15 Signs He's Posing As A Hopeless Romantic — But Won't Commit

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woman holding man's hand leading him

Being a hopeless romantic was the kind of thing that girls were told to pursue in a man. We were told that hopeless romantics would shower us with romantic gifts, watch The Notebook with us, and even rub our shoulders after a long day of work.

And... people were right. They would do romantic things to get us. Hopeless romantics, in fact, do adorable things to get us to melt our icy hearts for them. The problem is that they also have a dark side to them, and that dark side is commitment issues.

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What happens with "hopeless romantics" is that they are addicted to the chase and can't commit to anyone out of fear of "running out of romance." Though some hopeless romantics can commit, many just can't. Here are some signs that your hopeless romantic is a hopeless pursuit. 

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Here are 15 signs he's posing as a hopeless romantic — but won't commit: 

1. He doesn't ever really seem to have long-term relationships

You know this type! You've known him to woo, wine, and dine girls, but he never quite seems eager to settle down. The end result is a string of failed relationships and a lot of broken hearts.

2. You noticed that the gifts and compliments stopped after you two were officially an item

Now that you two are together, it almost seems like he's bored, you know?

3. At first, all he'd talk about is marriage; now, he skirts the issue

This is a key sign of someone with commitment issues who's posing as a hopeless romantic. This shows that he likes the idea of marriage but will always get too bored to actually pop the question.

4. It's always his ex's fault that the two split up

When you hear his stories, you'd think his exes were she-devils in human suits. Every single time you hear of an ex, you hear the nasty things she did to him, even when it doesn't seem that horrible.

If every ex seems like an abusive, unstable wreck, you have to wonder why a romantic like him would date you.

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5. He has an unnervingly large collection of Disney films or chick flicks

Don't fall for this trap. A guy who buys too much into Hollywood romances is a guy who can't handle a real relationship.

6. You feel like you need to play a part or entertain him

If you constantly get the feeling that you need to keep him entertained or he'll leave, it's probably because it's true. Unfortunately, this happens to be what "hopeless romantics" tend to be about. Once they feel they've conquered you, they bolt.

7. It seems like he has a thing for damsels in distress

If the guy you like keeps insisting on "rescuing" girls, you need to move on. He'll probably end up leaving you once you're in a good position in life.

8. Everyone thinks his standards are unreal

He's the chubby, physically unattractive, unemployed guy who keeps hitting on modelesque women in high-powered positions. He's the "romantic" who always tried to court women 15 to 20 years younger than him.

While this may work in rom-coms, the reality of the situation is that these kinds of hopeless romantics typically only court women who are out of their leagues because they can't look past a woman's superficial traits.

9. The romance he's into always seems superficial

If it seems superficial, it's because it is. Guys who are like this don't like women to get too close to them, because it may make them drop their dashing, romantic hero façade.

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10. He moves way too fast

Within the first week, he's already asked you to move in with him. He's constantly talking about meeting relatives and going on vacation together.

Any time a guy does this, you need to be wary. This is either a sign of a serial monogamist or an abuser, and neither will lead to a happy, long-term commitment.

11. He runs hot and cold

This is a classic sign of a commitment-phobe who feels a need to sabotage his relationships. If you find yourself always doing wrong, no matter what you try to do, he's trying to make a way out for himself.

12. He's unusually charming

Does he always seem to know what to say? If so, be careful. Most players tend to have silver tongues.

13. You notice that he has dating damage control down to a T

Ever notice how the most sociopathic people tend to already know how they're going to do damage control when they do something terrible? You can't help but notice that they already have a lot of damage control for breakups.

14. If you really think about it, he's self-centered

His actions always are a means to an end. Nothing about him is ever selfless. The reason why is that his love of romance is all about him playing a role, not him actually looking for a commitment.

15. There's always a reason why he hasn't lived with anyone or had a long-term commitment

And half of those reasons don't make sense. Why? Because he's a commitment-phobic man.

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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory Magazine, and others.