Your Inner Spirit Guide Has A Message For You About Who Your Soulmate Really Is
When the heart wants one thing and the mind wants another, you need to go deeper.
_brunovisual | Pexels It can be hard to know what type of relationship will most fulfill you, especially when your heart wants one thing and your mind wants another. Fortunately, your inner spiritual guide is waiting to help you balance them so you can find your soulmate or build a soulmate-strong relationship with the partner you currently have.
First, we need to stop belitting our emotions and accept the fact that they can be very helpful guides. And yet, while we must respect our emotions, our decisions should not be made purely emotionally. Instead, we should let our heart and our rational selves work in partnership and then set forth with full intention to invite in the relationship that will be most fulfilling for both.
Your spiritual guide has a message about how to find the soulmate you should be with. Here's how to access it:
1. Get connected to your values
Your values guide most of your decisions. You likely chose your work because it has similar values to you. Your relationships will, ideally, reflect your values, and even where you choose to live is based on what you value.
But can you name your values? For starters, figure out what is important to you and why. Trust that you know what you believe, and allow your spirit to take the lead.
2. Journal
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Writing things down can help you to make sense of your thoughts and feelings. So, make journaling a habit.
- Figure out a time that fits into your life. Create a routine and stick to it.
- Find a journal that speaks to you. Go browse your local bookstore, or online.
- Write freeform. Write in lists. Write questions and answers. Write however feels good.
Then, go back and read your writing. Often. You will notice ideas and patterns that pop up repeatedly. Do not ignore them.
3. Visualize your ideal relationship
Think about what you want from your relationships with others. Feel what you want it to feel like in your body.
- How does your heart react?
- Do you feel soft?
- Do you feel powerful?
- Do you feel light?
Visualize how it will affect your daily life.
- Are you spending every day with them, or do you see them once a week?
- Are you introducing them to your family and friends?
- Do you hang out alone, or socially?
- Do you have them stay over?
Consider how much time you want to spend on it, how much energy you have to invest in it. Reflect on how it will affect your mind.
- Do you want a relationship that challenges your opinions?
- One that supports your ideas?
- One that stimulates you mentally?
Record all of these things down in your journal.
4. Think about the relationships that haven't worked
One way to tune into what you want is to identify what you do not want. Consider your past relationships.
- What did you not enjoy about them?
- What was your breaking point?
- If you could go back, what would you do differently?
- What did you learn from the ending?
- What can you ask for differently going forward?
5. Ask your body what it needs
Find some time to sit quietly with yourself. Calm your breathing and calm your mind. Bring to mind your ideal relationship, and then ask your body what it needs from you, and the person, or people, you are in relationships with.
- Pay attention to the parts of your body that respond.
- Pay attention to silence.
- Pay attention to pain and discomfort.
If nothing comes up, that is OK. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Repeat the process. It will get easier with time and practice. You don't have to believe in the spiritual side of this practice to get in touch with what your somatic self is conveying to you.
Do these things as often as feels good. Start to notice themes that continue to present themselves. Get intimate with your innermost desires, so they show up in your life because you asked for them.
6. Make time for yourself
If you make yourself a priority, you will start to respect your own needs in a real way.
Spending time alone not only helps to connect you with what you truly want and need but also nurtures your most important relationship. When you see yourself as deserving of time, love, and care, you will find the voice to say it out loud.
7. Practice with safe people
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Choose the people in your life who you know will respond well to your requests. Set boundaries they will respect. When your requests are met by people who love you, you will gain strength to say them to more people — no matter the outcome.
8. Filter your input
There is a lot of self-deprecation on the Internet. But, there is also a lot of powerful messaging. You become what you consume. So delete all those accounts that make you feel bad about yourself, and start following people who show up in their power.
9. Start small
Say "no" to one thing — the thing that needs you the least. It will get easier the more you do it. Then say yes to one thing you want, even if it scares you.
Ultimately, the more time and space you give yourself to tune in to your wants and needs, the stronger you are going to feel asking for them. Your spirit will speak through your instincts and reactions as you push forward and try new things. Try to trust it!
The more connected you become with your body and your feelings, the more authentically you will be able to identify your needs and ultimately, get them met.
Celeste Seiferling is a clinical counsellor, intimate health educator, mental health advocate, dancer, aerialist, and writer.
