11 Phrases Brilliant Women Know Make Men Feel Understood
Making sure the man in your life feels understood by you is critically important.
ORION PRODUCTION / Shutterstock When it comes to connecting with the men in our lives, whether it's your partner, brother, friend, or that coworker who always seems a little on edge, sometimes it's less about what we say and more about how we say it.
You know those moments when a conversation could go either way? Maybe he's had a rough day, or he's trying to explain something he's passionate about, or he's just being... well, a guy. Some ladies just know how to make men feel seen and appreciated. The right words at the right time can be the difference between him shutting down or actually opening up. It's not about being manipulative or fake. It's about genuinely meeting someone where they are and showing them you get it, even when you might not completely get it yet.
These are 11 phrases brilliant women know make men feel understood
1. ‘It’s not easy when you don’t have that social support’
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One of the most common complaints I hear from the men in my group of friends is how hard it is to be a man. It’s not because of the social expectations, per se. The big struggle most men have is their lack of a social support network.
Men are socialized to avoid talking things out. In some circles, showing emotional anguish, sadness, vulnerability, or grief can be seen as being weak. The male loneliness epidemic is real, especially when it comes to the friendships that would typically help men survive tough times in life.
Research shows that 50% of all men are at risk of experiencing social isolation. Acknowledging that as a woman is a big deal, and he will absolutely feel seen after hearing that.
2. ‘I know men get judged for being vulnerable, but I want you to know that I’m not judging you’
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In our society, men are often expected not to show vulnerability or sadness. This is doubly true when it comes to opening up about their feelings in front of women.
Most men are terrified of being judged by women for showing their soft sides. So they don’t do it. If a guy trusts you enough to be vulnerable around you, a little praise for opening up can go a long, long way.
3. ‘You’re right to feel that way’
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Did you ever have a moment when you questioned whether you’re overreacting? Most of us have. Men experience that, too! And in many cases, they may doubt themselves when they want to speak up about grievances in their lives because society has normalized the quiet suffering of men.
Validating a man’s feelings is the easiest way to make him feel seen and loved. If you really want to make him feel understood, offer examples on why he’s right to feel that way.
4. ‘I appreciate you’
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Speaking as someone who has a ton of male friends, I can say with confidence that most women grossly underestimate how much men desperately want to get compliments from women. Men often feel unappreciated and unseen. Some even get resentful over it.
Giving a man a genuine moment where you tell him you appreciate him as a person is a huge deal.
5. ‘She’s not good enough for you’
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Most women have experienced a horrible relationship where they were mistreated, neglected, or flat-out abused. Guess what. Men experience that too. It’s just that men are less likely to say anything about it because of the stigma that comes with being a male victim of abuse.
Many of the best men out there don’t realize they’re great catches. That’s why one of the most caring things you can do as a man’s friend is tell him when he’s being mistreated or if he’s dating a bad pick. Just make sure you emphasize that you’re telling him this as a friend, so he doesn’t get the wrong idea.
6. ‘You’re more than just a paycheck and a workhorse’
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Almost every guy I’ve spoken to has felt like he had to produce something or work hard to prove his value to other people. It’s tragic because the men who feel this way the most are often the most emotionally wounded. They also tend to be genuinely great human beings.
Men often feel objectified by the expectations society foists on them. It’s almost as if we “grade” men based on their careers, earnings, looks, and social status. Sometimes, men just need to hear that they aren’t just a bank account, a collection of status symbols, or an ATM.
7. ‘You don’t have to have it all figured out right now’
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Men often feel like they have to be the take-charge leaders of any situation, including situations that are incredibly difficult to navigate. Sadly, our society often seems to push that expectation of men coming in to “save the day” a little too much.
Even the best guys can’t always be a knight in shining armor. When men feel like they’re not doing enough or not capable of fixing a problem, it stresses them out. It’s important to remind them that some things can only be handled one day at a time… or even with a professional’s help.
8. ‘Wait, have I got this right?’
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Most men I know rarely have people actively listen to them outside of work. They expect others to casually listen to what they have to say, if they even get that much. They’re not used to being treated like “the star” or main focus in a conversation.
That’s why any type of question that involves you actively listening to them, hearing them out, and getting a full grasp of a situation tends to work well with men. It lets them feel heard…because, well, they are being listened to.
9. ‘Do you need a little space?’
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Unlike women, who tend to ask for social support during tough times, men tend to want to unwind through solo activities. Sometimes, they blow off steam through gymming. At other times, it’s video games or woodworking.
When a man needs space, the worst thing you can do to him is chase him around and ask him to open up. However, that seems to be one of the most common things women do when they’re worried about a guy or when they hear him say he needs space.
If you absolutely must do something while he’s in that “solo mood,” give him a plate of food or a drink.
10. ‘That’s terrible’
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Regardless of what gender you are, there are always going to be times when you are going to feel tested. Most of the time, men don’t really talk about their struggles because of the stigma that comes with being seen as a vulnerable man.
In many cases, men don’t need suggestions on how to fix things. They just need to have someone tell them that their struggles are legit and that it’ll be okay eventually.
11. ‘Thank you’
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Finally, let’s be honest for a minute. It takes a lot of work to be a good man in this foul world. Decent men are the ones who generally act as the spine of society. They’re the ones who work thankless jobs, volunteer themselves in difficult situations, and work on bettering themselves and others around them.
Sadly, we often take men like that for granted. That’s why the best way to make a man feel understood and seen is to show gratitude for the things he does. Those two words mean more than you’d ever believe to caring, decent men.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
