People With These 11 Soft Traits Are Usually Naive And Lacking Wisdom
Benevolente82 | Shutterstock If you go along with the stereotypes about naive people, you might assume they're more than just uninformed, they're innocent. Often, this is framed as being child-like, as if they as just extreme optimists who have sunny dispositions. In this framework, they find the good in everyone and every situation. This often means they assume everyone else is as kind-hearted as they are. While this is mostly true, being naive also means lacking wisdom, which does not always serve a person well.
The soft traits associated with people who are very naive and lacking wisdom might seem like they're positive and beneficial, but a naive person's inherent goodwill may blinds them to the darker parts of life, which puts them in harm's way. This may even cause them to inadvertently attract people who will take advantage of them. That's why it's good to be aware of whether your optimism is hopeful or simply lacking wisdom needed to keep you safe.
People with these 11 soft traits are usually naive and lacking wisdom
1. They forgive quickly
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Because they take everyone at their word, without considering any ulterior motives, naive people often forgive individuals who have no plan to change their behavior. Lacking wisdom, they might end up forgiving someone over and over for doing them damage.
While forgiveness is framed as the "right" thing to do, it's not always healthy or helpful. Psychiatrist Dr. Frank Anderson spoke on the subject of forgiveness on the Getting Open podcast, explaining that overemphasizing forgiveness sometimes leads people to accept apologies before they're actually emotionally ready to do so.
"Society and culture pushes forgiveness prematurely," Dr. Anderson said. "My experience has been this: Heal first. Choose to forgive second."
"Some people never choose to forgive," he continued. "That's up to them. For me, forgiveness is about the person doing the forgiving, not the person being forgiven." He reiterated, "Heal first, and then engage in forgiveness. You benefit."
2. They are idealists
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People who are naive tend to see everything in a positive light, which often means they have a hard time navigating the rougher parts of life. While idealism is usually framed as a good trait to have, there are downsides to being too optimistic and committed to ideals over practicality, which is what idealism actually means.
They have a tendency to be so positive that it can come off as false or even unkind at times. If a friend comes to them at an emotional low point, a naive person may tell them to stay positive, or think happy thoughts, or just smile more. They may say, "it's all going to work out!" even when there is no guarantee that it will, which is not helpful when a person is struggling.
Their idealistic mindset means they sometimes disregard people's troubles or come off as being dismissive. While this might not be their intention, it can be hurtful.
3. They assume others are as kind as they are
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A person who is very naive and lacks wisdom overlooks manipulative behavior and other low-key cruelty and control because they don't believe that someone would purposefully hurt them. As a result, they often miss the signs that they're being taken advantage of, which can leave them emotionally depleted or broken-hearted.
According to psychotherapist Marni Feuerman the signs of emotional manipulation in romantic relationships often begin by doubting our instincts.
"Emotions are at the core of our decisions about whether to stay in a relationship with someone," she writes. "We all disregard logic and facts when we are caught up in the intoxication that love can create."
"It happens the most to 'good' people," she shares. Especially those who want to see the best in others and have difficulty believing that someone can be so cruel. That's why it's important to give people the benefit of the doubt, but never to the point of being naive. Once someone has shown they're not trustworthy, people with more wisdom will focus on establishing and enforcing healthy boundaries with that person.
4. They're generous to a fault
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Someone who is naive gives without regard to their own needs or boundaries. They hold tight to the belief that people are innately good, which means they don't notice when someone has bad intentions. Their trusting nature can lead them down a dark road, one where their inherently generous spirit is exploited for someone else's gain.
In situations where their generosity is being taken advantage of, they might not stand up for themselves. They avoid self-advocating because they don't want to make waves or hurt anyone. They're more likely to let themselves be taken down than they are to stop giving to someone who they think needs their help.
While overall being generous is a kind of social glue that makes people cared for and fosters connection, a naive person who lacks wisdom can be generous to their own detriment. It may even attract people who see their lack of wisdom as an appealing trait because of how vulnerable they can be.
5. They have a hard time saying 'no'
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Though naive and lacking wisdom, people like this tend to lead with their whole hearts, which means they want to take care of people. Unfortunately, they often overextend themselves and neglect their own needs. They're so accustomed to saying "yes" to others that saying "no" feels almost impossible, which is a sign of people-pleasing behavior.
According to licensed clinical social worker Terry Gaspard, people-pleasers are "people who go out of their way to make sure someone else is happy, to the detriment of their happiness... Becoming a people pleaser is a way in which many individuals neglect to set boundaries and convey to others that they're not good enough."
He has some advice for naive people who feel they can't stop being people-pleasers: "You are not obligated to meet the needs of others," Gaspard continues. "That is their responsibility and only you know what's best for you."
