12 Signs He's Not In Love With You — He's Toxic And Obsessed

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Is He Obsessed With Me? 12 Signs Of Obsession Vs Love
Heartbreak

The line between horror movie level obsession and rom-com style infatuation is dangerously thin.

In the weird world of TV and movies, obsession often sounds oddly romantic.

Many well known "romantic" comedies revolve around a storyline in which a moderately attractive guy shows his "love" for a woman in what we're meant to think are simply awkward ways that continuously backfire on him. But when you really consider his actions objectively, his behavior looks far more like an unhealthy obsession than they do healthy expression of sincere love.

To be honest, horror movies probably offer a more realistic take on obsession than most rom-coms do.

Obsession isn’t cute. It’s not charming, it’s terrifying, And while someone who is obsessed with you rather than in love with you may not be any more likely to end up wearing your skin as a suit than he is to become your plucky, adorable husband, letting him get too close could come with some devastating potential consequences.

RELATED: 12 Types Of Toxic Men That Wreak Havoc On Your Emotions

The problem is that Is can be difficult to recognize the difference between obsession vs. love when you don't know what to look for.

If you want to avoid falling for an obsessive, dangerous guy, here are 12 signs someone is seriously obsessed with you to watch for:

1. He knows things about you that you've never told him.

Does he know where you were with friends, despite you never telling him?

If he’s regularly stalking your Facebook or reading your emails without your knowledge, it’s obsession. Normal people do not need to know every little detail of your life.

2. He tries to intimidate other guys to keep them away from you.

Sometimes, guys are overt about this. Other times, the only reason you’ll know is because the guys he tried to scare off will approach you in private or suddenly bail.

If he’s doing this, you need to stay away from him. It’s clear he’s looking to control you, and that is never an indicator of love.

RELATED: If A Guy Does These 5 Things, He's Trying To Keep You Trapped In A Toxic Relationship

3. You’ve caught him lingering around places you go, without any reason other than to see you.

Acting like a stalker who sees you as a subject of surveillance is a violation of healthy boundaries. This is a sign of unhealthy obsession, and it is not cute.

If he wants to see you, he should be capable of saying that and making plans with you like a mature adult.

4. He doesn’t seem capable of taking no for an answer.

If you’ve repeatedly told him that you’re not interested, but he doesn’t seem to get it, he might just be a jerk.

If he keeps trying, despite months of disinterest, he might be obsessed with you.

5. He tries to make it impossible for you to leave him.

Yep, this is a form of abusive obsession.

If you need help making a safe plan to leave, you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or by texting LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474.

6. People you know regularly call him "your stalker."

This might be a joke, but there’s no laughing matter in the message they’re sending you.

What they’re saying is that his behavior around you is obviously obsessive and concerning.

7. He seems to know you, but you don’t really know him.

A guy who’s genuinely in love with you will be someone who you know well, too. You’ll know he has a thing for anime, or Game of Thrones, or sushi. You’ll know where he works and where he hangs out. This is because he took the time to know you and fall for you as you were also taking the time to get to know and fall for him.

A guy who’s obsessed with you will likely know a lot about you, while you may not know much about him at all. In fact, it’s more than likely that you only may know him as "that weird guy."

8. He showers you with attention even when you ask him not to.

Even when you’ve made a point of telling him you're not interested, he’s sending you daily love notes, calling you all the time, and basically trying to monopolize your time.

If you notice he's doing this along with other behaviors mentioned on this list, it may not be plain infatuation, it may be obsession.

RELATED: What Men Are Thinking When They Shower You With Compliments Early On

9. You get the feeling that he’s in love with the idea of you rather than the real you.

From personal experience, I can tell you that a man who’s into the idea of being with a Manic Pixie Dream Girl-type is more likely to be obsessed than he is to actually be in love with the real you.

10. You feel like he's suffocating you.

He’s decided that he must be with you, he must be near you, and he must treat you a certain way, regardless of what you've said you want.

You feel trapped because he doesn’t seem to feel like he’ll be okay without you. It’s surprisingly scary and smothering to be the subject of someone's toxic obsession.

11. He’s irrationally jealous.

If he gets explosive and snippy when he hears you talking to other guys, it could be because he's obsessed and doesn't want anyone else to have you.

If he loves you, he should respect you and trust you to decide who you want to spend time with.

12. He's actually quite delusional.

Most of the stuff he tells you he's thinking doesn’t seem to make sense — and if it does, it's only in a warped, weird way.

This is another sign he’s delusional and obsessive about you, rather than actually in love with you.

RELATED: If Your Guy Does These 6 Things, He Isn't In Love With You — He's Obsessed

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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey. She writes primarily about lifestyle, food, finance, and relationships. You can follow her on Twitter.

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