Photo: TikTok
Moms do the work of many but are thanked by few.
By Nia Tipton — Written on Apr 30, 2023
A woman has sparked a conversation about the importance of mothers after sharing the after-effects of the death of one of her friends who was a mom.
In a TikTok video, Allison explained that she had lost her "best mom friend" in 2020, and while her unexpected passing had been a shock, her husband was left to try and fill her missing role in their family by hiring people to take up the work she did.
After Allison's 'best mom friend' passed away, her husband hired staff to replace her role in their family.
In Allions's video, she revealed that after the death of one of her really close "mom friends," things completely changed in her family as they grappled with the loss of her presence in their lives.
"My best mom friend died in 2020, which sucked," she admitted. "We had been pregnant together, had our babies together. She was like that friend. Something I keep thinking about is now that she's gone, the amount of people that have been hired to replace her."
Allison continued, saying that her friend had been a stay-at-home mother, who did most of the chores and primarily looked after the children she shared with her husband. Following her death, her husband hired a slew of workers to fill the gap her role left in their lives.
"Now that she's gone, her husband has hired a landscaping crew, a housekeeper, two babysitters, and enlists the help of neighbors and grandparents," Allison said. "Along with having a girlfriend who does all the emotional labor."
While before, her family was able to function due to her taking on all of the duties, Allison pointed out that now they have a village instead. "Mom life is just too much for one person," she captioned her video.
In the comments section, people shared their own stories of how their lives drastically changed after the deaths of their mothers, and how important a mother's role is in a family, which can never be replaced.
"When my mother died of cancer when I was a kid, everything she did got hired out or put to other people. Except for the love - that was just gone like her," one TikTok user shared.
Another user agreed that being a mother is an extremely laborious and challenging job that anyone could ever have. "I’m childfree but I am adamant that being a mom is the most important and challenging job that exists."
"I’m so very sorry for your loss. Moms are expected to juggle everything and never drop a ball. No matter what and it isn’t fair," a third user chimed in.
Becoming a single parent following the death of a spouse raises challenges for anyone.
While Allison's video sparked a discussion on a mother's role in both society and her family, becoming a single parent following the tragic death of a spouse is hard for both fathers and mothers alike.
Since the pandemic, according to the National Institutes of Health, more than 140,000 children under the age of 18 have lost a parent to COVID-19. While speaking with Parents, Evelyn White, Ph.D., a licensed professional clinical counselor, offered advice for single parents transitioning from being in a two-parent household.
"Transitioning from a loving, two-parent home to one where suddenly only one parent remains is frightening for children," Dr. White told the publication. "It is imperative to their sense of security to retain as much consistency as possible."
Becoming a single parent after the loss of a spouse is a challenging role to step into, especially when learning how to take on both the responsibility of being a mother and father to children who are grieving the loss of a parent.
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics.