Shhh, Here's The #1 Secret Most Happy Couples Won't Tell You

Here's one thing that the happiest couples do — and you can start it tonight!

happy couple laughing Vulp / Shutterstock

In an expansive relationship survey of more than 100,000 people, researchers asked couples to rate their happiness and satisfaction in bed.

Then they dug deep to find out what the happiest couples have in common.

The research, released in the 2013 bestseller The Normal Bar, is a fantastic guide to what makes happy couples tick.

Here's one fact we found fascinating: Of the "extremely happy couples," 74 percent had one thing in common.


It has nothing to do with body shape or frequency of sex. It is actually a very easy thing to add to your relationship to improve your happiness, deepen your intimacy and improve your sex life. 

Ready for the big secret?

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Yeah, it's not a big mystery, really: We're talking about the good, old-fashioned back massage. 


That's right, almost three-quarters of the couples who were extremely happy regularly give back massages to each other.

As sex educators, we focus as much on massage as we do on foreplay techniques and other sexual skills.

That is because we know how important massage is to a relationship.

We believe that if you are going to learn one skill to improve your relationship and have a better sex life, full body massage is the best skill to learn.

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How massage improves your relationship

Why does something as simple as a back massage make such a difference in your relationship?

First, massage is love in action. When your partner spends their time and attention focused on giving you the pure pleasure of massage, you feel loved and cared for.


Nothing brings a couple closer than a regular practice of lavishing one another with skilled, pleasurable touch.

The second reason massage is great is that it helps slay stress.

Stress is the enemy of your sex life. Stress kills your libido, drains your energy, and ultimately makes you miserable.

Sharing a massage with your lover is an effective and efficient way to destress at the end of your day while spending quality time together. Less stress means more pleasure, a higher sex drive and a better sex life.

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Massage and the power of touch

Finally, back massage is one of the most luxurious and pleasurable experiences of full-body touch.


The skin-on-skin contact of back massage releases feel-good hormones that contribute to your overall wellness and happiness.

Back massage brings health and joy into your daily life together. Imagine being able to afford to go to the spa three times a week for a great massage.

Do you think you'd be happier and healthier? Now imagine getting the same quality massage from your lover at home anytime you wish. What could be better?


Sharing a massage with your lover doesn't isn't hard.

You don't need to set aside an hour at a time or buy any expensive equipment. Simply commit to learning a few massage techniques and let your instinct take over.

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The Pleasure Mechanics is a team of sex educators and touch experts dedicated to providing people around the world with the tools and strategies they need to experience maximum sexual pleasure.

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