People Who Are Emotionally Independent In Relationships Often Share These 11 Rare Traits
Look Studio / Shutterstock When we are in a relationship, it can be easy to become emotionally dependent on our partner. In many cases, depending on someone else too much can be unhealthy. While it’s important to give our all to a relationship, it’s also key to prioritize ourselves.
There is a healthy way to be dependent on a partner. It’s a way to form a healthy bond, mutual trust, and reliance. However, it’s not ideal to rely on someone else for everything. Independence in a relationship allows comfort in solitude. When you are comfortable in yourself, you can curate a healthier dynamic. We all go through rough patches in our relationships. Being emotionally independent allows each person to control their own happiness rather than relying on a relationship. It can make the partnership mature. Emotional independence can come more easily to people with certain traits.
People who are emotionally independent in relationships often share these 11 rare traits
1. They are confident
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If someone has a high level of confidence, it may be easier for them to be emotionally independent in a relationship. They know that their partner is an asset to their life, not the center of their universe. They are proud of who they are. It’s easier for them to find happiness in themselves. They may not need the constant validation from a partner that emotionally dependent people rely on.
Emotional independence makes people resilient. When they are secure in who they are, they can have a healthier relationship. It’s not always easy to be emotionally independent in a relationship, but a rare person makes it look easy.
2. They are emotionally mature
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Emotional maturity can change the dynamic of a relationship. If someone struggles with their emotions, arguments may be common. It’s natural to feel things in a relationship, but getting caught up in the drama can be overwhelming. Lacking emotional maturity can make everything feel more intense than it actually is. Someone with the rare trait of emotional maturity can overcome this.
Emotional maturity in a relationship can bring more overall peace. Since an emotionally mature person can take accountability for their actions, they can solve problems more easily. It’s not an easy skill to master, but it can make for a more emotionally independent and regulated relationship.
3. They are clear communicators
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In relationships, so much can get lost in translation. There are different communication types. It’s not uncommon for two people to be on different pages. When someone has the rare trait of communicating clearly, they may be more emotionally independent in a relationship. They always know where their partner is in the relationship because they communicate well. They understand each other, which makes them able to trust one another.
"Assertive communicators express themselves clearly, allowing others to know where they stand without having to guess. They take responsibility for how they feel and their actions and don’t cave in when others try to control or manipulate them," says Stephanie Catella, PsyD. "While this approach can be initially uncomfortable to adopt, in the long run, assertiveness allows others to know where they stand. The productive outcome of this is that others are less anxious to open up to them, as they don’t have to worry about outbursts or payback later, facilitating more collaborative, open, and clear communication and healthier relationships."
4. They are self-aware
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Self-aware people know who they are. They stand strong in their beliefs and individuality. This trait can allow someone to be more independent in relationships. They know what they are capable of on their own. They do not need to rely on someone else to boost their self-esteem. A self-aware person stays true to themselves. This trait may make them enjoy their relationship rather than rely on it.
Someone who is not self-aware may struggle to figure out who they are outside of their relationship. Instead, they rely on their partner for everything from their emotional well-being to their self-esteem.
5. They have patience
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Having patience in a relationship is important. Allowing your partner to be themselves without getting overwhelmed by their behavior is not always easy. Let’s face it, the person you love can get on your nerves. When someone has patience with their partner, they are emotionally independent. They do not let things get under their skin. They navigate with their feelings and do not take them out on their partner.
Losing your patience in a relationship can be detrimental. It can control your emotions. Whether you realize it or not, your emotions depend on how your partner acts. When someone is patient, they have greater emotional independence. The person they love isn’t going to hijack their emotions with their behavior.
6. They are deep thinkers
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When someone has emotional independence, they have high emotional intelligence. Also known as emotional quotient (EQ), they are connected to deep thinking. Someone who brings emotional independence to a relationship thinks through their emotions. Not only do they connect with their own thoughts and feelings, but they can also better understand the feelings of those around them.
Thinking deeply can help them prioritize their own emotions. They can look at things with a clearer head. Instead of letting an argument bother them, they can let it go to improve the situation. They can also find confidence in themselves, not from their partner’s emotional response.
7. They are respectful
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Emotionally independent people may be more respectful. They have control of their feelings. Instead of lashing out, they can hold their tongue. They do not want to bring others down. It can be easier for them to emotionally regulate. They not only respect themselves, but they also value the emotions of the people they care about.
It’s not always easy to remain emotionally independent. Sometimes, it’s easier to depend on their partner, and when things go downhill during an argument, it can get stressful. Instead, emotionally independent people are respectful. They never meet arguments with low blows. Instead, they can keep calm and respectful in times of conflict.
8. They have a strong sense of identity
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Knowing who they are deep down is one of the major assets emotionally independent people have. They do not need their partner to help them form their opinions. They are confident in who they are. They need to be the same person in the relationship as they are outside it.
"Accepting yourself for who you are can be an important element for building a strong sense of self. Understanding that no perfect human being exists and that everyone makes mistakes at times can also strengthen your sense of self," says Joslyn Jelinek, LCSW, ACSW, RDDP, for Psych Central. With this sense of self, they can be independent emotionally in a relationship while still finding joy and comfort in their partner.
9. They are supportive
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Support in a relationship is important. It allows two people to feel seen and loved. Bringing love to the other person’s life is something they value. However, being emotionally independent comes along with the supportive trait. Sometimes, whether we mean to or not, we get caught up in other people’s emotions. We want to be there for our partners, but it isn’t easy when the weight of their problems weighs on us.
Being emotionally independent allows someone to be supportive without letting the other person’s pain bring them down. This doesn’t mean that they lack empathy. They can disconnect their own emotions from their partners to be there for them and remain strong. They can be there for their partner without facing burnout.
10. They are level-headed
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Anxiety affects all of us. It’s not easy to keep our cool when things are difficult. Being emotionally independent allows people to maintain a level head. They can feel secure in their relationships without overthinking. Having emotional independence means their partner doesn’t get inside their head. They look at things with a clear mind.
Staying calm in moments of anxiety allows them to maintain a happy relationship. They can center themselves and meet the situation with an open mind. Their feelings do not depend on another person.
11. They are adaptable
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Being adaptable isn’t easy for everyone. I know I can struggle with this. I get set in my ways and can be reluctant to change. Someone who is emotionally independent may have an easier time adapting to changes. Let’s say their partner got a new job and works long hours. They rarely have time to see them anymore. This could be a deal-breaker for some, but someone who is emotionally independent tries their best to adapt to new situations.
Adaptable people are emotionally intelligent. They know that something isn’t going to be the end of the world. Instead, they work through their problems. They can be flexible in their relationships because they are emotionally independent.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
