8 Sweet Ways Happily Married Couples Stay Happy Together

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how happy married couples stay happy together

You may think that a happy marriage can thrive on love alone, but you would be surprised to know that it takes much more than just love to make a marriage work.

Successful marriages are the result of trust, friendship, communication, and, of course, compromise. Emotional intimacy in a long-term relationship is not sustainable merely under its own momentum. 

You need to work at it every day.

The most successful marriages are those in which two people make a conscious effort to build their life together, and that's not something traditional marriage advice always gets right.

But if you are ready to build the happiest marriage possible for yourself and your partner, there are certain tried-and-true actions you can take right now — and for the rest of your life.

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The eight ways happily married couples stay happy together: 

1. Accept your partner

The first step to take toward an amazing marriage is learning to accept your partner with the good — and the less good. Remember that it is different when you are dating and only seeing someone once a week and therefore always having a good time.

Marrying the person you love means you will be with them all the time and you will be exposed to their every habit. When you live with each other, you have to accept each other in totality.

Your partner will have habits that will annoy you. Learn to accept their flaws as you would expect them to accept your own.

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2. Appreciate what you have

Don't let the huge mansions of others make you lose appreciation for your love-filled shack. You must take care not to compare your life with the lives of other people or your marriage with other people's marriages.

Be grateful for what you have, recognize the value of your own partner, and know that every couple has its own set of challenges, difficulties, and hardships.

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3. Support your partner on their journey

While marriage is about co-creation, shared visions, activities, and interests, it is important for each partner to take time for themselves as well as they move through life.

Developing individual paths to fulfillment is important and requires that you support your spouse in all endeavors and respect each other’s choices.

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4. Focus on growing and changing yourself

If you want to grow as a couple, you need to grow and change as individuals. Make sure that you are the kind of person who is adaptable to change

Focus on changing yourself rather than on changing your partner. Learn to become the best partner you can be, as it will make you a better and happier person overall.

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5. Find happiness within

For a happy marriage to last, each person needs to find happiness within themselves and feel content with what each has.

Marriage isn't only about the luxury items you own and the holidays you take together. It's about how happy you make yourself day in and day out, as well as what you each do to make the other happy.

How will you make someone happy if you don’t act in a way that reflects joy? 

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6. Be passionate

Passion is the presence of powerful positive emotions and energy. It is an underlying sense of excitement, enthusiasm, and joyfulness. What is a marriage without passion?

Make sure that you express your love, feelings, and desires toward your partner. Like you, your spouse needs your passion and love.

Your partner needs to feel attractive and appreciated. Let your partner know how passionate you are about them and how being with them brings out the best in you.

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7. Have fun and laugh

An important ingredient of any happy marriage is experiencing the fun and laughing together. Laughter is contagious and brings positive energy, along with stress and conflict relief.

Be silly with each other and laugh like you did when you were kids.

Remember that marriage is about pleasurable companionship. In order to keep the spark alive, you need to spend quality time filled with a sense of humor, enjoyment of each other, and an easy-going attitude towards your spouse.

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8. Build shared interests

You and your spouse are two different individuals with different preferences, tests and choices. You may like football and your spouse may like reading a novel.

You two may not be alike, but you can build shared interests and values from which you can create shared dreams with one another.

Do things your partner loves to do and ask your partner to do things you love. Strive to build common interests and you will see how wonderfully it helps your relationship bond and grow.

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Moshe Ratson is a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist (LMFT) and infidelity expert in Midtown Manhattan in NYC. He helps couples overcome the traumatic experience of an affair, rebuild their trust, and emerge stronger and happier.