Men Who Stay Madly In Love For Decades Usually Do These 11 Small Things
Big love survives on small habits.
DOSRPHOTOGRAPHY | Shutterstock Marriages between men and women involve many nuances and complexities that affect the relationship's longevity, quality, and overall well-being. A study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology shows men prioritize physical intimacy and affection, while women mainly desire emotional bonding. Of course, every marriage and partner looks different. Still, men who stay madly in love for decades usually do these small things — balancing big things like emotional intimacy, with little acts of love and respect.
When partners stop paying attention to small things and neglect these little moments, it’s more harmful to their relationship than they might realize. Partners feel unheard, unhappy, and consistently overlooked in favor of work, family, or personal responsibilities. To build lasting and strong marriages, it’s often the small, everyday moments that make the biggest difference, alongside the bigger efforts.
Men who stay madly in love for decades usually do these 11 small things:
1. They actually listen
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Men who stay madly in love for decades know how to balance expressing their emotions and thoughts, while also being patient and actively listening to their partners. Couples that are more mindful, present with each other, and active when listening in any kind of conversation boast higher rates of relationship satisfaction than those who don’t.
They’re not only affectionate and loving with their partner, they’re great listeners in the hard moments — navigating conflict, conversing out of rough patches, and resolving arguments before they transform into disconnection and resentment.
2. They keep their word
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Whether it’s showing up on time, being reliable, or keeping commitments, men who stay madly in love for decades usually keep their promises. They don’t urge their partners to worry about if they’re going to show up — literally or emotionally — and when they prioritize mutual respect above everything else.
Like a study from the International Psychogeriatrics journal argues, mutual respect and the growth of wisdom between couples throughout their relationship is the key to maintaining longevity.
Whether that’s keeping promises, offering them space to express their emotions, or simply showing up on time, it’s a combination of these things and a sense of reliability that supports long-term health in a marriage.
3. They give genuine compliments
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Men who stay madly in love for decades usually do several things, but expressing affection, actively pursuing their partner — no matter how long they’ve been together — and giving compliments are some of the little actions that make a big impact.
Considering that their partner’s attractiveness is generally more important for men in marriages, especially with age, giving compliments, connecting on a deeper level, and continuing to maintain an attraction are part of the reason they stay together for so long.
Attractiveness isn’t just about physical attraction or “beauty” by certain standards, either; it’s a combination of physical and emotional intimacy that partners must harness and practice to cultivate.
4. They pitch in when life gets heavy
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Most healthy relationships that stand the test of time are not consistently 50/50 between partners in any capacity within their lives. From household chores to childcare responsibilities and even emotional labor, the couples that stay madly in love for decades know how to share the load when one person needs extra help.
Whether it’s doing extra chores on a day when their partner isn’t feeling well or cultivating an emotional safe space when their wife is feeling overwhelmed, they know how to step up and ease their suffering without being asked.
5. They keep growing as individuals
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According to a study from the Journal of Family Psychology, a healthy marriage can boost self-esteem, cultivate better mental and physical health, and help people to grow and evolve personally. But, the opposite is also true — partners who prioritize their wellbeing, stability, emotional intelligence, and growth show up as their best selves in their marriages, promoting its health, as well.
That’s why men who continue to personally challenge themselves and evolve stay madly in love for decades — they know how to show up, not just for their partners, but for themselves, too.
6. They say 'thank you'
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Even if it’s something as simple as saying “thank you” for little things, expressing gratitude regularly with a partner has the power to boost personal well-being and mental health, while also supporting and stabilizing a long-term relationship or marriage.
Men who stay madly in love for decades usually do these small things. They never miss an opportunity to express thanks to their partner or step back and consider all the beautiful things they have during a rough patch. It gives them perspective, encouraging them to invest time, energy, and love into their relationships even when they’re drained or disconnected.
7. They cheer on their partner's dreams
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Whether it’s picking up the slack when their partner needs extra time, encouraging them to set lofty goals, or celebrating them when they succeed, great men know that their relationship grows and deepens when their partners focus on themselves.
They contain their jealousy and work through the envy that’s often natural for partners who struggle with insecurity in the face of their partner’s success — putting their marriage and their partner’s wellbeing above all.
They’re there to support their partners no matter what — even after an argument or amid a rough patch, nobody in their relationship is concerned that the other won’t show up.
8. They admit when they’re wrong
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According to experts from the Center for Couples Counseling, taking responsibility for your actions and accountability for mistakes isn’t always comfortable, especially for people who already struggle with internal stability, insecurity, and confidence.
Even if they’re in their closest relationships, they may find it hard to be vulnerable enough to let their shortcomings or perceived flaws come to the surface, but in the end, it’s this behavior that builds trust and connection.
Men who stay madly in love for decades usually do these small things — they admit when they’re wrong, apologize often and genuinely, and express themselves without filters. Another study from the Journal of Religion and Health argues that this forgiveness not only bolsters relationship satisfaction, but it also decreases anger, resentment, and frustration in both the people seeking and offering it.
9. They make time for each other to connect
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Many couples who’ve been together for decades may spend a ton of time together, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they boast a healthy relationship or a ton of quality time. Quality time, according to psychologist Mark Travers, is all about undivided attention, being present, and cultivating a safe space for open conversations.
So, if a man is scrolling on his phone next to his wife or getting distracted when they’re having a conversation, that’s no quality time. In fact, it’s directly the opposite, making his partner feel dismissed and unheard in significant ways.
Whether it’s a planned date centered around newness or a relaxing evening without phones in the living room at home, men who stay madly in love for decades usually prioritize quality time over quantity with their partners. They make it a regular and consistent pattern to seek out this time, even if it means making sacrifices in other areas of their lives and compromises with their partner.
10. They laugh together
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According to a study from the Personal Relationships journal, marital partners who laugh together naturally and regularly in their lives tend to be more satisfied and happy in their relationships than those who don’t. So, while building trust, planning dates, and showing commitment might cultivate the longevity of a marriage, it’s these silly and small moments that truly bond couples together.
Of course, laughing and smiling personally — both with and without your partner around — has it’s own set of benefits, according to a study from the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine. From protecting mental health, to boosting happiness, and even combating certain psychological issues, people who laugh more are well set up for success in life.
11. They speak well of their partner
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Whether it’s to their face in an argument or behind their back with friends and family, men who stay madly in love for decades make an effort to offer their partner the basic intentionality of respect. They never, even amid rough patches or after a hurtful conversation, speak poorly about their partner to people in their lives.
Yes, they seek support and emotional connection with other people, but if they have an issue with their partner, they’re not opting to spread gossip about that instead of talking to them directly. They nurture healthy outside relationships centered around love and connection, not bonding over gossip and weaponized ignorance.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
