Women Who Are Mentally & Emotionally Clueless Usually Say 7 Phrases In Casual Conversation
dikushin | Canva For single women looking for the right man, getting through the first date (or the first time you hang out together) is your priority. You only get one chance to make a great first impression, so you want to be your best. This is your shot at being a delightful, alluring, feminine presence and making your date feel comfortable and at ease.
Some women have a natural knack for this, whereas other women can come across as mentally & emotionally clueless, and they often reveal it through certain conversational habits.
Mentally and emotionally clueless women often say these things casually:
1. 'I'm so busy'
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When you tell a man how busy you are and what a crazy schedule your life has, he could think of any of the following:
- She doesn't have time for me, so she's going to have a hard time committing.
- She won't have time to hang out with me, so she'll probably cancel at the last minute.
It doesn't matter how busy you are — avoid saying this casual phrase that's almost always uttered by women who are mentally & emotionally clueless. If you want to find love, you will find the time and be available.
2. 'I'm so independent I don't need a man'
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When a man hears an emotionally clueless woman say this casual phrase, he will think you don't need a man in your life. You are self-sufficient and don't need any help. Even if that is true, this is a turn-off. Why is that? Because a good man wants to help his woman. He wants to feel needed just like a woman does. So when you throw it in his face that you don't need anyone, you essentially say that you don't need him. You may not need a man, but don't make this seemingly harmless comment if you want one.
3. 'What kind of car do you drive?'
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Asking a man this question will alert him that you might be a gold digger... or mentally & emotionally clueless. Even if you are a car enthusiast, I recommend avoiding asking superficial questions like this. I also wouldn't pay too much attention to his expensive watch or designer clothes. The last thing you want to leave him with is the impression you're a status seeker. Men want to be liked for who they are, like you do. Clueless women rarely get second dates.
4. 'My ex is the worst'
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Sometimes, on a first date, you start to relax around the guy and feel like you can really talk to him. So you open up and start to tell him about your life — and your exes. Please don't utter this mentally & emotionally clueless phrase. Talking about your ex conveys that you're not over him yet — or maybe you're not even ready to date at all.
Think about it this way: Why would you bring your ex up on a date with a new man? Will that reflect on you in a positive light? Not really. It's like bringing your ex to the date! You'll have plenty of time to tell your love war stories later. First dates are meant to focus on you and your date, not your ex, kids, etc. Don't jump in with him, even if he brings up his ex.
5. 'My job sucks'
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Speaking of first impressions, when you complain about your job (or your health, financial situation, legal problems, etc.), you are hugely downgrading yourself and showing how clueless you are. This is too much information for a first date and certainly no way to make an excellent first impression. Men want a woman who is happy with her life and has her act together. Sharing your troubles will not lead him to think this about you. Instead, share what makes you happy and what is happening in your life. Show him your good side so he can get to know the real you.
6. 'Online dating stinks'
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I won't argue that connecting with the right man can be tricky. However, when you start talking trash about other men you've met online, the man in front of you will start feeling defensive. This is entirely natural and the same way you'd feel if he condemned all women. Don't discuss how hard dating is or the crummy men you've met. You want him to think you are a great catch and a gem of a woman without yet being discovered by another man. Now he's got a chance with you! Don't ruin that fantasy. If you bad-talk your other dates, he will view you as a mentally & emotionally clueless woman. That doesn't make you seem very desirable. Don't go there!
7. 'I'm exhausted'
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I cannot tell you how many men shared that emotionally clueless women treat them like a therapist on a first date. This is especially true if the man is easy to talk to. Perhaps you forgot that you are sitting before a handsome, kind-hearted guy. This is not your opportunity to dump your problems on him. This is your chance to get him excited about you! But if you follow this unpleasant line of conversation, he'll think you are overwhelmed and lack the vital energy he is seeking in the right woman.
You want to give him the impression that you are up for getting out, doing things together, and enjoying yourself. Here's the advice I share with my dating coaching clients daily: It's not about where the good men can be found (though that's what most single women over forty ask me); it's all about who you are when you meet them.
Ronnie Ann Ryan is an Intuitive Coach, Past Life Reader, and author of six books. She’s the creator of the free audio course How to Ask the Universe for a Sign and Get an Answer Within 24 Hours. She's been published on ABC, BBC, and NPR.
