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Man Wonders If He Is Wrong After Getting Mad At Girlfriend Who Dyed Her Hair 'Without Telling' Him

Photo: Bela Zamsha / Shutterstock
Red haired woman

It’s weird being 18 years old. On the one hand, you’re legally an adult and are told to act like one, but people sort of expect you not to.

You are supposed to have rounded the corner from child to adult, but no one is really going to treat you like one.

The truth is, that in the adulthood purgatory that is being 18 years old, we all do dumb things and still have a lot of growing left to do as was proven by one teen who took to Reddit for some rather immature advice.

The 18-year-old has taken issue with his girlfriend dying her hair “without telling” him.

An 18-year-old with the username u/Domestic_bear made a post to the subreddit r/AmItheA**hole in which he asked for his fellow Reddit users to give him some advice or validation.

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The original post has since been removed by the subreddit moderators, but the original poster (OP) wrote of the situation, “She is very well aware that I don’t like dyed hair. I think it looks bad compared to people's natural hair color and that it is usually just a way for people to get attention because they don’t get it elsewhere.”

He felt that he should have been included in the decision about dyeing her hair.

The OP insisted that his girlfriend’s decision to dye her hair was one that he should have had input on, or at least been made aware of ahead of time.

The OP writes, “She should at the very least tell me before she does something I might have a problem with. She should include me in these decisions out of respect and love. She should understand that I really don’t like dyed hair and that her actions can made me really upset.”

This is an… interesting… perspective. To be clear, what the OP is claiming here, is at least an element of ownership over his girlfriend’s hair.

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The OP feels that he is entitled to be included in the decision about dyeing her hair, an issue which he seems to have made his stance clear on in the past.

The boyfriend also concedes that he is "very judgmental" in his post.

It’s OK to have preferences. It’s not OK to try and control other people.

We all made some mistakes when we were 18 years old, and we all held some views and opinions that have changed over time.

The OP is in a time of growth and learning and one of the most important lessons to learn at that age is perspective.

What the OP needs to come to understand is that the world doesn’t revolve around him, he’s no better than anyone else and people, especially those he cares about.

If it’s something that really bothers him, then he should move on but it’s way over the line for the OP to try and enforce his will on his girlfriend.

As one commenter on the original post put it, “It's not your hair. You don't own her, nor can you control her actions regarding her own body. It's hair. ‘I’m very judgmental.’ That's a bad thing. Please work on this.”

Hopefully, the OP can recognize how he was wrong, grow, and learn from this situation and kudos to the girlfriend for sticking to her guns.

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Dan O'Reilly is a writer who covers news, politics, and social justice. Follow him on Twitter.

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