If A Man Has These 6 Habits, He's Likely A Low-Value Partner
AaronAmat | Canva Independent women want space to be themselves. We didn't become so independent by accident, after all, and we know what we want. Men constantly attempt to undermine this. Not by opening the door for us or by walking on the street side of the sidewalk.
No, the real things men do to undermine independent women aren't based on politeness, they're based on low-value habits. These habits often have their roots in trying to win some strange ego battle, to prove that women aren't as good or as capable as men. They're rude. They're offensive. They're low-value, and men who exhibit these habits are pretty much guaranteed not to get a quality partner.
If a man has these six habits, he's likely a low-value partner:
1. He decides your restaurant order for you
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Did she ask you to order her food in that swanky French restaurant? If not, you're presuming that you know better than she does, and what she wants to and should eat. You're invading an intimate act to assert your dominance and to show off your knowledge of French food. Maybe she spent a semester abroad in France. Maybe her dad's a French chef. Maybe you simply shouldn't pick what someone else is going to eat.
2. He picks apart your outfit
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Comments about what she should and shouldn't wear impinge on her ability to make her own decisions. She probably doesn't care what you think, anyway. A study in Body Image showed that when people feel criticized by their partner about their appearance, they assume their partner isn't satisfied with how they look. That perception then directly tanks the quality of the relationship for both people involved.
3. He picks apart your body
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Slow it down, cowboy. Body-shaming is body-shaming, and if you're telling your woman to lose a few pounds or work on her arms, you need to check yourself. Independent women are proud of their bodies, no matter what their shape. You're not offering helpful tips; you're being insulting.
Researchers studying couples found that getting criticized about your body weight and shape by your partner increases body dissatisfaction and kills your sense of self-compassion. Women who got negative comments about their bodies also felt way more afraid of being abandoned or rejected, which obviously wrecked the relationship quality.
4. He always picks the movie with zero input from you
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"Hey, we're going to see Captain America" isn't exactly the way to your lady's heart — unless she's also into Captain America, of course. An independent woman wants some say in what flick she'll be watching in a dark room for two to three hours — or even from the comfort of your own couch. Making choices for a woman is a no-no. You need to ask or offer input, or go see the bro movie on your own.
According to research in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, people who actually make decisions together with their partner feel more powerful and way more satisfied with the relationship than people who just decide everything alone. Turns out shared decision-making combines both partners' influence and engagement, so when you're unilaterally picking the movie, you're actively damaging your relationship.
5. He physically guides you where where to go
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This isn't the sweet 'keeping a hand on your back when you walk' move. This is about controlling your moment and asserting dominance over her. This move feels innocuous, but it really feels like you're propelling her somewhere. Keep your hands to yourself, unless you're in a serious relationship — or if consent is explicitly given.
The Journal of Nonverbal Behavior showed that initiating touch gets consistently read as an act of dominance, especially when there's already a power dynamic at play. The person doing the touching is seen as more powerful and higher status than the person getting touched, and that imbalance messes with the relationship by boosting one person's power while shrinking the other's.
6. He never checks who wants to drive
RDNE Stock project / Pexels
Women have always had the right to a driver's license. We don't cause any more traffic accidents than you do. You don't have to worry about an independent woman painting her nails while she negotiates 5th Avenue. It's rude to always assume you'll drive, as if it's a man's prerogative, or as if women wouldn't want to worry their pretty little heads about it. And while you're at it, don't presume we can't drive stick-shift, either.
Independent women want to stay that way — independent. Anything that impinges on that will make her drop you like the low-value partner you are. Because, as an independent woman, I can tell you: These things really suggest you don't see her as an equal partner.
Alissa Scully is a freelance writer and stay-at-home mom. She got her degree in English and spends much of her time teaching freshmen, political activism, and media work.
