kids5catsandsomedogstoo / TikTok
Her husband claimed that he had more important priorities, leaving their house unrecognizable.
By Megan Quinn — Written on Apr 18, 2023
A working mom depicted the difficulties of keeping her house organized with young children and a partner who refuses to help by sharing video clips of her home and what happens to it when she is gone all day working.
After days of the never-ending messes being neglected, she took it upon herself to step in and organize the entire house herself.
The mom worked six 10-hour days in a row and left her husband in charge of the house.
Lynalice Bandy is a mother of five who works tirelessly both in and out of the household. During the summer while she was in the process of divorcing her husband, she left him in charge of the children and the household while she worked six days in a row for 10 hours. She only had one day off that she used as a sick day.
After only six days with Bandy out of the house, nearly every room was completely trashed, with piles of clothes, food, and toys littering the floors to the point where they were barely visible.
“I’d like to pretend I’m not the only one who cleans here but as you can see these rooms don't get much attention when I’m not here,” the mother wrote in the text overlay of the TikTok video that has been viewed over 7 million times.
The footage depicts Bandy re-organizing and tidying up room after room with little assistance from her children. Her soon-to-be ex-husband is nowhere in sight.
“Every single day I’ve gotten home from work I’ve been met with one disaster to another caused by inattentive parenting,” she shared.
The messes included shampoo, nail polish, hair, and nugget covers embedded into the carpets, medications that had gotten into and destroyed, and a bin of dog food that had been smashed. According to the mother, her husband was preoccupied with working on his cars in the garage and turned a blind eye to the rest of the household.
“His obsession has hit an all-time high and he’s even brought car parts into the dining room and left oil everywhere,” she says. Bandy admits that her “soul aches” since she is unable to feel safe and happy in her own home she is always left to clean up. At the end of the video, the mother shows off her fresh house, which looks like a completely different one than it did in the beginning.
Bandy’s video resonated all too well with other mothers who carried the household chores on their backs.
“I am so so SO proud of you. I don't know why this made me want to cry. I'm struggling with this right now too,” one TikTok user shared.
“Your drive and work ethic to get this all done alone is incredible. It’s so hard when the burden of maintaining the household is left to women alone,” another user commented.
Others recognized the struggles of having a partner who is unwilling to help.
“Being a single parent while married is the worst. I’m glad you’re changing that for yourself and the kids,” one user commented.
“There is nothing more soul-draining than a ‘partner’ who is actually an extra child,” another user pointed out.
“I would suggest setting up a bed in the garage for your husband and telling him to go sleep with his cars,” another wrote.
According to a study from The Guardian, women in heterosexual relationships do around 65% of the physical housework, including cooking, cleaning, childcare, and laundry. Many of them receive little help from their partners and feel pressure to “do it all.”
Thanks to dreadful stigmas about the "role" of women, men often assume that women should be in charge of looking after the household no matter what their circumstances are. However, in this day and age, men are more than capable of washing a few dishes and picking up after themselves.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.