3 Things That Have To Happen Simultaneously For A Man To Fall For A Woman
All three conditions exist.
phM2019 / Shutterstock Most of us consider friendship to be an important part of any romantic relationship. But, that's also where things can get confusing.
You might be building a beautiful friendship with a guy you're interested in over text, but sometimes it's tough to figure out if he's interested in you or just being friendly.
Is he into me?
Fortunately, there are some simple signs you can look for once you understand how guys text when they like you.
Here are three things that have to happen for a man to fall for a woman:
1. Do you have chemistry?
The reason texting gets confusing is that, even if you think you have chemistry when you first meet a guy when he's only texting you instead of calling and seeing you in person, it's hard to tell if he was just flirting in a friendly way, or if the two of you made a real connection.
A major barometer of whether or not he likes you more than as a friend is whether or not you have chemistry between you.
A guy who feels chemistry with you will move heaven and earth to see you. So, if he's only texting you, odds are he didn't, and he only sees you as a friend.
2. Are you compatible?
Guys tend to be realistic about this one. Even if they do have chemistry with you, if they suspect a compatibility issue — if you live too far away, for example — they'll quickly recognize that it's not going to work.
Unfortunately, this won’t stop many of them from texting you, because for most guys, getting some attention from a woman is better than getting none at all.
This is why you need to be realistic as well. Ask yourself, "Are we truly compatible?"
This applies in many areas, but the first one is geographical. If he lives more than an hour away, he may come to see you once, and maybe even twice. But, the odds of this becoming a way of life for him are low.
So if a guy is texting you but not making an effort to see you, it may well be that he doesn’t think you’re compatible and he just wants to be friends.
3. Do you have non-verbal communication?
The lack of nonverbal communication involved in texting causes all kinds of miscommunication and confusion.
You may think that if you're texting each other all the time, you're communicating, but romantic relationships are built in person.
When a guy sees you in person, you have completely different conversations. Body language, physical touch, and eye contact are key ingredients in nonverbal communication. If a guy likes you, there will be times when he suddenly stops talking to communicate with you in one of these ways.
That can’t happen if he’s only texting you and you don't see each other in person. No amount of verbal communication can replace what isn’t said between you.
This is why, to put it frankly, if a guy doesn’t stop talking and make a move on you at some point, no matter how often he texts you, you’re just friends.
The three things that have to happen to make a man fall for a woman are chemistry, compatibility, and nonverbal communication.
You have to have all three.
Without chemistry, you are just friends. If he’s not making an effort to see you, you probably don’t have chemistry.
Compatibility always trumps chemistry. If you live too far away or for any other reason he feels you’re not compatible, he may text you and stay in touch, but it’s not going anywhere.
Nonverbal communication tells you everything you need to know as far as whether or not he likes you as more than just a friend.
If he's texting to say he can’t wait to see you, great! If you’re geographically compatible enough to make that happen, great!
And if at some point during an in-person conversation, he stops talking, I think we’ve answered your question.
He likes you as more than just a friend.
James Allen Hanrahan is a dating and relationship coach for women based in Los Angeles. He's also the author of A Life of Love and Dating Advice for Alpha Women.