Photo: Sergii Sobolevskyi / Shutterstock.com
He was too "embarrassed" for her to be involved.
By Megan Quinn — Written on Sep 17, 2022
A woman wanted her daughter to bake and decorate the cake for her upcoming wedding, but her fiance disagrees, wanting a cake from a bakery.
Now the woman is asking if she is in the wrong.
The woman shared her story on Reddit's “r/AmItheA–-hole” (AITA), seeking the opinion of other users regarding the situation.
Users had the choice to give her a “You’re the A-–hole” (YTA) rating if they believed that she was wrong or a “Not the A--hole” (NTA) rating if they thought she was not.
The woman wants her daughter to bake her wedding cake, but her fiance is refusing.
The 36-year-old woman began her post by sharing that she has a 16-year-old daughter who loves to bake.
“It's her passion since she was three and I encourage her to follow it and discover more ways to become better at it,” the woman wrote.
She added that she even enrolled her daughter in baking academy classes to enhance her skills.
The woman continued, adding that she is engaged to her fiance, a 41-year-old man who she met two and a half years ago, and that their wedding day is approaching.
For their wedding, the woman wants her daughter to bake and decorate their cake.
She shared the idea with her daughter, to which she happily agreed and was “so excited” to perform the task.
However, the woman’s fiance was not on board.
“My fiance glanced at me when he heard about it then when we were alone he snapped and said 'I can't believe you're being serious about this,'" the woman wrote.
The woman argued that since their wedding is only going to be a small party consisting of close family and friends and not a formal event, it was appropriate for her daughter to bake the cake.
He disagreed with her, said that it was a "f–-king joke" and that he will not let "'a child' bake our wedding cake while there are tons of professional bakers out there who can make a much more decent looking/tasting one.”
The woman did not understand her fiance’s problem, considering he loved her daughter’s baking, to which he responded, "I do love what she bakes but let's just stick to the muffins and brownies.”
She criticized her fiance for being “unreasonable” and for insulting her daughter’s abilities and hurting her feelings.
Her fiance claims that he was worried about what their guests might say if the cake turned out to be a disaster.
She reminded him that she doubts anyone will say anything negative about the cake considering that they were all close family and friends, especially if they knew that the woman’s daughter made the cake.
She adds that the guest may think that it is “sweet.”
“He got mad and said that there was nothing sweet about getting embarrassed on his wedding day,” the woman wrote. “We argued for over two hours just going back and forth on the issue.”
Later, the woman shared that she received a phone call from her fiance’s mother.
Her future mother-in-law told her that she should “start being rational and look at things from her son's perspective.”
She suggested that the woman’s daughter make cupcakes for the buffet instead, but the woman refused.
“I wasn't convinced and felt like they're deciding my wedding plans for me and forcing what they want on me,” the woman wrote. “I don't care how the cake will look but it's the sentiment I care about.”
Other Redditors agreed with the woman and declared her “NTA.”
“NTA and for your daughter’s sake, please don’t marry this guy,” one user wrote.
“NTA. Protect the kid. He clearly does not value and will not celebrate her,” another connected.
Others criticized the way the woman’s fiance handled the situation.
“And don't forget crying to mommy when he didn't get his way,” one user pointed out.
“At any age this is unattractive but at 41!! His red flag is flying high,” another user wrote.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.