If Your Parents Never Taught You The True Value Of Money, You Probably Say 11 Phrases On A Regular Basis
maxbelchenko | Shutterstock The way people are raised has a major impact on their money mindset. When kids are taught about the importance of delayed gratification or budgeting, they often develop impulse control and financial responsibility. However, children with parents who fail to teach them money essentials, like investing for their future or keeping healthy credit, it dictates how they view money in adulthood.
If your parents never taught you the true value of money, you probably say certain phrases on a regular basis, showing a lack of financial literacy. Whereas people who have a solid foundation of financial knowledge tend to discuss money without shame or stigma, those who never learned financial life skills tend to struggle, usually without realizing it.
If your parents never taught you the true value of money, you probably say 11 phrases on a regular basis
1. ‘I’ll just put it on my credit card’
Georgijevic via Canva
When people say “I’ll just put it on my credit card,” it indicates that they don’t have a full grasp on the way credit cards work, which can contribute to spending in a reckless way. According to the Financial Counseling Association of America, having a credit card is a necessity in today’s world, since they help people build credit, but they warned against common pitfalls of credit card use that often land people in serious debt.
FCAA president Martin Lynch pointed out, “Many people don’t realize the connection between the balances they’re carrying and their credit score. The larger your balances or the more you owe, the greater the negative impact on the credit utilization portion of your score.”
Unfortunately, if your parents never taught you the value of money, you may think that putting purchases on your credit card won't come back to bite you. Just because charging purchases to a credit card is easy, it also makes it easy to forget that you’re spending real money, with real consequences.
2. ‘I can’t afford to save right now’
Syda Productions via Canva
Because your parents never instilled in you a mindset revolving around saving wherever you can, you may convince yourself that you “can’t afford to save right now.” People like this believe their limited income holds them back from saving, but they don’t realize that this mindset keeps them from creating their own financial safety net.
Setting accessible, achievable goals can have long-term impact, especially for people who don’t make much money. As experts from life insurance company Paradigm Life said, “Building wealth begins with consistent and intentional steps, no matter your income level.”
Developing intentional money habits helps people build up a sense of financial security, and starting small is better than not starting at all. Even if your parents never discussed money around you, it's important to prioritize saving by putting a small portion of your income aside, even if it’s only 5%. Change has to start somewhere, and taking small steps to secure your financial future is in your control.
3. ‘Checking my bank account makes me anxious’
fizkes | Shutterstock
Even thinking about money can be a major source of stress for someone who wasn't given the proper skills growing up. Their financial anxiety often leads to avoidance behaviors, so they may feel anxious checking their bank account, often verbalizing their discomfort with doing so. Being avoidant might feel helpful in the moment, but it only increases anxiety long-term.
According to psychiatrist Judson Brewer, “There can be all sorts of signs, including procrastination, turning away, not opening our bank account apps — all of those are good signs of money avoidance.” Yet that avoidance doesn’t actually serve a purpose.
Rather than feeling dread when checking your bank statements or how much money is going in and out of your account, lean into finding solutions for financial struggles. As painful as it can be to face financial anxiety, taking a direct yet compassionate approach is the best way to soothe your stress.
4. ‘I’m too young to worry about retirement’
Getty Images via Canva
Feeling financially unprepared now can impact people’s future financial security, which is easy to overlook. People whose parents never taught them financial knowledge tend to think they don’t have to worry about retirement when they’re young, but the truth is, you’re never too young to have a retirement plan.
The Center for Retirement Research at Boston College reported that millennials and Gen Zers have less wealth built up than previous generations did at the same age, mostly due to student loan debt. In fact, 40% of millennial households carry student debt, and their outstanding loan balance is nearly half of their income.
5. 'It’s just 5 dollars, what’s the big deal?’
Getty Images via Canva
People use this phrase to justify small expenses, without realizing how much their spending adds up over time. When it comes to saving money, the little things really do make a difference, and even five bucks spent randomly can cause stress down the road. So, while making a budget might not be the most exciting activity in the world, it’s essential for keeping your personal finances balanced.
Professor of marketing, Utpal Dholakia, explained, following a budget not only helps people find a clear direction when making daily choices, but "it's a persuasive form of self-control" and "equates to saving money regularly, whether it is for retirement or for some other specific purpose like a wedding, a vacation, or a child’s education."
