11 Psychological Tricks To Make Your Ex Regret Losing You

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Two happy women looking at camera

Breakups almost always come with pain, resentment, and humiliation. When experiencing such gloomy feelings, it can be hard to live peacefully until the ex-boyfriend or girlfriend feels at least a fraction of similar emotions.

And the best way to achieve this small revenge is to make them feel sorry they left. 

Is it possible to make your ex admit they’ve made a mistake when leaving you? After all, it’s so satisfying when they come to apologize and beg you to give them one more chance.

This article will reveal 7 psychological strategies to help you make your ex regret leaving you for someone else and desperately want to get you back.

Let’s dig in.

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Here are 11 tried-and-tested ways to make your ex regret losing you

1. Limit contact with your ex, but stay in sight

Many heartbroken lovers make a common mistake of staying in touch with an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend after a breakup. But why would anyone continue communicating with a person who abandoned them in the first place? Essentially, there are two explanations: they had an amicable breakup, or they’re still not over their ex-partner. The second scenario is probably more common among couples who were together for an extended period.

Why is this such a big deal? When you maintain contact with a romantic partner who dumped you, they know you’re still on the hook. And when something is easy to get, it loses its attractiveness almost entirely.

2. Don't be the backup plan

So, if you want to make your ex-boyfriend regret dumping you or your ex-girlfriend realize she made a mistake, stop wearing your heart on your sleeve. Otherwise, you risk being a backup plan for them after another romantic failure, and that’s not your ultimate goal.

The less contact with your ex right after the split, the better. It applies to phone calls, face-to-face meetings, and texting. But there is one critical nuance. Your former partner will forget you faster if you go under the radar.

Instead, you need them to know about the changes in your life, new activities, and friends. Therefore, do not unfriend them on social media, as it is the fastest way to spread the news.

3. Become a better version of yourself

Be honest about why you think your loved one left you. Maybe you’ve stopped exercising, or you’re wearing pajamas everywhere. Only you know what attracts your partner and why they were fascinated with you in the past. Essentially, any changes for the worse can lead to a breakup. Your partner may say something like, “I don’t recognize you anymore” or “You’re not the same person I used to date.”

The most common reasons for breakup are:

  • Development of annoying or harmful habits
  • Gaining or losing weight
  • Flirting with others
  • Become inattentive or unsupportive
  • Lies and cheating

To bring your loved one back, you can correct specific shortcomings, whether it concerns appearance or behavior (e.g., smoking). For example, if you’re a guy and want to make a girl regret losing you, the popular solution is to improve your looks by grooming and working out. Likewise, women can upgrade their appearance with haircuts, new clothing, and even tattoos.

A change for the better is not only the best way to make your ex want to get back together, but it will also improve your self-esteem and possibly health.

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4. Make them think you’re over them

The storm of emotions that arise after a breakup can affect your behavior for a long time. Your task is not to give in. Many girls or guys stalk their ex after the breakup. They write them angry messages and emails, call them in the middle of the night and throw a fit, which is ugly behavior.

If your end goal is to release negative emotions, perhaps this option will bring you relief. But it is unlikely that any person will feel attracted to someone who cannot control their behavior and is clearly insecure. So what should you do, then?

5. Keep calm and move on

Let’s say you want to make your ex-girlfriend regret leaving you. Show her how composed and calm you are. Even if you’re not in that place right now, pretend you’re okay. Be careful not to go too far with this game. You don’t want to appear too joyful or agitated when you see your ex-girlfriend in the street.

You can’t fool her into believing that you don’t have any bitterness left. So, if she brings up the breakup topic, use the words “disappointed” or “sorry that it didn’t work out.”  They sound as if you thought your relationship would last, but you’re capable of living with your ex’s decision to break up and want to move on with your life.

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6. Get successful

Don’t worry. You don’t have to win a Nobel Prize to make your ex-boyfriend sorry he dumped you. But becoming more successful than you were is undoubtedly an unexpected turn of events. Maybe, your ex has overlooked something in you - an extraordinary talent, for example. The mystery is attractive, and so is a new job or hobby.

