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Is your relationship healthy?
By D. Begg — Last updated on Jan 12, 2023
You’ve seen it all before. From movies, books, and even TV series, you witness many ways in which relationships last or fail.
In fact, maybe you’re even sick of hearing advice on how to have a healthy relationship.
But it really is true that relationships need more work and attention than people usually think.
And while it is an amazing feeling to have a romantic partner, you need to be wary if your relationship is already leading toward an unbearable and potentially irreversible path.
Sometimes, though, all it takes is a small change to get things on the right track.
Here are six small, unsexy personal changes to make if your marriage is rocky:
1. Learn to accept things as they are
Relationships always start by getting to know each other.
One thing you need to bear in mind is that if you enter your relationship without fully accepting the other person, then it won’t work.
Do not enter a relationship hoping that you can change your partner. And even while in the relationship, stop waiting for the change to occur.
If you do, this will be a great mistake and possibly even lead to developing a toxic relationship.
And if they do change, but it's not in the way you want, you'll need to accept that, too. The fact is that change is the only consistent thing in this world.
Learn to accept things as they are when they present themselves to you.
If your partner does change, it will be out of their own volition — not yours.
2. Have enough time for yourself
Being in a relationship doesn't mean that you always need to be together for it to work.
One of the things you never should give up once you enter a relationship is time for yourself. One mistake people make when in a relationship is building their world around their partner and relationship.
And this means that if the time comes that the relationship breaks down, they're left with nothing. This is where having enough time for yourself would mean so much more than you think.
If you feel like you need to put everything in focus, take some time off.
Go have fun with your friends and pamper yourself. Be sure to allow your partner to also have time alone.
Let your partner enjoy time with friends and respect each other’s alone time. This is how to respect your relationship with yourself, which will enrich your relationship with your spouse or partner.
Since it takes a lot of energy to maintain your relationship, a good rest will help a lot for both of you.
3. Take charge of your own happiness
Remind yourself that your happiness is in your own hands and isn't dependent on your partner for you to feel good.
Bear in mind that you don’t need to settle on a relationship that makes you feel miserable, though.
In fact, you can search for happiness in many different ways, and this will help you feel more at ease in your connection to your love.
Don't give away control of your own happiness.
4. Realize your own worth
If you know your own value, then you won’t have to settle on something that won’t make you happy in the first place.
There are times when you enter a relationship just to stop yourself from feeling lonely, but in realizing your worth, you will get to avoid being in one.
Never settle for what you feel is not really worth your time just to avoid being alone.
5. Surround yourself with positive people
One of the ways that you can be optimistic about a lot of things is by surrounding yourself with positive friends.
Having a positive support group surround you can help you reach and claim your own happiness.
And make sure that you're doing more than just surrounding yourself with great friends — let go of toxic relationships that are hurting you, too.
6. Find ways to motivate yourself to be a better partner
Relationships aren't just fun, happy times — they're work. Arguments, disagreements, and sad events happen.
If you're struggling through one of these patches, remind yourself how amazing you can be, and it will help you stay confident and happy in your relationship.
You can do this in little ways by leaving yourself notes or even "bribing" yourself by rewarding positive actions you've taken to strengthen your relationship.
Sometimes, the motivation you need to be a better partner will come from where you least expect it, so recognize when you've done a good job.
There may be times when your reminder that you're doing your best in your relationship is all you need to get through the hard times.
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Donna Begg is the website admin of Consumer Health Digest where she works with beauty and health experts. She is an expert editor, researcher, and analyst.