Women Who Fall For Emotionally Unavailable Men Usually Share These 11 Self-Sacrificing Traits
ArkHawt / Shutterstock At some point, we’ve all fallen for a man who didn’t deserve our time and attention. This type of guy often refuses to put in as much effort as he is given. He may expect a woman to bend over backwards for him, while doing the bare minimum in return. It can be a frustrating back-and-forth.
It’s not surprising that a man who puts little effort into a relationship is usually emotionally unavailable. He may enjoy having a woman in his life, but refuses to open up to her. Although he is holding every red flag imaginable, some women are prone to looking past it. Women who fall for emotionally unavailable men often sacrifice their own needs for those of others. She may view herself as a caretaker who can help someone who struggles with vulnerability. While she wants to do everything she can for everyone else, she is putting her own feelings and needs aside.
Women who fall for emotionally unavailable men usually share these 11 self-sacrificing traits
1. They are insecure
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If a woman is insecure, she may seek out love in the wrong places. The guy she falls for may be reluctant to commit or already involved with someone else. Pursuing this type of man may come from a need for acceptance. If she has low self-esteem, she may not feel worthy of a relationship. The chase with a man who has limited interest in her may feel like something she has to do. Once she wins him over, she may believe her insecurities will be quieted.
However, we know this rarely works out well. Instead of looking for someone who would be interested in having a positive relationship with her, an insecure woman may seek out emotionally unavailable men because she feels like she is not worthy of a positive relationship. Winning over his affections might feel like passing a test for love.
2. They are empathetic
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Having empathy is mostly a positive trait. It allows people to connect on a deeper level. They can see someone else’s struggles and meet them where they are. However, there are times when being too empathetic can cause issues. If a woman is constantly falling for emotionally unstable men, she may be overly empathetic.
Research has found that someone with high levels of empathy may be more at risk for depression and anxiety. They take on others’ feelings too deeply. When this happens in a relationship, a woman may be sacrificing her own mental health to try to help an emotionally unavailable man.
3. They see potential in everyone
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We do not always present the most ideal sides of ourselves. Sometimes, we are going through a tough time and struggle to be patient with others. Whether it’s approaching situations on edge or having a bad attitude, we do not want to be judged when we are not at our best. Some women are compassionate towards this. They may approach each person they meet with rose-colored glasses.
Seeing potential in everyone is a kind trait that can get self-sacrificing women in trouble. They may fall for someone they think they can fix. They’ll say things like, ‘He just needs a little time to come around’ or ‘I’m helping him work through his feelings.’ She may give too much grace to someone who isn’t interested in being the best version of himself for her.
4. They are patient
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Being patient can be beneficial. When it clouds someone’s judgment and leads them to spend too much time with someone emotionally unavailable, it can become an issue. An emotionally unavailable man may make a woman like this settle for less. Through surface-level conversations and a lack of commitment, they offer their partner very little. If a woman has patience, she may find it easy to wait it out for him.
If a woman is overly patient, she is likely to give an emotionally unavailable man more time to prove himself than he deserves. She is sacrificing herself to support a man who may never return the favor.
5. They are responsible
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It can be hard to remind ourselves that we are not responsible for other people’s feelings. If a woman is used to taking on a responsible, caretaking role, she may struggle to separate her feelings from someone who is emotionally unavailable. She will likely give this person more chances than they deserve. She likely sees herself as a safe space for this person to open up to. She feels responsible for helping him grow.
When someone is instinctively responsible, they may view it as their commitment to help others. She may find comfort in being there for someone, even if it is a man who struggles with emotional availability. She may keep him in her life because she will feel guilty if she gives up on him.
6. They are accepting
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It’s great to be accepting. You create a welcoming environment when you meet new people. However, extending too much acceptance to someone’s bad behavior can land a woman in hot water. If she is willing to give an emotionally unavailable man chance after chance because she accepts him for who he is, it can end badly for her. She’s willing to sacrifice her own well-being to give this type of man the benefit of the doubt.
"Women who fall for unavailable men usually feel that they are more committed to the relationship than the men are. These women usually feel that the men have all the power and control in the relationship," says Seth Meyers, Psy.D. "Women in relationships with unavailable men feel that they have to work hard to keep their partners interested, and often try to shape themselves into being whatever they think their partners are looking for."
7. They ignore red flags
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We’ve all been guilty of ignoring red flags at some point. A man will show you exactly who they are, but instead of accepting it at face value, we may look past it. This type of woman wants to see the best in everyone. They will give him many chances to become more emotionally open, but ultimately, he ends up in the same position. They’re sacrificing their own emotions in the name of love.
Someone who falls for emotionally unavailable men may be more likely to avoid red flags. She’s self-sacrificing by giving him more patience and support than he deserves.
8. They have low self-worth
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If a woman has low self-esteem, it can damage their romantic relationships. They may believe they are not worthy of emotionally vulnerable love. Their low self-worth can cause them to settle for less in a relationship. Whether it’s intentional or not, they may choose someone emotionally unavailable. It can cause them more pain.
They may not believe they deserve to have their needs met. When an emotionally insecure man gives them little, they may continue to see him because they do not believe they deserve better.
9. They are fearful of stability
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This may sound strange to some, but some women are naturally afraid of stability. This may come from their childhood. If they grew up in an unstable home, it can be all they know. Their childhood experience may draw them to unsuccessful relationships. An emotionally unavailable man may give her what she is looking for.
The impact of childhood trauma can influence adult behavior. If a woman is raised in an unstable household, she may continue to have rocky relationships into adulthood.
10. They are naive
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Women who have the naive trait may struggle in relationships. If a man is emotionally unavailable, she may choose to look past it. She can have a hard time seeing flaws in others. She may look for the best in everyone. Or, she could be naive to the red flags altogether. It may be too late by the time she realizes he's unavailable.
Being naive can lead women into negative relationship cycles. She may continue to give men chances even when they refuse to make themselves available to her. It’s not easy for them to look past their naive viewpoint.
11. They are strong-willed
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Strong-willed women are not afraid to fight for what they want. They may hear the word ‘no’ and choose to keep pursuing. If a man is emotionally unavailable, she may think she is the one who will change him. She believes in herself, which is usually a great trait, but in this situation, it can get her into more trouble. A man like this may continue to waste her time.
A woman like this may fall for the wrong man because she is sure she can be the one to change him. He will tell her how emotionally unavailable he is, but her strong will might keep her coming back for more. It may be hard for her to admit that a man like this will never change.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
