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Mom Wonders If She's Wrong For Telling Babysitter It's 'Inappropriate' To Take A Shower While Minding Her Kids

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Babysitter, children

A woman reprimanded her children’s babysitter after she showered in her home while she was at work.

The babysitter claimed that she only hopped in the shower after one of the children spilled milk on her and the woman’s husband was at home to keep an eye on the children while she washed it off.

Now the woman is wondering if her reaction was appropriate.

The woman told her babysitter that it was "inappropriate" to take a shower while babysitting her children.

The woman shared her story on the subreddit thread, “r/AmItheA-–hole” (AITA), seeking the opinion of other users regarding the situation.

Users had the choice to give her a “You’re the A–-hole” (YTA) rating if they believed that she was wrong or a “Not the A--hole” (NTA) rating if they thought she was not.

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She began her post by sharing that she and her husband recently hired a babysitter for their two children, five years old and three years old.

The two both work long hours and needed extra help.

According to the woman, the first two weeks with the babysitter went by without incident.

However, they recently encountered their first disagreement.

“I came home at 6 pm and noticed the babysitter's wet hair and new clothes,” the woman wrote. “She told me she took a shower after one of the kids spilled milk on her.”

The woman shared that she was “confused” and “visibly upset” that her babysitter would shower on the job.

The babysitter claimed that the woman's husband was home at the time to watch the children.

Although the babysitter assured the woman that the children were fine since she claimed the woman’s husband kept an eye on them while she hopped in the shower “which only lasted for a few minutes.”

“I was more confused that my husband was home when he had a shift to cover,” the woman wrote. “I told her [the babysitter] I didn't think it was appropriate of her to shower in my home like that.”

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The babysitter told the woman that it was “fine” for her to take a quick shower since she “had no choice and couldn’t leave milk on her like that.”

The woman’s husband stepped in after hearing his wife and their babysitter arguing.

“He said it was not as big of a deal as I was making it out to be but I told the babysitter that I did not appreciate how she basically ignored how I felt about this and dismissed my feelings still,” she wrote.

She and the babysitter still argued on the phone after the babysitter went home for the evening.

The woman even threatened to cut back her salary, which the babysitter told her was “unfair.”

“My husband keeps saying that I'm overreacting and the ‘poor girl’ couldn't handle having milk stains on her body and clothes,” the woman wrote. “But I couldn't help but feel it was inappropriate and she should've checked with me.” 

The woman added that the babysitter claimed she was covered in milk for over six hours and needed to shower and that her husband was home because he “felt sick” and swapped shifts with a coworker.

Still, the woman believes that she should have been notified about the babysitter showering.

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Many Redditors believed that the woman’s issue was actually with her husband and not the babysitter.

“The issue is definitely not the shower. The issue is the husband potentially skipping work to hang around the babysitter,” one user suggested.

“This is the whole reason OP [original poster] is upset. But she's only willing to take it out on a presumably younger girl and NOT talk to her actual husband. Lame,” another user wrote.

Other users criticized the woman for lacking empathy for the babysitter and for reacting unfairly to something as minor as a quick shower.

“You’ll be lucky if she ever comes back, and if she does, count your lucky stars, apologize profusely and check in with yourself on why this made you so irrationally angry — my guess is, you don’t trust your husband. YTA,” one user commented.

“I understand maybe being upset if she thought the nanny was the only adult in the house and left the kids unattended. But she wasn’t,” another user pointed out.

“This is clearly paranoia about her marriage and she’s taking it out on this young woman. Grow up, OP [original poster].”

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.