Suzanne Muller-Heinz, Other - Expert

“My sessions with Suzanne started off having nothing to do with dating men. I knew I had some work to do on me before I was ready to let someone in, so we spent the first couple of months just working on my relationship with myself.  The tipping point for me was learning about forgiveness.  I had no idea how important forgiveness was!  So before I, and Suzanne, gave me the green light to start dating I needed to immerse myself in forgiveness.  I knew that forgiveness was the only way to remove the dark cloud that hung over my heart.  That dark cloud of anger was in the way, which meant there was no room for anyone to get in.

I had a lot of forgiving to do!  First up, me.  I had to forgive myself for all of the bad choices I’ve made in relationships.  Whether that choice was the person or the choices I made within the walls of those relationships.  We went through each relationship one by one clearing out any left over negative feelings and forgave each one of them.  It was liberating.  I was able to clear a space for good things to come in; I was able to open my heart.  No more anger.

My first crack at letting someone in was a disaster!  What a gut check that was.  I learned quickly that I couldn’t let just anyone in.  The man I let in needs to be deserving of my trust.  That’s when we honed in on what I call phase 2: The fulfillment list!  I had a very short fulfillment list before my brush with disaster boy.  So Suzanne and I got real with my fulfillment list and that’s when everything changed.  I refined it, added to it, changed it.  Soon enough I met someone who inspired me to add even more to that list.  He showed me, without even realizing it, that there is more and there is better.  And he tells me all the time that I deserve this and I believe him.  This is a man who is deserving of my trust.

I am finally able to open my heart and together our willingness to be brave and vulnerable and to trust one another is what sets this relationship apart.  I have found someone who communicates with me on a level that I require and he challenges me to do the same.  A year ago I would not have been ready for this, now I am.” -Jenny

“James and I were at a dead end, namely my dead end. You see James was separated but not divorced and was somewhat unreliable. There was love but little trust, connection that was matched by frustration and joy met by tears and anger mixed with passion.

As a result, I hit a wall and threw up my hands up in despair, and we went our separate ways. I had to cut ties to honor myself even though we loved each other.

So having tried to be out of love, and tired of trying, thankfully Suzanne came into my life. She was the obvious choice being so in love herself, and oozing the positive vibes of love, happiness and harmony.

I took a series of coaching sessions. The first one I went through an exercise from the book, and I cried buckets and buckets and buckets. And of course, I talked about James. The next session, more clearing, then 3rd session, what do I want?

I realized that James was what I wanted, but the behaviour was not. The conversations with James began again. What were we committed to? What had to change for us to work? What did we both want more of and what we were prepared to do or not do to have it?

After finding a great quote that says “the grass is greener where you water,” and discussing the messaging of dating with James, we started back at the beginning with dating and a clean slate.

Our relationship is sometimes joyous; sometimes hard; but we both wanted it so we persisted. There were times of painful honesty, tears and anger, and also laughs, fun and love. But mostly, we are committed to each other and having a relationship that works for both of us!

We have now been back together now for eight months, closer than we’ve ever been and happy planning our future. The path would have never been this clear if it hadn’t been for Suzanne, and I’m so happy. “ -Jane

Now with a clear and clean slate to work with I created just connecting with someone…if it lead to a relationship then great…if not, great. The important part was that I saw who I was going to be for myself, for a possible love interest, and most importantly for my. I gave myself a new outlook on love that I could step into. I’m now in a relationship that has continued to grow and blossom for over 2 years, and we are now living together. I continue to use the techniques I practiced in Suzanne’s workshop nearly three years ago to grow my relationship and steer it in directions that inspire me, my boyfriend and my daughter. I am truly grateful and free to express myself fully in this area of my life.” –Shannon

There was a gentleman I started dating just as we were wrapping up our coaching. I stayed intentional in keeping it light, letting him lead, JennJimBlogpicand believing it could happen for me. I now believe!!

Well, I can’t say it is merely coincidence that the guy I started seeing a couple months ago has turned into a ‘keeper’. And, he’s all the things I didn’t believe existed for me: he adores me, wants to protect me, is the alpha (former military guy, so that helps) is uber-bright, and we love lots of similar things. He’s asked me what my dream trip would be, and is already plotting how to make it happen. And I LET him. It’s a weird feeling for me to let him handle life. But it works really well!

Thank you for helping me open up to possibility! I may not have believed you when we worked through it, but somewhere, you got through to me. So, thank you!” –Jennifer

Suzanne immediately made an impact by helping me change my mindset. While I tried very hard to not get caught up in the “here we go again” syndrome, it was a natural response to my lack of results. She helped me design a dating mantra, where I adjusted my attitude and demanded better! We went from “I hope this one gives me a fair chance” to “I’m going to wow her, and she can’t wait to see me again!” This change helped me stay positive and open to new possibilities. Not long after this, a woman contacted me on match.com. We had so much in common just from our profiles. After a couple of weeks we talked on the phone one night, which made her nervous and in reality, it was our first date. The next night we met for our date, and everything just clicked right away for both of us. There was no doubt that we were both on the same page about many things, and the attraction was definitely there! We have been together now for over ten months now, and our relationship is fantastic. It feels so much different that even my previous relationships have, it feels wonderful. I have Suzanne to thank!  And now we’re getting married in May 2014!!!” –David

And in my imagination if I did find a girlfriend, she wouldn’t really be what I wanted, but what I thought I deserved – related to how I felt about myself.

