6 Rare Signs A Wife Is Still Obsessed With Her Husband After Years Of Marriage
By 'obsessed,' we mean still wildly in love.
Olena Yakobchuk / Shutterstock This statistic might come as no surprise to anyone who pays attention to such things: According to the U.S. Census Bureau, only 35 percent of marriages last at least 25 years.
In fact, many marriages in the United States are caput by their eighth year, which is the most recently available average duration for a marriage in the U.S.
A quarter-century of marriage is a nice, round, silver milestone for a devoted couple. It shows they're committed to the enterprise if nothing else.
If you are the optimistic sort, a 25-year marriage might also indicate that the participants remain somewhat fond of one another. You might even call it love.
And then there is the extreme side of marital devotion. It might feel like a marital myth, but there really are spouses out there who are absolutely crazy, head-over-heels obsessed with their long-time partners.
These preternaturally content human beings have managed to hold on to that elusive honeymoon spark — the "juice" that lubricated the original bond — despite many years of ups and downs and potential boredom and burned suppers and diaper changes.
How, though? What's the secret to maintaining that initial burst of "obsession" that inexorably draws a woman to a man and vice-versa? To find out, we checked in with a panel of YourTango relationship experts. They shared insight into the signs that a woman is still obsessed with her husband after many years together.
Here are six rare signs a wife is still obsessed with her husband after many years of marriage:
1. She still expresses enthusiasm and shows exuberance toward him
If her face lights up when he calls, she still misses him when he’s gone for the weekend and she still makes an effort to woo him ... she might still be obsessed with her husband. When she talks about doing something amazing she includes her husband in the story. She speaks highly of him — and enthusiastically initiates sex.
- Erika Jordan, love coach, NLP
2. She still looks at him in that 'special way'
A surefire sign that a wife is still obsessed with her husband (in a good way) is the way she looks at him. She is fully present when they speak to one another, establishing good eye contact and listening deeply to what he has to say.
She enjoys being with him and looks for opportunities to spend quality time together. She laughs and generally delights in him. She still seeks his touch, whether affectionately, sensually, or sexually. She speaks highly of him and his actions to her girlfriends.
She feels upset if they have a spat and quickly engages him to work through the problem and reconnect. She expresses gratitude for and to him.
- Mary Kay Cocharo, licensed marriage and family therapist
3. She still feels like he's 'hers' exclusively
When a hot sexy woman approaches a couple, does the wife grab her husband's arm? Does she close ranks and walk closer? Does she touch his body in some way? That's a wife still crazy about her husband and it never fails! It's an unconscious blocking technique and they do it in seconds without thinking.
- Susan Allan, founder, the Marriage Forum Inc.
4. She still enjoys surprising him with small gestures
It's the small favors and sweet gestures that are given as a surprise. She brings a cup of fresh, hot coffee when he is working intensely. She comes gently asking for a hug when least expected. She is kind and loving a few minutes after some hot arguments. All spontaneous, genuine expressions of a deep well of a subconscious, loving fundamental position.
- Fritz George Sauer, author and expert in science-based stress management
5. She still listens to his stories, even though she's heard them many times
Signs that a wife is still obsessed with her husband after all these years: Whenever she goes out of town, she thinks about what might make him happy and picks him up a little gift. She listens to his stories intently, even though she has heard them a dozen times before.
- Marla Martenson, matchmaker, life coach
6. She is still mentally stimulated by him
Technically, obsessive behavior is associated with varying degrees of mental health disorders. But, in this instance, a prolonged obsession, either in thoughts or behaviors, is not meant to be an impairment. It is, rather, an expression of desire, appreciation, and even inspiration.
In other words, we are giving obsession an additional meaning that is delightfully healthy.
What are the signs? There are many for both wives and husbands. Sexually, their bodies easily ignite with desire or passion whenever the environment is right. This doesn’t wear off. It continues to get more and more delicious with time. Mentally, think "muse." The mental stimulation from sharing experiences, ideas, and new creations is amplified by the close connection the partners have.
This results in excitement to share, get feedback, and co-create. This manifests with the wife or husband wanting to go to their partner first before sharing with anyone else. Physically the husband and wife feel safe, comfortable, at ease, and in flow with each other. Any observer, whether a stranger or close friend can see it and even feel it.
They are not exhibiting any variation of attachment. They are thriving on the quality of their presence with each other. This does not wear off because it comes naturally without demand or neediness. If you are wondering what this looks and feels like, all of us have been in a restaurant and observed the joyful connection of a couple sitting at another table. It’s so powerful it literally lifts our own moods.
Carter Gaddis is the senior editor for Experts and Wellness with YourTango.