11 Super Subtle Signs A Woman Is Lying To You
If she's trying too hard to act normal, she might be hiding something.
Robert Petrovic | Shutterstock Men lie. Women lie. But when it comes to catching someone in the act, people tend to assume women are easier to read. The truth? Not so much. Women are often socialized to be more emotionally aware and expressive, which makes their lies trickier to detect. Research from the Journal of Language and Social Psychology shows that women are more inclined than men to tell "prosocial lies," which are harmless fibs meant to protect feelings or maintain relationships. Women generally excel at hiding these lies without showing obvious signs, so even if you think you could tell if she were lying, some of the clues are so delicate that they might just go unnoticed.
Recognizing these little hints can be harder than you might think. But just because her lie is subtle doesn't mean it's impossible to spot. If you get the sense something's off, don't ignore it. Certain patterns in her behavior can give her away. These aren't wild accusations, but they're things that are worth paying attention to.
Here are 11 super subtle signs a woman is lying to you:
1. She suddenly turns on the charm
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Based on Buss et al.'s research, charm is a well-known manipulation trick that people often use early on in deceptive interactions to distract others and gently steer the conversation away from uncomfortable truths.
A woman knows all she has to do is shake what her mama gave her, and he won't be able to think about anything but her body. So, if she's trying to change the subject by being flirty, don't let your brain forget the check her smooth moves can't cash.
2. She gets weird about surprises
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If she doesn't feel comfortable accepting gifts from you, either she isn't really feeling you anymore, or she did something bad and feels guilty because you're being so nice. This isn't to say only buy her flowers for no reason other than to see if she squirms, but it's a good barometer.
3. She acts way too casually in her responses
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Does she respond casually? A pause is a good thing if you're reading poetry and a bad thing if you're looking for the truth.
Stammering is a surefire sign she's treading on shaky ground. One experiment even showed that listeners tend to rate speech with pauses or disfluencies as more likely to be deceptive, even if the speaker isn’t truly stuttering.
4. She sounds like she's giving a rehearsed speech
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On the other hand, this isn't the "State Of The Union." It's just you, her partner. So, if she's using overly formal language and sounds almost like she rehearsed this speech, beware. Just like a slick politician, she's full of it.
5. She gets mad or defensive
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If she gets mad at you simply for asking about something, that is a real problem. If she cares about you, she'll want to put your mind at ease.
If she turns the tables on you and gets all accusatory about being badgered with questions, something is up. Research indicates that defensiveness and evasive language are clear warning signs of deception.
6. She's fidgeting, avoiding eye contact, or acting nervous
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Body language signals to look out for: fidgeting and other compulsive, repetitive movements are bad signs. If she's making eye contact, that's a good sign. However, research actually shows that people think liars fidget more or avoid eye contact, when in fact, deceptive people often limit movement and keep gestures minimal.
7. She lies to other people easily
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Have you seen her lie to other people about big things for her own benefit? I'm not talking about tiny white lies like "all this hair is really mine" or "I baked this from scratch," but real, character-compromising lies.
If the answer is yes, then what makes you think she isn't willing to fib to save face with you? When she lies to others, how and why does she do it? Now compare it to your situation — sound familiar?
8. Her story doesn't quite add up
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If she's telling a story and leaving out the details, ask for them and then watch her body language. On the other hand, if she's telling the story and it's unusually long, why is she so nervous?
Research indicates that when liars are asked unexpected follow-up questions, their stories tend to become less detailed, less believable, and less consistent compared to those telling the truth.
9. She insists she never (ever?!) thinks about her ex
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If she vehemently denies she ever even thinks about her ex-boyfriend, she's lying. Every girl thinks about her lost love, but that doesn’t mean she doesn't think what she has with you is better — that's the key!
10. She just agrees with everything you say
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Are you telling the story, or is she? If she just says yes to whatever you're saying about it, there's something more you should know.
She should be coloring the story with personal details, not merely going along with what you already know. Studies show liars often mirror agreements to seem likable and avoid raising suspicion.
11. She makes you doubt your own instincts
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We all run on instinct. If you think something is fishy, speak up. If it's merely paranoia, she should be able to help you relax. But if you still feel something is not right, it most likely isn't. When has your gut lied to you?
Simcha Whitehill is a freelance writer, children's book author, and NYU graduate. Her work has appeared on The Frisky, The Daily What, Fangoria, Nickelodeon, Jane Magazine, among others.
