4 Things Women Want Their Husbands To Know — That Men Don't Often Hear

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couple smiling on the couch

In today's world, marriage is growing ever more challenging to engage in and commit to. But what it takes to get into a good relationship is also required to keep it alive and healthy.

If people want to keep their relationships together, they need to start listening to their partner. Too many people don't. Even more importantly, they need to care how their partner is feeling.

Many men don’t understand why their relationship needs maintenance. They have a tough time comprehending that relationships are a living, breathing thing that needs to be tended to and nurtured in order to stay healthy, alive or thrive. But sometimes, they don't quite get what their wife is trying to tell them they desire.

Here are 4 things women want their husbands to know that men don't often hear.

1. What she needs and wants

She tells you her love language by the way that she loves you. She's built opposite of you, so you cannot think like a man to make your woman happy and create a successful marriage with her.



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You must actually learn about women, how they think, what sex is like for them, how their hormones play a role in everything, and what's important to the female mind, heart and body. Men need to learn about what really makes women tick.

But it's not good enough to just read or take a few classes; no, you need to actually ask your woman about her own unique wants and needs. And then, you need to pay very close attention to what ignites her or shuts her down.

2. If you sexually fulfill her

Women have been raised to protect the delicate ego of the man. It’s a well known fact that women frequently lie about having orgasms. There are countless reasons why women do this, the main reason is pretty simple.

Women don’t want to hurt your feelings. They are made to believe that if they speak up, the man won't change anything, anyway.

Early on in a relationship, sex is explorative, playful, and adventurous. As time goes on, sex can become mundane, boring, and even a chore. Women crave and need adventure. It's shown that women become bored in relationship far quicker than men do and the main reason for your woman’s boredom is that sex became a routine.

things women want their husbands to know that men don't often hearPhoto: Ron Lach / Pexels

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Same old same old, no more adventure, play or foreplay. You stopped being concerned about what makes her feel desired and good in the bedroom. When this happens, your woman starts to slowly get turned off and shuts down.

3. How badly she wants to be courted

Courting is about romance. Women want a man to pay attention to the little things in her life, ask her about her day, and then actively listen when she shares. Not in a Mr. Fix-It way, but as the compassionate partner in her life.

Courting is about taking the time to plan out new adventures for the two of you to experience together. Kife can become mundane and boring because it's just work, home, kids, and repeat. This does not breed desire, passion, connection or depth; it leaves your woman feeling empty and unseen, like she does not matter.

What did you do when you were trying to prove yourself to her, when you were fresh in the relationship? Not that she needs it at this very same level, but you better believe that she needs it, and so does your relationship, if you want it to be healthy and last.



Men put far too little value on flower-giving or the random gift. Pay attention to what she really likes and would love, not what is useful or needed, or that you as a man want.

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4. How to get her in the mood

This is most likely the number one issue women have with men. Lack of hearing her about this can cause her to cheat or deny you sex. If you don’t want to land yourself in either of these situations, realize that foreplay is important to women.

Women need time to rev-up. They do not function like a man — their bodies are not on board with just a quick kiss and grab. No — women need touch, passionate kissing, playfulness, and a man with a desire to learn their bodies.

Your woman has most likely tried to share these things with you.

She may have cried, threatened, or fought with you about some unmeaningful thing in hopes that you could read her mind. Perhaps, she has not linked these things to the way that she's feeling or viewing you or the relationship.

things women want their husbands to know that men don't often hearPhoto: Thamyres Silva / Pexels

Women may not have a full understanding as to their sexuality and how interlinked it is with their life and happiness. But you can learn with her. Happy wife, happy life — as the saying goes.

The best way to have her happy is to focus on these things. Stop treating her like she's a man, or like she's some hormonal person. Stop worrying about fixing her troubles unless she asks.

Instead, focus on building back the bonds, desire, and creating passion and adventure.

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Rene Schooler (AKA Kendal Williams) is a highly-trained intimacy and relationship coach, author, and speaker. Her work has appeared on Elephant Journal, Medium, The Good Men Project, and Raw Attraction, and she has been featured on LifeTime TV and 'Married at First Sight'.