11 Specific Signs You're About To Fall In Love, According To Research
Falling in love doesn't just happen — these research-backed signs can actually predict it.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock Imagine skipping awkward first dates by filling out a questionnaire and getting perfectly matched by an algorithm that claims to know your personality and what you're looking for in a partner. That's the promise of many dating apps, but research suggests it doesn't quite work that way. In a 2017 Psychological Science study, participants were paired based on their personality data and sent on four-minute speed dates. The researchers found that people weren't any more likely to feel attracted to their algorithm-approved match than to anyone else. As it turns out, self-reported personality traits don't do a very good job at predicting attraction in the real world.
So, when the dating app formula falls short, what helps us figure out who we might fall in love with? It's less about personality tests and more about a mix of timing and specific situational factors that create the emotional connection needed for love. There are specific signs you can watch for to know if you're about to fall in love, according to science.
Here are 11 specific signs you're about to fall in love, according to research:
1. You share similar values and ways of thinking
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The similarity of people’s belief sets and, to a lesser extent, the similarity of their personality traits and ways of thinking. Research shows that when someone has beliefs and attitudes that closely match yours — especially on issues you care about deeply — you're not just more likely to like them, but you're also more likely to pursue a deeper connection. A 2020 study published in Frontiers in Psychology discovered that when people share similar attitudes, it tends to increase their attraction to each other. If those attitudes are deeply held, it can also make them more willing to form connections and bonds.
2. You spend time together, even by chance
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Familiarity with others can be caused by spending time together, living near them, thinking about them, or anticipating interaction with them. The mere-exposure effect shows that we tend to like people more the more we see them. The 1950 Westgate studies, conducted at MIT, found that physical closeness — such as being neighbors or classmates — significantly boosts attraction through the propinquity effect.
3. You're genuinely attracted to their looks or vibe
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Outer appearance, which is often considered desirable, and, to a lesser extent, desirable personality traits. Physical appearance — especially facial symmetry, clear health signals, and even one's energy or voice — plays a major role in attraction.
A meta-analysis of nearly 100 studies found that attractiveness significantly influences romantic interest, even more so than factors like income. That initial spark truly matters — it's the kind of vibe that catches your eye and makes you stop for a moment, creating the perfect foundation for something more meaningful.
4. They like you back, and you feel it
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It might sound obvious, but when you sense someone genuinely likes you, especially in a way that feels special, it creates something genuine. That’s called the reciprocity of liking: decades of research confirm that we tend to really like people who show they like us.
5. Your friends and family approve
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The potential union satisfying general social norms and acceptance of the potential union within one’s social network can contribute to people falling in love. Or, if a union does not satisfy general social norms or is not accepted by one’s social network, this can result in people falling out of love.
It’s not just about you and them — when your social circle supports your relationship, it strengthens the bond between you both. Research indicates that when individuals sense that their partner has the approval of friends and family, they often feel happier, more committed, and more stable in their relationship. However, if social expectations aren't met, it can sometimes make partners feel less secure and more uncertain about things.
6. They meet a need you didn't realize you had
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If a person can fulfill needs for companionship, love, intimacy, or mating, there's a greater chance that the other person will fall in love with them. It's more than a kind gesture — when someone consistently fills a psychological or emotional need, such as being there when you need comfort or understanding, your emotional bond deepens.
Studies show that fulfilling core needs within a relationship strongly predicts satisfaction and commitment, meaning that when someone meets those needs naturally, it helps you (and them) fall in love.
7. You experience something exciting or intense together
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Being in an unusual or dangerous environment can spark passion, even if the environment is perceived as dangerous or spooky. Sharing an adrenaline rush — even from something like a spooky bridge or intense experience — can spark passion.
In a 1974 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, men who crossed a rickety suspension bridge and then met an attractive stranger misinterpreted their fear as attraction and were significantly more likely to reach out afterward. It turns out that when you're both riding that high, your brain can mistakenly perceive it as chemistry.
8. There's something uniquely attractive about them
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A particular trait of the other may spark a particularly strong attraction; for instance, parts of their body or facial features. Sometimes it’s a striking physical feature that catches your eye. Other times, it’s something less visible but just as magnetic — their intelligence, the way they think, or how they see the world.
Anthropologist and researcher Helen Fisher puts it this way: "Smart is an aphrodisiac for love." She found that 89% of singles would commit to someone more intellectually inclined than themselves, and that people are naturally drawn to partners with similar levels of intelligence and curiosity. So, whether it's their bold smile or the way they discuss obscure philosophy at brunch, that one unique trait can make you seriously attracted to someone.
9. You're actually open to love right now
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The more you want to be in a relationship, the lower your self-esteem and the more likely you are to fall in love. It might sound simple, but timing matters — a lot. Studies show that the more someone wants to be in a relationship, especially when their self-esteem is lower or uncertain, the more open they are to falling in love.
For instance, research on self-concept clarity found that people with less clear self-views (often tied to lower self-esteem) are more likely to pursue relationships mostly for emotional fulfillment, and less based on long-term compatibility.
10. You spend focused, one-on-one time together
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Spending time alone with another person can contribute to the development of passion.
When you carve out space to be alone with someone without distractions or a crowd, it creates the opportunity to form a deeper relationship. Decades of relationship research have shown that sharing time together helps partners to "include the other in the self," which brings people closer emotionally. Spending moments together and growing closer can also lead to increased passion, as confirmed by another study.
11. They're just a little mysterious
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Some degree of mystery surrounding the other person — wondering what they’ll say next or when they'll text — can fuel attraction. Studies indicate that when someone isn't perfectly clear about how they feel, you're more likely to think about them and become more interested. So, yes, that playful unpredictability might be boosting the sparks between you.
As the list makes clear, many of the factors that determine whether people should connect romantically are circumstantial or a result of how people behave in courtships and relationships.
While it may be possible for modern technology to determine partner matches by relying not just on personality, but also on people's particular circumstances, no such algorithm can provide us with the skills necessary to maintain a relationship that is both healthy and exciting. These types of relationship skills may need to be acquired through long-term practice and training.
Berit “Brit” Brogaard, D.M.Sci., Ph.D., is a professor of philosophy and Director of the Brogaard Lab for Multisensory Research at the University of Miami. Her work has been featured on MSNBC, Daily Mail, TIME, Psychology Today, and ABC News.