6. ‘I deserve to buy what I want’
Getty Images via Canva
When you use this phrase, you're revealing that you never learned how to separate your sense of self-worth from your spending habits. Emotional spending is rooted in childhood beliefs around worthiness. In fact, research from the University of Michigan determined that children, some as young as five years old, have emotional reactions to saving and spending money, which affect their real-life habits around finances.
Financial coach Pegi Burdick agrees that how we spend money isn't random and is, in fact, a reflection of our childhood. "Some of these are visible, such as never having received an allowance. Others are more subtle like messages about feeling unworthy," she revealed. "Feeling undeserving is one of the biggest distorted belief systems we inherit. And when you consider that, it’s not surprising the number of choices we make based upon false information."
7. ‘I’d rather enjoy life now than save money’
Getty Images via Canva
It’s easy for people to fall into patterns that keep them stuck in a vicious cycle of financial insecurity. Worrying about the future isn’t especially productive, but taking steps to secure your finances can save you from being financially unstable later on.
For many people, financial instability feels unavoidable, which makes them less likely to save for the future. Unfortunately, 54% of people in the U.S. are living paycheck to paycheck due to wage stagnation and the rising cost of living. Even people making over $100,000 a year are struggling to find financial traction, as 40% of that income bracket reported living paycheck to paycheck.
Mismanaging money now can negatively impact people in the years to come, as financial issues can cause psychological distress. Additionally, debt is associated with lower productivity and self-esteem, as well as higher levels of stress.
8. ‘I’ll never be rich, so why bother saving?’
Getty Images via Canva
In many ways, people’s money mindsets stem from their sense of self-worth. When people experience extended financial trauma, it’s easy for them to get stuck in the belief that they’ll never find their footing, so they give up on even trying.
As psychotherapist Joyce Marter explained, managing your finances has as much to do with mental outlook as any practical money-saving techniques, revealing, “When we don’t believe in ourselves and our ability to be financially well, we get caught in a downward spiral of fear, uncertainty, self-limitation, and financial self-sabotage.”
Yet believing we deserve abundance sets us up to “take responsibility and necessary action to practice financial self-care.” As Marter further divulged, taking control of your finances includes taking action to “rewrite the script of your money story and achieve financial success.”
9. ‘I don’t see the point of budgeting’
shisuka via Canva
Because your parents never taught you the true value of money, you may often find yourself saying that there's no point in budgeting. In fact, a financial plan is probably the farthest thing from your mind. You lack the foundation for being financially literate, which means you might avoid budgeting out of fear or just not knowing how to make one that fits your. needs.
Traditional budgeting plans can be tailored to your individual economic situation. By implementing the 50/30/30 budgeting rule, and customizing it to suit your unique lifestyle, you allocate 50% of your income to needs, 30% to wants, and 20% to savings. It's not set in stone, so you’re more likely to stay on track when your budget is actually attainable.
10. ‘The more money I make, the more I can spend’
Getty Images via Canva
This mindset keeps you from achieving true financial stability. When you get a pay bump, you see it as a reason to up your spending, which is known as lifestyle creep. Personal finance writer and educator Erin Gobler defined lifestyle creep, or lifestyle inflation, as “the gradual increase in your discretionary spending as your income rises.”
“While it’s natural to elevate your lifestyle as your income increases, it can also seriously derail your financial goals,” she explained. “When you increase your lifestyle in an amount equal to your pay increase, you aren’t allocating additional money to your emergency fund, retirement accounts, and other financial goals.”
Gobler also acknowledged that there’s a financially healthy way to elevate your lifestyle, without compromising your long-term savings, suggesting people be intentional about their spending increases and if it adds value to their lives. It might seem like making more money means you don’t need a budget, but budgeting brings value to everyone’s life, no matter how wealthy they are.
11. ‘I can figure out my finances later’
Getty Images Signature via Canva
Using this phrase means you're selling yourself short. You don’t feel like you have agency over you financial situation, so you push back any financial planning, waiting for a future that might never arrive. But feeling financially stable comes from taking intentional steps to ensure that stability.
When people see themselves in the driver’s seat of their own lives, they're more likely to act in ways that give them control over their finances. As financial planner Paco de Leon said, “Our relationship with money is a mirror. How we choose to spend or not spend our money is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves... The more you work on your relationship with yourself, the more you're going to see your relationship across all other things in your life improve.”
Our emotions are tied to our finances, no matter how much money we make. We can give ourselves the gift of financial self-awareness by interrogating how we think about money, and how we want to change.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a writer based in Boston, Massachusetts who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