6. They always assume the best
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Because they are naive, certain people expect that every outcome will end up in their favor, which leaves them unprepared for moments when things don't go their way. Because of their deeply ingrained idea that life will take care of itself, they often don't make practical plans and ignore any potential downfalls they might face.
It's important for naive people to break the habit of assuming the best in every situation. In fact, as weird as it seems, they may need to practice seeing the potential bad in people or situations sometimes. It can be a tricky balance, because you don't want to become overly pessimistic, but you cannot find that balance until you see the darker potential.
There's a fine line between assuming the worst and assuming the best, and most of the people who lack wisdom struggle to find this balance. However, as is true with anything, practice is the only way to improve your skills.
7. They see green flags where there are red ones, too
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Every person and situation has potential green flags and red flags. After all, no relationship, job or family is purely good. That's why it's so important to pay attention to your intuition and balance it with your experience and intellect to make sure you're giving proper weight to the red flags.
Naive individuals tend to ignore their intuition entirely or not know how to hear it at all, which means they miss the warning signs that go off when a relationship isn't good for them. For them, the green flags always wave so broadly that the red ones disappear.
While some people may laugh off the idea of intuition, thinking it's a silly concept along the lines of psychic powers or crystal healing, intuition has been widely studied for decades and spoken of by iconic scientists like Albert Einstein. It turns out that there are times when trusting your gut can be incredibly helpful.
A person who is very naive and lacks wisdom is overly trusting. They give people the benefit of the doubt, along with multiple second chances to prove themselves. Overlooking red flags means they neglect their own best interests, which is what happens when a person doesn't gain any wisdom from their past missteps.
8. They're easily influenced
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Swayed by other people's opinions, naive individuals often let self-doubt creep in when they should otherwise stand their ground and set boundaries. Too often, those lacking wisdom allow other people to make decisions for them.
They will take someone at their word, which means they might fall for promises people made but never meant to keep. They change their perspective based on what others think, and they often don't use their critical thinking skills to analyze whether those views line up with their values. This can lead them to choices and decisions that don't align with their values.
They're also vulnerable to deep distress, which cannot be ignored forever. According to Adam Borland, PsyD of the Cleveland Clinic, "When you always put other people’s wants and needs first and don’t have your needs met, it can build feelings of stress, frustration and possible resentment.”
In order to stop doing this, Dr. Borland says, you usually have to start small. “I often use the example of the gradual entry swimming pool. Don’t expect that you’re going to dive right into the deep end. You need to gradually enter the pool and allow for an adjustment period. The goal is to gradually feel more confident in the behavioral changes you’re making.”
9. They don't consider negative consequences
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When someone lacks wisdom they can easily wind up needlessly hurting people due to pure ignorance of what causes harm. This can happen in many ways, but often occurs when they don't entertain the idea that some things don't always work out as planned. They don't want to see negative parts of life, so they close their eyes and hope that nothing goes wrong.
Because they don't consider the possibility of anything negative happening, a person who is naive usually doesn't have a contingency plan in place. They don't think ahead, and they let their optimism override reality, which can leave them in difficult situations that they don't always know how to handle.
They may also speak without thinking about how their words may affect others or make choices without considering the consequences. When people are naive to this degree, they often experience negative reactions from people they care about. If they don't try to do better or improve upon their impulsiveness they can easily become someone who chooses to do harm rather than grow, and that's not good for anyone.
10. They avoid confrontation
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In their quest for good vibes, a naive person will back away from any form of confrontation. They crave a peaceful and positive atmosphere, so much so that they'll overlook what's really going on and pretend nothing is wrong. Their look the other way policy can lead them to feeling resentful or unappreciated.
Psychotherapist Joan E. Childs says conflict is not to be avoided. In fact, she says, "Conflict is productive in healthy relationships," she explained. "There is no intimacy without conflict; unless, of course, you agree never to disagree. Then you have a codependent relationship. In healthy relationships, neither partner subjugates their feelings to please the other."
A person who is naive and lacks wisdom shouldn't feel pressured to change who they are, but by paying more attention to the meaning underneath people's words and tuning into their own emotional landscape, they can protect themselves while shining bright.
11. They make light of serious situations
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People who are overly naive and lacking wisdom will often make light of serious situations in ways that cause others to mistrust them or see them as unstable. This happens for a wide variety of reasons, including past experiences with abuse or growing up in a home full of chaos.
They may have adopted a "everything is great!" attitude as a way of surviving hard times, and it may have worked as a child or in past unhealthy relationships. However, healthy and balanced people may find this trait off-putting or feel like they are being gaslit by this overly peppy attitude.
It doesn't matter how naive someone is, asking other people to deny the reality of a serious situation is going to push them away. They will see the naive person as either unstable or manipulative in their positivity, two qualities that may attract people who will keep them in a mindset that is untethered from reality.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
