6 Signs Your Relationship Has The Kind Of Ride-Or-Die Loyalty People Rarely Find Anymore
simona pilolla 2 | Shutterstock Is your partner ride-or-die, or crash-and-burn? When the going gets tough, do they jet at the first sign of trouble? There's nothing worse than thinking you have a rock-solid relationship, only to see your partner bail at the first sign of trouble. Research has suggested there are early signs of whether a partner is more likely to stay or leave.
We all want someone who sticks with us through thick and thin. But for some reason, a lot of people don't seem to realize relationships are never perfect. There will be rocky roads in even the best romances. And that's why having someone to lean on, who will put in the required work and ride-or-die loyalty in a relationship, is essential.
Here are 6 signs your relationship has the kind of ride-or-die loyalty people rarely find anymore:
1. Neither of you runs at the first sign of problems
The sign of a true ride-or-die partner is a willingness to tackle relationship problems head-on. It means they think you're worth a little turbulence in the long run. Someone who avoids conflict too much or runs from problems isn't going to be the kind of person who fights for your relationship.
Relationship coach Engracia Gill recommended, "Be sure to focus on solving the problem. In dealing with a conflict, it’s easy to finger-point or cast blame. You may even start to nit-pick at your partner. This type of behavior stems from a general annoyance or anger toward your partner. Although it’s completely natural to experience it, it can prevent you from resolving the problem. So, stay focused on the real issue."
2. You are good to each other even when upset
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Anyone can be cool when the going is easy, but it takes a strong person to still be a good partner even when they're hurting. It's so easy to lash out, say mean things, or not hold up your end of the relationship bargain when you're mad at the other person. A person who can swallow their pride and still treat you well during the toughest of times is a sign they're thinking about the future, not just about right now.
Marriage educator Lyndsay Katauskas suggested, "You can stay rational and calm while discussing serious problems with your partner if you're aware that the topic of discussion could be reactive for both of you. Taking time to plan, prepare, and be ready to support and nurture will make a world of difference when you sit down to resolve the issue at hand."
3. You become part of each other's inner world
When your partner isn't only establishing a relationship with you, but also with your loved ones, it means they want to be a part of your life. The fact that they are trying to embed themselves in everything connected to you is a sign they don't plan on bailing anytime soon. They want you to be a part of their life as much as they want to be a part of yours. You don't get in that deep with someone unless you plan on staying there.
This goes for their family as well, explained life coach Sidhharrth S. Kumaar. "Your partner's dedication to include you in their life will be evident. It may look like asking you to holiday gatherings with their friends and family, or to dinner with their immediate family. Either way, they make a point of including you in all plans with loved ones and want you to become a part of the family."
4. You genuinely enjoy being together
Don't get me wrong; everybody needs alone time. But the couple who play together, stay together. Happy couples who spend quality time talking and doing activities together are more likely to avoid big fights. Studies have shown that comfortable moments of just being together, doing nothing, or enjoying small routines like having your morning coffee together are as important as having a serious discussion.
5. They stick up for you when you're wronged
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Sometimes, the best sign somebody is going to fight for you is actually seeing them fight for you. The ride-or-die partner won't stand idly by when someone treats you badly in public or makes you have a bad day.
Women often focus on feeling safe in a relationship, usually because of past bad experiences, a study explained, so trust isn't built quickly. It grows through shared moments over time with open, honest conversation. Actions build trust, so a partner who steps up to defend you (assuming you want to be defended, of course) shows you can depend on them.
6. They show up no matter what
The worst thing is needing someone who doesn't want to be there for you or who doesn't show up when you really need them. A person willing to lend you their strength is a person who wants to keep you around. They want to help you because they're looking toward the future.
Couples counselor Lynda Klau, Ph.D., said, "No matter who you are or what your work is, you need to nurture your relationship. Staying in love and maintaining a good relationship takes work every single day. Like a garden, the more you tend to your relationship, the more it will grow."
Someone who's going to bail wouldn't bother helping you because they can just move on to the next person who doesn't require as much work. A true ride-or-die relationship does not require anyone's death and departure. A ride-or-die person is the one you can always count on to be there when you need them and sometimes, they can know what's needed just by reading the signs along the road.
Bob Alaburda is an editor and writer focused on relationships, science, and pop culture. His work has been featured on Fox, Huffington Post, and more.
