‘You’re Not Mentally Ill Are You? Just A Turn Off’: Man Tells Date He Googled Pills He Found In Her Home
Some people have got absolutely no social awareness.
TikTok So, boundaries. They’re pretty important.
You know, boundaries, like avoiding politics at Thanksgiving with that one side of the family, or staying out of people’s personal space. Well, it may seem like a simple thing to some but, evidently, this is a concept that some people still struggle with.
TikToker @bitchcraft444 (AKA Chloe) posted a video that included a shocking text conversation with a guy the day after she went on a date with him.
The TikTok reveals that her date Googled pills he saw in her bathroom.
In the video, Chloe is seen to have sent a message, very simply asking how the guy’s evening was.
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To which the guy responds with a block of text in which he acknowledges that he is super invasive, saying, “... the other night was fun but I googled those tablets you left on your bathroom sink (super invasive of me I know) and it said they were anti psychotics...”
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So, based on what we’ve seen from Chloe, these two don’t seem to have been going out for very long, and this guy thinks that it’s cool for him to investigate the pills that Chloe had on her bathroom sink and google them. Or, maybe he doesn’t?
The guy seems to know that what he did was wrong.
By acknowledging that he knows that he was being “super invasive,” the guy seems to understand that looking at someone’s pills and then specifically looking them up is kind of a big breach of privacy.
And yet... he just excuses that behavior and asks a pretty delicate question in pretty much the worst way possible.
After admitting to googling Chloe’s pills, the guy asks if she’s “mentally ill.”
Specifically, the guy texted, “you’re not mentally ill, are you? Just a turn-off and I wouldn’t want to go any further if so.”
Now is when the inevitable ‘it’s just a preference’ comments come, so let’s get ahead of that. It’s ok to have preferences, it’s not ok to be an invasive jerk.
If someone asks questions in this sort of accusatory, judgmental way and gets ridiculed online for it, then they won’t be garnering much sympathy, especially after the blatant invasion of privacy.
This guy clearly seems to lack any sort of tact. Marriage and Couples Counselor Larry Michel weighed in on the situation, saying, “Although one may be inclined to agree about not going further if there is mental illness, there is a far more kind and inquiry-minded way to have the conversation… His response was judgmental before inquiry.”
"His response was judgmental before inquiry. In general, we see far too much of this kind of thinking these days," Michel continues.
"There is a great saying in the medical world, 'Prescription before diagnosis is grounds for malpractice.' If I am a man or a woman and the person I am dating makes a judgment without attempting to understand or learn about me first, that is the biggest red flag they could wave."
People should maybe just stay out of others' private lives until such a time as it affects them personally and, if it really is a problem, for the love of God find a better way to broach the subject than, "you're not mentally ill, are you?"
Dan O'Reilly is a writer who covers news, politics, and social justice. Follow him on Twitter.