Two Times You Should Just Let Your Man Do His Thing

Just let him solve this one.

Man lost looking at a map, times to let him take the lead AnnieSpratt, simonapilollatnf | Canva

Have you ever said something that you thought was smart and well-meaning to a man at the "wrong" time and had your feelings hurt when, rather than being thankful, he got a bit short with you? Have you ever wondered if you should help a man or just be silent and let your man take the lead as he works through something himself? Perhaps when you hesitantly try to fix the situation, the next thing you know he's upset with you and you're kicking yourself.


Sound familiar? Over the years, I've learned to stop being so controlling and a "know-it-all" in my relationships and to just let the man work it out and be okay in the silence. Silence can be a wonderful thing. By no means do I mean to be the silent, inferior little woman. Heck no! My point is: that most men are great problem-solvers and more than capable but sometimes your interjecting or small distraction can take their eye off the issue. Men are great at focusing on one thing at a time so if we try to be helpful at a certain moment, although we're trying to "help," it can backfire. Here are two times when women should give men their control back and remain quiet and observe from the side.


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Here are two times you should just let your man do his thing: 

1. When a man gets lost

You may not know this but he is trying to figure out how to get the both of you to your destination. Inside, he's already frustrated at himself and this is a moment when it's valuable to let him work through being lost. Yes, you may have many ideas going through your head, and suggesting something in a very loving way could help the situation. However, I suggest sitting back and admiring his ability to solve the problem at hand.

Consider it attractive to watch a man think, ponder, analyze, and find the solution. He may ask you for help; he may not. Yes, this is where our independent nature has to "surrender." When he gets you back on track to your final destination, it's a fantastic time to let him know how great he did. Men are amazing at problem-solving — so let them do it!


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2. When a man is watching TV or a movie 

Men love to focus on one thing at a time and have their undivided attention on what they're doing at that moment. Believe me,  he's not intentionally ignoring you. A man's level of concentration is a wonderful gift if you can see it that way. If you try to have a conversation with a man during his concentrated time, it could be a recipe for disaster. 

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Let your man have time to watch and immerse himself in his favorite TV show, sporting event, or movie —  let him be absorbed and give him his time. You will soon have time with him and he will give his undivided attention and strict focus on you. It'll be well worth it. Men are amazing people and they love their time to focus and concentrate. It's a beautiful thing — if you can see it that way. Allow men their moments and you may be surprised what fantastic problem-solvers they are. 

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Suzanne Muller-Heinz is an international speaker, dating coach, and author of Loveable: 21 Practices for Being in a Loving & Fulfilling Relationship.