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Was she overreacting?
By Megan Quinn
Last updated on Mar 13, 2024
A woman reprimanded her children’s babysitter after she showered in her home while she was at work.
The babysitter claimed that she only hopped in the shower after one of the children spilled milk on her and the woman’s husband was at home to keep an eye on the children while she washed it off.
Now the woman is wondering if her reaction was appropriate.
The woman told her babysitter that it was "inappropriate" to take a shower while babysitting her children.
Sharing her story to Reddit, the woman wrote that she and her husband recently hired a babysitter for their two children, ages three and five, as the two both work long hours and needed extra help. According to the woman, the first two weeks with the babysitter went by without incident. However, they recently encountered their first disagreement.
“I came home at 6 pm and noticed the babysitter's wet hair and new clothes,” the woman wrote. “She told me she took a shower after one of the kids spilled milk on her.”
The woman shared that she was “confused” and “visibly upset” that her babysitter would shower on the job.
The babysitter claimed that the woman's husband was home at the time to watch the children.
Although the babysitter assured the woman that the children were fine since she claimed the woman’s husband kept an eye on them while she hopped in the shower “which only lasted for a few minutes,” she was "more confused that my husband was home when he had a shift to cover,” the woman wrote. “I told her [the babysitter] I didn't think it was appropriate of her to shower in my home like that.”
The babysitter told the woman that it was “fine” for her to take a quick shower since she “had no choice and couldn’t leave milk on her like that.”
The woman’s husband stepped in after hearing his wife and their babysitter arguing.
“He said it was not as big of a deal as I was making it out to be but I told the babysitter that I did not appreciate how she basically ignored how I felt about this and dismissed my feelings still,” she wrote.
She and the babysitter still argued on the phone after the babysitter went home for the evening. The woman even threatened to cut back her salary, which the babysitter told her was “unfair.”
“My husband keeps saying that I'm overreacting and the ‘poor girl’ couldn't handle having milk stains on her body and clothes,” the woman wrote. “But I couldn't help but feel it was inappropriate and she should've checked with me.”
The woman added that the babysitter claimed she was covered in milk for over six hours and needed to shower and that her husband was home because he “felt sick” and swapped shifts with a coworker. Still, the woman believes that she should have been notified about the babysitter showering.
Many people believed that the woman’s issue was actually with her husband and not the babysitter.
As reliable babysitters are often few and far between, many people noted that the woman should take the issue up with her husband instead of the babysitter. As one person wrote, “The issue is definitely not the shower. The issue is the husband potentially skipping work to hang around the babysitter.”
Other users criticized the woman for lacking empathy for the babysitter and for reacting unfairly to something as minor as a quick shower.
“I understand maybe being upset if she thought the nanny was the only adult in the house and left the kids unattended. But she wasn’t,” one person pointed out, while another added, “You’ll be lucky if she ever comes back, and if she does, count your lucky stars, apologize profusely and check in with yourself on why this made you so irrationally angry — my guess is, you don’t trust your husband."
While it's natural to worry about your kids being left unattended, as the woman's post seemed to reveal, her issue was more the fact that she was surprised that her husband had such an interaction with the babysitter.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.