If Someone's Marriage Is More Like A Business Partnership, They'll Do These 11 Things Without Noticing

While the burden of “invisible” labor like planning, organizing, managing household labor, and even childcare often builds resentment, usually for women in a relationship, focusing exclusively on these responsibilities together in a marriage can often overlook the power of intentional romantic love. If someone’s marriage is more like a business partnership, they’ll do these certain things without noticing — like focusing more own chores than quality time or prioritizing scheduling tasks over dates.

Natural “roommate phases” in early marriages, when couples are still finding a balance between cultivating intimacy and handling logistics, are natural, according to psychologist Silvana Mici. But being in this space for too long can drain the connection and closeness needed to sustain longevity. Couples don’t necessarily need romantic love to survive, but they surely need to focus on growing it to thrive together for life.

If someone’s marriage is more like a business partnership, they’ll do these 11 things without noticing

1. They have to schedule intimacy

couple who has to schedule intimacy talking at home RollingCamera | Shutterstock

Of course, planning dates and carving out time to connect is sometimes a requirement for busy, overworked couples to cultivate romantic love. But if every moment of otherwise “natural” connection, like cuddling in bed, is scheduled down to the minute, it might feel like you’re in a business partnership, rather than a marriage.

Like psychologist La Keita D. Carter explains, scheduling tasks sometimes removes the intimacy that spontaneity brings, so for every few dates and planned moments you schedule, there should also be another moment of random, surprise connection.

2. They’re always thinking about efficiency

couple always thinking about efficiency talking at home La Famiglia | Shutterstock

Like relationship expert Carolyn Sharp explains, when we slow down amid the chaos of everyday life, we cultivate space for true connection and closeness. If we’re always thinking about efficiency, completing tasks, and staying productive, we miss out on the space to reconnect — even if it’s only for 5 minutes at the end of the day or for an hour on the weekends.

If someone’s marriage is more like a business partnership, they’ll do these things without noticing — subtly sabotaging their attraction, romantic love, and intimacy over time.

3. They split expenses down to the last penny

couple splitting expenses down to the last looking at bills PeopleImages | Shutterstock

According to a study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, finances are one of the biggest points of conflict for many long-term couples, often cultivating a lot of resentment and division, especially without open, honest communication.

While being overly diligent about budgeting and splitting expenses down to the last penny may feel like the right call, this rigidity almost sabotages the intimacy that comes from a shared partnership and life. Of course, have separate bank accounts or find your own best way to manage your money, but be careful about prioritizing fairness over equity and intimacy.

4. They problem-solve like co-workers

couple problem-solving like co-workers kapinon.stuio | Shutterstock

Conflict-resolution health is also often a predictor of personal, physical, and relationship well-being, according to a study from the University of Georgia. When couples practice how to resolve conflict, approach confrontation, and express their concerns with empathy, they set themselves up for success.

While some of that conflict resolution is logistical, the majority of it revolves around active listening, emotional support, and sheer intimacy. Couples who resolve conflict healthily lean into the safe space their partner provides with love and support, not necessarily rigidity and corporate lingo.

If someone’s marriage is more like a business partnership, they’ll do these things without noticing — using phrases like “let’s circle back to this later” and being overly cold when trying to problem-solve together.

5. They make decisions without heart

couple making decisions without heart simona pilolla 2 | Shutterstock

Instead of making life decisions in the frame of romantic love, closeness, or heart with their partners, if someone’s marriage is more like a business partnership, they’re always thinking about logistics. Whether it’s time, money, or efficiency, they’re planning a life based on tangible outcomes, rather than romantic love and experiences.

You can plan the future logistically, but don’t forget to also plan the fun. Lean into the slowness, the love, the intimacy that comes from making decisions for your relationship’s best interest, not always your bank account or 5-year career plan.

6. They completely avoid conflict

man avoiding conflict with his wife PeopleImages | Shutterstock

Arguments can be healthy in a marriage if couples have the right tools and mindsets to approach concerns with grace, empathy, and “we-ness.” If they’re trying to “win” arguments, play on opposing teams, or struggle to be vulnerable and open, they can be toxic and harmful.

If someone’s marriage is more like a business partnership, they’ll likely avoid conflict out of fear. Chances are, you are more likely to avoid confrontation more with co-workers and struggle with resolving issues, which is why it's not surprising that couples in this kind of relationship dynamic "protect the peace" more often.

7. They suppress uncomfortable feelings

woman suppressing uncomfortable feelings sitting away from her partner Rido | Shutterstock

Suppressing uncomfortable emotions may provide a fleeting sense of comfort and protection against negativity, but in the long run, you’re only setting yourself up for more emotional instability. A study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology even found that emotional expression lowers the experience of positive emotions.

So, for a couple that feels more like a business partnership at home, suppressing emotions might feel like a way to keep the peace, but it only adds more resentment and disconnection to a relationship already lacking passion and intimacy.

8. They track everything

husband who tracks everything sitting with wife Dean Drobot | Shutterstock

If someone’s marriage is more like a business partnership, they’ll often lean into “tracking” things intensely. From their bank statements to their health biometrics, and even household labor with a chore chart, they’re always thinking about efficiency, productivity, and growth — but not necessarily in an intimate way.

While other healthy couples track their progress in a relationship and make a consistent effort to evolve into the best version of themselves, these other “business partnerships” are more interested in individual growth and strategy. Ironically, it’s actually healthy connections and relationships that play the biggest role in life quality and personal health.

9. They’re always negotiating

distant couple always negotiating sitting on the couch Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock

While making healthy compromises and having open conversations about decisions is important in a relationship, negotiating like business partners can feel more transactional than bonding.

If someone’s relationship is less like an intimate connection and more like a business partnership, negotiation is their second language. Whether it’s dealing with household labor, handling financial logistics, or taking care of their kids, everything is a give-and-take focused on fairness.

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10. They focus on everything looking good on paper

couple who focuses on everything looking good on paper Basicdog | Shutterstock

Whether it’s making the decision to have kids or buy a home, people in a marriage disguised as a business partnership often notice and strive for everything to look good on paper.

While they may notice they’re not fulfilled or happy, they find security in knowing that they’re abiding by social rules and expectations. These long-term relationships can be stable and secure, but the romantic love and intimacy that truly make them enjoyable are lost.

11. They operate side-by-side, not in sync

couple not in sync with each other MDV Edwards | Shutterstock

If someone’s marriage is more like a business partnership, they’ll often operate parallel to each other or side-by-side, without truly being in sync. They’re often focused on their own growth or productivity, overlooking the beauty of small moments of kindness and connection with each other.

While logistics, planning, and organization are all important, the truly powerful part of a marriage is the little things that make up daily life. Cuddling before bed, having deep conversations, and catching a glimpse from a partner across a crowded room — all things that are missing from a “business partnership-like” marriage.

Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.