Questions Guys Ask Themselves About Relationships (According To A Guy)

When you know what he's thinking, the rest is easy.

couple smiling in the sun, woman makes a peace sign Svitlana Sokolova /

When you first meet a guy you like, surely you have questions about what he wants.

You want to know if he's serious about having a relationship.

Does he want children? What are his long-term plans?

While these are important questions, they're not the first questions on the man's mind.

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Here are the three questions he's asking himself — and you're not even aware of it!


1. Can she banter with me?

For a man, a relationship begins with the ability to talk in a playful, non-logical way. It's often a running joke that gets you started when speaking to each other in the first place.

Banter is a creative way for men to discover who you are. Men love a mysterious woman who slowly unfolds, so he can decide if he wants to continue to court you.

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2. Is she fun?

Simply put, it has to be fun to be with you. You may think this is overly-simplistic when looking for a relationship, but in order for a man to see a long-term relationship, he has to know that it's fun being with you.


Men are practical romantics. Banter and fun lead them into a serious relationship.

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3. Does she make me a better man?

Men marry virtue. Men marry women who make them better men. Encourage this by allowing a man to court you and win you over.

When he finds himself doing things he wouldn't ordinarily do for the sake of winning your heart, you've awakened his desire to be a better man.

Men fall in love when they give. Courtship is when a man discovers he's in love with you.

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Guys are not complex beings. Once they have what they want, then the deal is sealed.


A guy is looking for playful banter that creates a new world for the two of you. It doesn't need to be logical, it just needs to reflect that the two of you are on the same wavelength, so to speak.

When you're having fun, you can get you through anything. Laughter is a good sign it's fun to be with you.

When a man finds himself inspired to be a better man because you let him court you, all your relationship questions will be answered with a resounding, "Yes, I do."


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James Allen Hanrahan is an author, speaker, and highly sought after dating and relationship coach. He helps individuals navigate love and relationship through his unique coaching program.

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