Make These 5 Changes ASAP If You Feel Him Slipping Away

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unhappy couple

What should you do when the love you felt for your partner starts slipping away?

If you find your relationship dangling at the end of a rope, you C.L.I.M.B. back up, of course!

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I’ve created a 5-step, fool-proof method to help get you back on track. By practicing these behaviors, you'll be on your way to creating a confident and fulfilled relationship.

1. Connect with your partner

The key to a good connection is true intimacy, which means openly and willingly showing your vulnerability. To do this well, you must pay attention and set your intention.

When you pay attention, you have directed and conscious thoughts. When you set an intention, you think before you act. You decide in advance how you want to be and interact with your partner before you walk through the door.

Make a choice today to truly connect with your partner by consistently paying attention and setting the intention to do so, daily.   

2. Love your partner — (even if you don't feel loved back yet)

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It’s true that you can’t make someone else love you…. but you can love themStop waiting for your partner to say "I love you" or behave in a sweet way — by loving yourself first.

Leave your ego at the door. It’s easy to show someone you love them AFTER they do the same. The trick is to remain loving even when your partner is not. Act out brave, loving emotions, not fearful ones.

Jealousy, resentment, hate, depression, anxiety, helplessness, and hopelessness — are all fear-based emotions. Instead, show loving emotions — appreciation, gratitude, patience, compassion, kindness, and generosity. When you’re in love, you feel your life has an abundance. When you’re in fear, you see scarcity everywhere.  

3. Invest 100 percent in your relationship

Let me ask you a question: If you gave only 50 percent of your effort at work, do you expect to get a raise or a promotion? No, of course not. So, my next question is: What do you think giving only 50 percent in your personal relationship will yield?

We often put in a huge effort at work or pour attention and effort into our kids, but then give our partners the dregs of what’s left. Remember, giving 50 percent won’t create the relationship you want, and giving 150 percent is called co-dependency. Give 100 percent, your whole self, to your partner. 

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4. Motivate yourself to nurture your relationship in some way ... every day 

Be enthusiastic when it comes to your partner and relationship. Motivation is a state, not a trait. (Let me repeat that: Motivation is a state, not a trait.) This means that it’s not something permanent like your height or eye color. It’s something that comes and goes.

People aren’t permanently "motivated" or "happy." People are just people. You need to dig deep and chose motivation daily (and, sometimes, even minute-to-minute. Deliberately think of things you love about your partner, or of how you’ll feel when you’re getting along and feel connected though. Use these positive thoughts to fuel your motivation).  

5. Be present in the here and now

Stay present in your moments — don’t dwell on the past or trip on the future. Act consciously in each situation and take it for what it is, not what you think it could or should be.

Remember, your past doesn’t equal your future. Your past equals your present. What you do right now decides your future. No matter what happened to your relationship in the past, tomorrow can be different if you make new, more loving choices today.   

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Dr. Abby Medcalf is a relationship mover and motivational speaker who has been helping couples create happy, connected, and fulfilled relationships for 25 years.