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They make a point to keep their foundation strong.
By Roland Legge — Written on Mar 04, 2023
An excellent place to start is to reflect on how much you trust yourself.
Think about it for a moment. On a trust scale of one to ten, where are you? One is no trust, and 10 is complete trust.
First, you must trust yourself to build and maintain healthy trust in your close relationships.
Learning the Enneagram can help you increase trust in your relationship.
What is the Enneagram? It is a psychological-spiritual tool to help you understand what makes you tick and why you get along with certain people more than others.
Your primary Enneagram type shows you where you get stuck when you are under stress and a way out of it towards wholeness and healing.
Using the Enneagram, let us reflect on nine ways to build shared trust in your relationship.
Regardless of your Enneagram type, there is plenty to be learned about strengthening your bond from each type.
Here are nine ways to create a foundation of shared trust — and forge a forever bond
1. Elevate yourself and others
One energy calls upon us to have shared ethics and values that can help us nurture our shared trust. It allows you to see what you can bring to the world as a couple. It reminds you of what you can achieve when you are both at your best.
When you both can see the excellent potential for your relationship, you will find ways to nurture the relationship through all the ups and downs of life.
You will learn to stop criticizing yourself and others.
One energy brings to your attention the dangers of being too much of a perfectionist.
First, you need not be so hard on yourself.
You are human, and you will never be perfect. The gentler you are to yourself, the more compassionate you will be to your partner.
2. Cultivate mutual affection
Two energy reminds you of the importance of caring for your partner and showing compassion to friends, family and strangers. Most importantly, you must allow your partner, friends and family to love you back. Don't be afraid to ask for help for yourself.
There needs to be a balance in your relationship. There will be times when one of you needs more attention. But you need to be able to look back and see that you are equally supporting each other.
You need to ensure that you are taking care of yourself. Pay attention to the wisdom of your body to learn how to take care of your physical self.
Also, pay attention to your heart to learn from your feelings.
3. Seek perspective
Discover the power of Three energy in your relationship. Allow your hearts to shine! Enjoy your ability to see the big picture to see how as a couple, you can bring creativity, positive energy and the energy to make your dreams a reality.
You have a big beautiful heart, and when you share this part of you, you invite your partner and friends to do the same.
You will be at your best when you show up as your authentic self. Ensure you do not try to be anyone other than your true self. It is hard to be true to yourself without shared trust.
4. Embrace your individual strengths
You and your partner are unique. Four energy reminds you to celebrate who you are. It reminds you to accept and love all your peculiarities. There is no one exactly like you.
It is easy to think the grass is always greener on the other side. Instead of looking at the neighbors, take the time to be grateful for what you already have.
Learn to observe your emotions as they happen. Remember, your feelings are constantly changing. Learn the difference between what you think and what you feel.
5. Practice lifelong learning
Find something that you are both passionate about to learn together. Still pursue your interests and share your learning with your partner.
Do not be afraid to share half-baked ideas. It is helpful to understand better what your partner is processing. If it concerns something that will impact your partner, you will want them to become part of the decision so that they can have some input.
Make sure you both have time to recharge your batteries. When you have big decisions, make sure you both have time to think about them before sharing them.
Use good communication tools to ensure you understand each other, strengthening shared trust in your relationship.
6. Maintain loyalty to each other
Six energy calls upon you to be loyal to those you love. This energy desires safe places to grow where you can reveal your true self. What helps you both to feel safe when you are together?
It can be helpful to discover problems before they become serious. Just be careful you don't start seeing issues where there are none.
Help each other to trust the inner wisdom within you both. Ensure that both of you know you have each other's back. You can let all your walls down to bond with each other. You have nothing to fear because you have each other.
7. Be present in the moment
Seven energy reminds us that life is short and that we must make the best of each day. Name your dreams; don't be afraid to make them happen. Please think of how you as a couple can support each other in helping to make them happen.
You will benefit from not ignoring your inner pain. The more you try to repress it, the greater the walls will go up around your heart.
The more you block your heart, the more difficulty you will have in your relationship.
Learn to enjoy each moment, take time for yourself and don't hesitate to commit to your partner.
Your shared trust will increase when you are fully and equally committed to each other.
8. Always be honest
Eight energy is vital, big-hearted, compassionate and energized.
Learn to speak your truth. Let your husband, wife or partner know how much you appreciate it when they stand up for themselves. Eight energy wants to know your true feelings and emotions.
This energy invites you to be honest and upfront with each other.
You never have to guess what your partner is feeling. They say what they think, even though sometimes it comes out stronger than intended.
9. Accept imperfection
Nine energy brings out the desire for you both to get along with each other. You are open to understanding your partner's perspective.
You are good at working through conflict. You have a high level of shared trust with each other.
You accept that there will always be conflict in your relationship. It is more a matter of how you handle the difference in opinion. How do you find win-win solutions?
You both need to be honest about your needs. You both need to show up in your whole self to have a great relationship.
So when you have big or little decisions, ensure you are honest about your feelings.
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Roland Legge is an author, Certified Spiritual Life Coach, and teacher of the Enneagram. He helps people connect to their inner selves and find alignment with their highest purpose and values.