5 Less-Obvious Ways To Keep A Long-Term Marriage Hot

Make your love last long and thrive.

Happily married couple Getty Images | Unsplash

I have been married to my husband for 14 years (we've been together for almost 16). We don't have the hot all-consuming love we had at the start of our relationship, but we do have something far better — a deep understanding and admiration for each other that makes our love life even more intense than when we first got together. We didn't get to this point by accident. It has taken a lot of work and as well as consistent effort on both of our parts.


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Here are 5 less obvious ways to keep long-term relationships hot:

1. Start doing things together

A lot of times — especially in long-term relationships — we start to live our own lives and do fewer and fewer things with our partners. Start doing activities together three to five times a week. Go for a walk, a bike ride, or shop for and cook a meal together once a week. It will bring you closer and give you shared experiences to bond over.

couple spending time together cookingPhoto: Balance Form Creative via Shutterstock


2. Touch each other and do it often

Touch doesn't need to be erotic to draw us closer to our partner. Rub each other's shoulders from time to time. Hold hands when you walk. When we touch each other, it helps us feel more connected to one another.

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3. Be someone your partner will want to spend time with

Put the pestering and criticism aside and be charming, fun, and engaging again — our partners are more drawn to us when we're happy.

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4. Reconnect with each other for at least ten minutes a day

Do it either before you get out of bed in the morning, before you go to sleep at night, or at any other time during the day you can sneak off and have ten minutes of uninterrupted conversation. Power down all of your electronics, make eye contact and just talk. It doesn't need to be serious — just talk about your day and your plans for tomorrow. Have light-hearted chit-chat. It will help stop you from drifting apart from one another, and it will help bring the love back.


5. Act loving even when you don't feel like it

People will always remember how you make them feel. If you don't have loving words to share, loving actions can go a long way, too.

Long-lasting love takes work to keep it thriving. When you take a bit of time each day to focus on the actions of showing love and devotion, your relationship health stays vital.

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Christina Steinorth-Powell, LMFT is a psychotherapist, relationship expert, and the author of three books. Her advice has been featured on Fox News, NBC, CBS, and in publications such as Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Woman's Day, Glamour, and The Chicago Tribune, among many others.