Marriage Counselor Reveals The Number One Complaint She Hears From Women Unhappy In Their Marriage

It's pretty common!

Corrin Voeller, married couple embracing Vadym Pastukh | Shutterstock | TikTok

It's no secret that a marriage can be extremely hard work, which can be made even harder if you and your partner aren't always on the same page.

In a TikTok video, a marriage counselor revealed the number one complaint she gets from women who are unhappy in their marriages.

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Corrin Voeller explained that the division of household duties, or lack thereof, can sometimes lead to trouble in a marriage.

Voeller, who works as a marriage therapist, speaker, and online educator, according to her website, explained the difference between "active responsibility" and "passive responsibility."




"Active responsibility would be you looking around the house for things that you could do," Voeller shared. "And taking responsibility for the things that need to happen within the house."

As for passive responsibility, Voeller described it as being the complete opposite of active responsibility.


"Passive responsibility would be being available to help, but waiting for somebody to tell you what needs to be done." 

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Voeller then posed a question to married couples, asking them to distinguish between the two.

"When it comes to household chores and childcare, which one are you doing?" Voeller inquired. "Are you taking passive responsibility or active responsibility for the things that need to get done?"

Voeller pointed out that when it comes to marriage counseling and therapy, most of the women she sees complain that their husbands take on a more passive responsibility.


She revealed that most women admit that their husbands are often "waiting for them to tell them what needs to be done."

Voeller stressed that a majority of women in marriages don't want to have to tell their husbands what to do when it comes to household necessities and taking care of their children.

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In the comments section of Voeller's video, different women shared their own experiences with their husbands.

"My husband says “make a list” and he’ll do it.. like a chore list for a child. But not only that, he won’t do it even if I make a list & ask multiple," one user wrote.


Another user chimed in, writing that she is "active" while her husband is passive.

"My husband always needs to be told. It's hard when I [feel] like I don't have a partner. Then I have to praise him for doing a chore."

A third user added, "The amount of times I’ve tried explaining “I want him to want to do it” he just says, Who would wanna do chores? Men don’t think the way we do. Lol."


"Same here. One thing I tell wives though is not [to] criticize when husbands take initiative as they revert to passivity to avoid their perfectionism," a fourth user wrote.

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Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.