8 Signals Women Give When She's Not Interested But Too Polite To Tell You
If she's doing these things, she's already made up her mind.
Prostock-Studio | Canva Communication is all about signs, and in dating, even more so. Some people can read the signs, but others appear completely oblivious.
Guys can be just as clueless as women when it comes to reading dating signals, especially since women have their own set of subtle brush-off techniques. After countless boring dates and awkward interactions, we've decided to let you in on our secrets. So we have compiled the signs that she's just not that into you.
8 signals women give when she's not interested but too polite to tell you:
1. She stops replying
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You call her, you leave a voicemail, and she doesn't text you back. If she really wanted to reach out and keep in touch with someone, she would have called you.
This is a big one, and probably a kinder way for a woman to tell you she's not interested. Who wants to read a text about all the reasons someone doesn't want to date you?
2. She's always 'too busy'
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Sure, everyone has a busy schedule, but it's the quality of the excuse that counts. If it's, "I have to clean my apartment," she doesn't want to be with you. No one is busier than someone who doesn't want to spend time with you.
"This could be just a fact of life if she’s a single parent with young children, has a high-pressure job, or both. You are way down on the list, which means she’s not ready or even available for a committed relationship at this time," added dating coach Ronnie Ann Ryan.
3. She avoids eye contact
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Eye contact is a big sign in romance, as dating coach David Wygant said, "It takes a certain level of confidence and strength to hold eye contact with someone, especially if you’re attracted to them, without looking away. You know what it's like, the magnetism and draw. The way everything just falls away around you as you make and keep eye contact with a stranger across a room. A lot of great first impressions are made by simply holding eye contact and smiling."
Whether you're having dinner for two or getting down on the dance floor, if she's not looking at you, she's not looking for you.
4. She brushes you off in social settings
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At a party, if she's talking to Joe Schmo and Wendy Whatsherface more than she's chatting with you, you're nothing special to her. Being set aside is never a great feeling, but try not to take it too hard.
"Rejection is not a reflection of your worth as a person. You are not a failure just because this woman chose to leave the relationship (or not start it in the first place). You may feel hurt or disappointed, and it’s important to let yourself feel those feelings, but don’t beat yourself up over it. Instead of focusing on what’s wrong with you, put your attention on what’s right," advised Dr. Wendy Lyon, Ph.D.
5. She brings other people on your dates
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You shouldn't have to jump through hoops to get her to give you the time of day. If you have plans, and she unexpectedly invites other people along, it's time to say bye-bye.
Spontaneity is fine, but you didn't sign up for an impromptu group date. If you are getting to know each other in a new relationship, the added distraction of a third or fourth wheel on a date can be a problem. Especially if she brings along someone who's really into taking control of the conversation.
6. She points out the negatives
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She tells you exactly what her friends think about you, and it's not all good. This level of sharing is too much and is intended to drive you out the door.
Coach Ryan explains, "Being honest with yourself is a big factor in creating a healthy relationship. If you try to hold on when you aren’t getting the commitment you want, it creates resentment, anger, frustration, fighting, and more. On the other hand, when you face the facts, you free yourself up to find a new loving relationship that suits you better."
7. She talks about other guys
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If she so much as mentions other attractive guys, you have to forget her because she won't forget about them.
Counselor Janice Lacy explains how you might be attracted to unavailable women: "You may realize it's been the story of your romantic life, and you have been falling for emotionally unavailable women for quite some time. At this point, it might be time to take a look at yourself and question what's leading you to choose these types of women.
It could be that one of your parents was emotionally unavailable, and distance feels comfortable. Maybe you self-sabotage and attract toxic relationships because you don’t believe you deserve a healthy relationship or love."
8. She makes zero effort
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She never bothers with any attempt to get to know you better or get closer. She doesn't think you're worth the effort.
Dr Lyon continued, "She rejected you, and it hurts. Even if she said or did some things that were objectionable, that doesn’t make it ok for you to criticize, blame, or judge her. Take the high road. Try to understand her perspective and how she may be feeling. As tempting as it may be to blame her for the rejection or try to make her feel guilty about it, don’t do it!"
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