Photo: TikTok
She stood up for her son's fashion choices, despite what her own mother thought.
By Alexandra Blogier — Written on May 07, 2023
A mom made a TikTok post in which she supported her son’s gender expression and defied her own mother in the process. Bella Kim’s video begins with an innocuous scene — a pink dress, decorated with cartoon mermaids, lying on a bed.
“My son’s favorite outfit is a mermaid dress,” explained Kim.
Kim supports her son's fashion choices, but her own mother doesn’t agree that he should wear dresses.
“My mom told me it was immoral of me to allow my son to wear his dress in public and I should let him pick out a nice ‘masculine’ outfit,” Kim stated, still showing footage of the mermaid dress.
In an effort to appease her mother, Kim took her son shopping — only she let him decide what he wanted to wear.
“I let him pick out some outfits himself,” she explained, then showed many more dresses laid out on the bed. Kim captioned the post “when a dress multiplies.” She included the hashtags "#boyswearpink" and "#boysweardresses," modeling her nurturing and inclusive attitude towards her son’s style.
“This beautiful soul will always be celebrated,” Kim stated, showing footage of her son in his new dress, smiling proudly.
A majority of the comments were supportive of Kim’s decision to let her son wear what he wants.
“He is a child,” said one follower. “Let him express what he likes and who he is.” Someone else pointed out “Maybe he’ll always wants dresses, maybe he will want other styles later. Let him explore as he grows. It may help him to be open, honest, and caring.”
Lee responded directly to the comment, agreeing, “Yes! And no matter what, he’ll know he’s loved and celebrated for being him.” “He’s beautiful!” Commented another person. Lee replied, “He’s the best. It’s been so fun watching him discover dresses… and dresses with pockets.”
The Human Rights Campaign explains the differences between gender identity and gender expression. According to the HRC’s definition, gender identity is someone's “innermost concept of self as male, female, a blend of both or neither — how individuals perceive themselves and what they call themselves. One's gender identity can be the same or different from their sex assigned at birth.”
They define gender expression as the “external appearance of one's gender identity, usually expressed through behavior, clothing, body characteristics or voice, and which may or may not conform to socially defined behaviors and characteristics typically associated with being either masculine or feminine.”
As noted in an article by Dr. Jason Rafferty, “Gender development is a normal process for all children. Some children will exhibit variations — similar to all areas of human health and behavior. However, all children need support, love, and care from family, school, and society, which fosters growth into happy and healthy adults.”
Kim is clearly providing a safe, stable environment for her son to experiment with his gender expression. As she explained in another TikTok post, it’s important for children to have trusted adults in their lives who support their multifaceted identities.
She shared a story about her son’s teacher, stating, “I know we’re talking a lot about teachers right now, and I just wanted to share one quick little story. When my son picked out his very first dress, he was so excited to start wearing it and just show it to everyone he could think of.”
“The very first person that he wanted to show his brand new dress to was his teacher from the past year. And pretty much every time he picks out a brand new… wonderful dress, that’s who he wants to show. I think it says a lot.” Kim showed her gratitude for that teacher, captioning the video, “Thank you for giving my son a classroom where he could be himself.”
As legislation continues to pass in certain states that police and prohibit a person’s full expression of self, it’s important for kids to know that they can find a safe haven with certain teachers, parents, and other adults.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. As a former postpartum doula, she covers parenting issues, pop culture analysis, and all things to do with the entertainment industry.