What can you do to appear more successful? First, assess your strengths. For example, you may want to start a small business that you have been putting off for a long time for various reasons. 

Are you an expert in some areas? If so, try creating a blog and sharing helpful information with your readers. Even a career transition to a more promising one can make your ex-girlfriend regret losing you or cause your ex-boyfriend to take an interest in your affairs.

How will your ex find out about your achievements? Mutual friends and social media accounts are probably the best options. Your friends will likely mention exciting news to your ex, sometimes purposefully and other times accidentally. Either way, it’ll do the trick.

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7. Expand your social circle

Another way to make your ex-girlfriend regret letting you go is to find new acquaintances and friends. But at the same time, don’t cut ties with existing friends unless they are toxic.

How do you expand your social circle?

The older a person is, the more difficult it is for them to let someone into their personal space. You can start with your work colleagues. For instance, try reducing the distance with a few nice people from your office and suggest going out for coffee after a working day. If appropriate, take a few photos and post them on social media.

But make sure that your companion doesn’t feel pressure on your part. You should be sincere when forming new friendships and not do it merely to show your ex how remarkably you spend time without them.

New friends will bring refreshing experiences and help shift the focus from past relationships to exciting moments of the present.

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8. Evoke a little jealousy

Your ex is probably sure that you’re crying a river after they have left you. Don’t give them such pleasure. Yes, you’re hurt and humiliated, but your ex doesn’t need to know about it. Try to smile more often. Be friendly and good-natured. At first, you will have to convince yourself or even pretend that everything is fine until it eventually becomes a reality.

You want your ex to believe that you aren’t suffering from the breakup and are living happily without them. How can you achieve that? Many people urgently hunt for a new date to make their former romantic partner jealous. However, it’s not always the best practice.

9.  Travel is always an option

For instance, if you start dating the first person passing by, your relationship risks ending faster than your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend finds out about it. If you must have someone by your side, make sure you’re comfortable being around them. 

If you’re lucky to have found a new person interested in you romantically, it will make your ex jealous and increase your self-esteem. At the same time, if you’re leading a single life, add more color to it. Meet with friends, travel, and join the gym. Let your ex see how wonderful and joyful you feel without them.

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10. Enjoy your free life

You probably think, “How can I enjoy life if I constantly think about my ex and have problems with sleep and concentration?” So here’s a counter-question for you - do you enjoy being in this emotional pit, slowly losing your taste for life?” 

Your girlfriend wouldn’t want to return to a pathetic version of you. It’s not sexy. You can only make her regret hurting you if you begin enjoying your life.

Likewise, your fast recovery will puzzle your ex-boyfriend and make him feel intrigued. So, maybe it’s time to change your attitude and start leading a fulfilling life again?

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11. Take care of you 

As long as you hold on to the past, you are emotionally dependent on your ex. You create a situation where other people control your feelings. But you need to flip it the other way around. So start enjoying what you do and who you are. Don’t put on a fake show because your ex will quickly see through you. Instead, do something fun - explore new things such as playing the guitar, painting, and hiking. 

Be kind to yourself and learn to see your inner beauty that your ex didn’t notice. Over time, your positive sides will become visible to everyone around you. And if after that, your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend does not want to return you, they are not worthy of having you and will never make you happy. So, why should you waste your time on them?

One more thing ... 

Your life is not a competition, and you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. If your primary purpose is to get your ex back, the above tips will eventually bring you to your goal. But make sure that your boyfriend or girlfriend loves you and is not just using you as a convenient fallback while looking for a better option.

If you can’t get your loved one back, stop wasting time and start living for yourself.

Once you begin enjoying who you are, you will no longer want to bring back relationships with someone who didn’t appreciate you in the first place.

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Natalie Maximets is a life transformation coach with expertise in clinical and existential psychology.