Suzanne helped me put my relationship with my ex girlfriend in the past – freeing me up to live without that constraint. She helped me explore the possibilities and benefits of a loving, working relationship. She had me describe the characteristics of the woman I would want to be with and what love is for me. Then she helped me get out of my own way – my arrogance, fears and concerns to make having a relationship even possible. We also worked on me being straight in my communication.

Wow! After working with Suzanne, I went from having no dates to four possible interests -including a referral from friends. And boy were my socks knocked off. I was blown away – here is this one woman who is everything I wanted. Smart, educated, beautiful, classy, articulate, emotionally mature, adventurous and fun! It was scary how close she was to what I had written down. What also shifted was my communication. I was holding back, and when I settled in to being myself and bringing my strong communication skills to the table my confidence soared and now my new girlfriend loves me for me. This is the real deal!” –Jeff

I just couldn’t fathom why? Why could no guy see what a truly cool, fun and beautiful gal I was?!? Well, to be honest, I was quite aware that none of my dates had one of my non-negotiables, the insatiable urge to travel and explore the world the way I do, to want to live and work abroad, but I was willing to forego this must-have, just in order to finally have a normal relationship again.

In short, I was stuck in my dating patterns and frustrated with dating in general. It was pure coincidence that I found Suzanne Muller and learned about her services as a dating and love life coach. As they say, when the student is ready the teacher will appear… We started working together in April 2013, talking, doing the exercises of her book ‘Lovable’, her always challenging me to my core. Tears were flowing! Suzanne’s advice is very no-nonsense (for instance, she advises against playing by ‘The Rules’, which I’ve always abhorred) and straightforward. She helped me tremendously clearing up my baggage. I started decluttering my brain of my negative beliefs, and getting very clear on what kind of man and relationship I really wanted (yes, I wanted a MAN and a GREAT relationship!). I finally started regaining my confidence about men, dating and love.

A couple of weeks after my last session with Suzanne, three and a half months after our first session, I flew across the big pond to spend my yearly big vacation in my beloved San Francisco. That first night in town I went on a first date with Eduardo, whom I had met on an online dating platform about the same time I had my last session with Suzanne.

Everything flowed from the beginning. Talking and laughing for days on end. We immediately were a couple! Four months after our fun first date Eduardo put all his belongings into storage, came to live with me in Switzerland for three months, where we decided to move to Istanbul for four months in order to see where life would take us next. I’m finally living my life as a modern gypsy again, just as I how I always wanted to do, but this time with my fun team and playmate by my side. I couldn’t be happier to sharing my life with my incredible modern vagabond companion.” -Sarah

I met a few people with my new and fabulous online dating profile, but no one floated my boat. It definitely was good practice though to get on the dating court. Over time I learned how to identify a healthy relationship and acquired the skills to be the kind of partner a man would look for and desire.

In October 2013, I was picking up computer to be fixed, and the man whose computer I was picking up, who works in another department, asked if he could take me out to lunch or dinner.  He is someone I’ve always liked but never thought of as a possible partner. I gladly accepted his invitation. On our first date he held out his arm, and as I slipped my arm into his, I felt so loved and cared for.  In the past I would not have thought twice about saying I didn’t need his help to walk to the car.

Sparks flew and quickly!  We fell in love in less than a week and things are still going strong. Why? I think because working with Suzanne unleashed my heart to exude love, even at work and with everyone, and this very smart man could feel that there was something ‘special’ about me.  He said he’d been wanting to ask me out for years but had never been brave enough to ask me earlier.

I didn’t expect finding the love of my life to happen so quickly! Or so easily. It has been an amazing few months! We’re talking about OUR future together. I showed him the list of attributes I had created with Suzanne. He is even more than I ever dreamed was possible…  We’ve started a list of places and things we’re going to do together. I really am so thankful for all the work Suzanne helped me do to be able to appreciate who he is.” –Sue

So now what? I’m 40 years old and alone with two small children and basically no life other than being a mom. Thank goodness for my old friends (and new friends to come) and counseling. My friends took me out and introduced me to country dancing and the counseling helped me to see that there was really nothing ‘wrong’ with me. Soon after, I had a couple of boyfriends – the first relationship was for about eight months and the next was for three and a half years. Nice guys, just not ‘the’ one. After that I dated here and there and went for a stretch of time where I didn’t date at all. I just didn’t want to mess with it anymore. I didn’t even realize just how resigned and cynical I was becoming about dating and men.

Then came Suzanne’s workshop. Within the first five minutes I knew what was in between me and dating. The workshop was fun and creative and it gave me a whole new world for me to live into! Afterwards, I was actually looking forward to going on a date so I started looking into internet dating and when I went out dancing I had so much freedom around men. Fun and play were present for the first time.

In February 2011, I was out dancing when someone asked me to dance – I had no idea that this would be the man of my dreams! Because I now knew exactly who I was and what I wanted in a partner and in a relationship I was able to just open up and be with him. It was magical – so much so that we were married 6 months later!! I am truly blessed to have such an amazing man in my life and I know I wouldn’t have this if it wasn’t for that little few hour workshop I took of Suzanne’s where I got all that ‘junk’ out of the way so I could actually SEE him. I will be forever grateful!”  –Donna