Now Hiring: Husbands Who Get It (Immediate Openings Nationwide)
Do you love spreadsheets and scheduling? Read on!
Ron Lach | Canva Are you a go-getter who can independently make task lists, set priorities, and execute projects without being micromanaged? Do you love solving daily logistical puzzles? Does the prospect of managing multiple schedules excite you? If you answered yes to all of the above, we encourage you to apply.
The position will include extensive research on a broad variety of topics, including but not limited to: childcare providers, date night options, freezer meals, vacation destinations, children’s shoes, and fourth-wave feminism. Husbands Who Get It will be expected to regularly engage in both secondary and primary research, leveraging online resources as well as Facebook groups and text chains. To track your research and compare the pros and cons of each option, a working knowledge of Excel or Google Sheets is required.
Photo: Canva Pro Photos Collection.
Problem-solving skills are essential for this position. A typical problem-solving scenario might involve Child A, who must be at school by 8 a.m.; Child B, whose daycare doesn’t open until 9 a.m.; and Partners A and B, who are both expected to start work by 8:30 a.m. Problem-solving skills are also critical for figuring out how to pay for said daycare and also pay your mortgage.
The job will include a diverse array of menial tasks (see Appendix A), to be completed daily, weekly, monthly, or as needed. You are expected to be able to define “as needed” without assistance and to complete said tasks without oversight of any kind. If you require ongoing recognition or rewards for fulfillment of these basic duties, or if your definition of “doing laundry” does not involve folding it, you may not be a good fit for this position.
A basic understanding of electrical, plumbing, or HVAC systems is a plus, but even more important is the ability to recognize when a project is beyond your scope of expertise. You will be expected to locate and manage a dedicated team of independent contractors to call upon as needed.
Husbands Who Get It must have strong communication skills and be enthusiastic about giving and receiving constructive feedback. It should be noted that disappearing into the bedroom or “going out” for an undisclosed amount of time is not considered constructive feedback.
Additionally, if you typically respond to feedback by employing words or phrases such as “nag,” “martyr,” or “I don’t get it,” you may not have what it takes to be a Husband Who Gets It.
Immediate openings are available nationwide. It has been reported that several husbands are currently on probation and expected to be dismissed shortly. We expect high demand for this position on an ongoing basis.
To apply, please upload a resume, along with a cover letter outlining your system for identifying which children need new socks and when, as well as your research methodology for arriving at said system. Please also include at least three work samples, including a to-do list, grocery list, and packing list.
We are an equal opportunity employer, meaning that partners who are matched with Husbands Who Get It may finally have equal opportunities.
Kerala Taylor is an award-winning writer and co-owner of a worker-owned marketing agency. Her weekly stories are dedicated to interrupting notions of what it means to be a mother, woman, worker, and wife. She writes on Medium and has recently launched a Substack publication Mom, Interrupted.