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Stay-At-Home Dad Calls His Wife 'Crazy' And Refuses To Follow Her Demanding Cleaning Schedule For Their House

Photo: Natalia Lebedinskaia | Shutterstock
dad washing dishes at the sink while holding baby

"I had a major fight with my wife a few hours ago and I strongly think I’m in the right but she is so angry I almost feel like I’m the one crazy," a man started off a confessional posted to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA).

The subreddit is an online forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them.

In his Reddit post, he wrote that his wife, who he's been married to for three years, likes things in their home to be clean all the time.

"She hates dishes in the sink while I’m content to let them sit for a couple [of] days. She spends her off days scrubbing bathrooms because in her mind they should be cleaned weekly," he explained.

"She doesn’t let me bring my shoes inside and insists I shower immediately when I get home before laying in bed."

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He called his wife 'crazy' and refuses to follow her demanding cleaning schedule.

The couple has two children together, a 2-year-old and a 1-year-old, and since their youngest was born, he has been a stay-at-home dad.

While he is at home with the children, his wife expects him to pick up all the chores and make sure everything is in order while she works, which he finds unreasonable.

According to him, his wife expects him to bathe the children every day, while he argues they should only be bathed every couple of days, to make sure all the dishes are washed, the bedding around the house is put to wash, the floors are vacuumed and mopped, and all their children's toys are put away.

"Because I don’t play along with most of her demands she ends up being the one to do most of the housework when she gets home or [on] her rare off days," he continued.

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Instead of making sure all the chores are done since his wife works "40 to 80 hours a week," she ends up doing most of them herself.

When she returned home after work one day and noticed that not only were there still dishes that hadn't been washed and pans on the counter with food still on them, but that he also hadn't brought in the trash cans as she'd asked from two days ago, she became infuriated with him.

"She flew off the handle calling me lazy and a slob. She said she would like for me to return to work since in her eyes I’m doing a poor job and use the money to hire a weekly housekeeper and a nanny."

She added that he also isn't supposed to let their children stay in their pajamas all day without getting bathed.

In return, he called his wife "crazy" for getting herself worked up over things that he deems aren't that big of a deal and refused to hire a nanny, arguing that he won't leave his children in the company of someone he doesn't know.

Since their fight, his wife "packed her bags" and took their children with her to stay at her mother's house

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Most Reddit users who commented on the man's post agreed that he was in the wrong.

"You're a stay-at-home father all of the stuff you listed that she wants is normal things an adult does. Your standards are too low," one user wrote.

Another user added, "Right now, your wife is coming home to a place where she doesn't feel comfortable living."

"Regardless of how you feel about cleanliness, she isn't comfortable in her own home. That, in my opinion, supersedes your disagreement about cleanliness standards."

A third user chimed in, "Doing dishes daily, cleaning the bathrooms weekly and not wearing shoes in the house are perfectly normal standards."

"I usually think couples with differing standards need to find some reasonable compromise, but you lose points with me for not even trying and for painting your wife as someone whose standards are extreme."

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Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.