5 Tiny Marriage Errors Wives Make That Drive Husbands Away, According To Experts

These marriage mistakes can be fatal.

Husband throwing his hand up at his wife TITOVA ILONA | Canva

Your husband is emotionally distant, uncommunicative, and feels like a burden to be around. You wonder what his problem is, and he doesn't want to discuss it. Where do you turn next?

Here are 5 marriage errors wives make that drive husbands away, according to YourTango experts: 

1. You withhold intimacy

Maintaining a healthy relationship is a shared responsibility of the couple, and they need to customize and curate a personalized love language that works for them.


Intimacy, both emotionally and physically, is essential to many relationships. Withholding them out of spite or as a kind of punishment can cause a husband to feel unwelcome and withdraw themselves.

Sidhharrth S Kumaar, Astro Numerologist

RELATED: 7 Sweet Things Husbands Love About Their Wives — But Often Don't Say Out Loud

2. You lose your Individuality

While it's normal for a pair to become one, it might be harmful to integrate your identity with that of your spouse. Keeping up your interests, friendships, and pastimes makes you both fascinating and makes your partnership more dynamic.

— Sidhharrth S Kumaar, Astro Numerologist

RELATED: Comforting Habits That Turn Good Men Into Truly Incredible Husbands




3. You have self-driven self-sacrifice

Sacrifice their individuality for the sake of their relationships. Men may think they want a woman 100% dedicated to their needs. But in reality, this causes men to lose interest in their wives. Instead, women would be wise to continue to grow and develop in the areas that interest them. Even if this initially causes conflict, standing up for yourself to carve time to pursue the intellectual, artistic, international, and cultural areas that inspire you - will ultimately benefit your marriage (or if not, then it might be time to end that marriage). Having interests keeps you interesting and is key to a thriving relationship where both people are inspired by their interests.

Jennifer Hargrave, Owner & Divorce Attorney, Hargrave Family Law

error that drives husbands awayPhoto: Voronaman via Shutterstock


4. You ignore him

All communication stems from a deep desire to connect. When an attempt to connect is ignored or returned with harshness, this results in what John Gottman, a psychologist and researcher from the University of Washington, calls "rejected bids." According to Gottman, rejected bids may be one reason for marital conflict. Humanity has a deep desire to connect and we reach out to offer a "bid" of connection, and then the "bid" is either accepted or rejected. Humans need 85% of accepted bids to feel connected. Do you ignore bids of connection because you’re distracted by smartphones, iPads, and other electronics? How do you respond to the bids — with warmth and a smile or with a sneer and a smirk?

Joan Nosal, Personal Development Coach

RELATED: 4 Huge Mistakes Married Women Make (That Push Their Husbands Away)

5. You take them for granted

One significant error married women (and anyone in a relationship) might make, which can drive their partners away, is taking someone for granted. When the initial spark of a relationship begins to settle into the routine of daily life, it's easy to forget to appreciate the little things that make a relationship special. Over time, this lack of appreciation and acknowledgment can create a divide. Partners may feel undervalued and invisible, leading to feelings of disconnect.


Clare Waismann, M-RAS/SUDCC II Waismann Method and Domus Retreat Founder

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There you go. Now you know what you do that makes things worse in your marriage. Remember, maintaining a relationship is a shared responsibility to yourself and your spouse.


Will Curtis is a writer and editor for YourTango. He's been featured on the Good Men Project and taught English abroad for ten years.