5 Truly Attractive Traits Men Look For In A Life-Long Partner

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What are the personality traits men look for in a life-long partner?

In our never-ending quest for love, awareness of those traits is a good piece of knowledge to have in your toolbox.

While, of course, this list won’t apply to all men, you can bet that most of them would agree that what I am about to say is true in relationships.

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Here are 5 truly attractive traits men look for in a life-long partner:

1. Self-confidence

A man wants a woman who knows exactly who she is and is happy with that. And a woman who will tell him exactly what it is that she wants. A woman who can just be herself. A woman confidently walks down the street rocking her cowboy boots and tight jeans.

Why? Because a man doesn’t want a woman who isn’t sure of herself, who relies on him to make her feel good. A man doesn’t want a woman who needs him to guess what he can do to make her feel happy and secure. He wants to be told what is needed so that he can do it (and not screw up!).

So, if you aren’t feeling so good about yourself, it’s time to work on that. And the only way to build your self-confidence is to go out there and earn it.

Set a goal for yourself. Make a plan. Make it happen. If you do, you will feel good about yourself. I promise.

2. Independence

A man wants a woman who is independent. While men do love women who will lean on them at times for love and support, they don’t want a woman who needs him there at all times to take care of her.

A man wants a woman who has her own life, her own friends, her own career, and who enjoys being with him but doesn’t need to be at all times.

Why independence? We all need our space sometimes and a woman who is independent will be fine letting their man do his own thing. And a woman who is independent is someone a man has to work for and nothing intrigues a man more than someone he has to work for.

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3. A love of laughter

On the dating site, the number one most requested trait in a partner is a sense of humor. This was over physical looks and financial security. Why? Because laughter brings people together and that is what love is all about, being together.

I am not saying that you should go out and buy a book of jokes so that you will have some at the ready on your next date. What I am saying is to keep your mind and heart open to laughter when your guy says or does something to make you laugh. 

Men love to make their women laugh. I am not sure what part of their prehistoric brain needs feeds but, without exception, the men I know want to be able to make a girl laugh.

4. Sexual inquisitiveness

I am not saying that it’s time to break out the whips and chains here. What I am saying is that men are looking for women who are open to talking about sex.

I was surprised to learn recently that a friend of mine is in a long-term relationship with a woman who is very uncomfortable talking about sex. Their sex life is fine but he is hoping to talk about mixing it up a bit. She isn’t comfortable even talking about it so he stopped broaching the subject. And he is not happy.

Again, I am not saying that woman should be willing to do whatever a guy wants, sexually, but I am suggesting that being open to talking about it is an important trait in a woman for a guy.

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5. Femininity

I know in this modern world, it might not be totally cool for me to say this but I firmly believe that, no matter what is happening politically, men want women to be women.

I know that my boyfriend really appreciates my self-confidence and independence but I remember the first time he saw me in a dress. He had only ever seen me in jeans and hiking clothes and there I was, suddenly looking like a girl. His jaw actually dropped.

Men also like women they can (at least sometimes) open the door for, who let him make them laugh, who let him know when he finds their ON button. Women who make a man feel like a man.

If you were wondering what traits men look for in a long-term partner, I hope my list has been helpful.

Men want women who can be themselves in a relationship, who want happiness and laughter and sex, and who make men wonder, just a little bit, who this amazing woman is they have been so lucky to end up sitting beside.

So find your inner self-confident, independent, open and girly self and go out there and rock some guy’s world.

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Mitzi Bockmann is a Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington Post, Prevention Magazine, and The Good Man Project, among others.