If A Guy Has These 11 High Value Habits You’ve Found A Rare Kind Of Man
This is the kind of guy that you can always count on.
Dmytro Zinkevych / Shutterstock It can be difficult to find a man whom you can rely on. One study predicts that by 2030, 45% of women between the ages of 25 and 44 will be single. And while it's certainly not true that there are no good guys left, if a guy has some specific high-value habits, you've found yourself a rare kind of man.
Of course, some psychologists believe that many people set unrealistically high dating standards, making it difficult to find their ideal person. “Dating is sometimes a difficult and frustrating process. It is easy to feel stuck in a rut, unable to find a good man or woman. Much of the time, however, what seems like a big problem is often just a little ‘quirk’ preventing someone from seeing better opportunities,” says Jeremy Nicholson, M.S.W., Ph.D. You’ll never find your dream man unless you let down your guard and put yourself out there. Going on dates can eventually lead you to the man of your dreams, and if he has certain habits, you’ve found a rare one.
If a guy has these 11 high value habits, you’ve found a rare kind of man
1. He is calm, cool, and collected
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Most of us have dated a man with a short temper. It can be rather common. Men struggle to regulate their emotions due to outdated societal norms. Being told that talking through their feelings makes them weak, men find it difficult to share how they feel and will act out as a result. A man with a short temper can be scary.
If you find a guy who is calm, cool, and collected, you have found a rare one. He doesn’t raise his voice. He stays calm whenever he’s angry. He can talk through his emotions effectively. If he practices this habit, you have found a winner.
2. He is reliable
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Sick of men who always let you down? They never follow through with plans. When you call or text them, they never respond. These habits in a man are a major turn-off. When you find one who is always there and never lets you down, you have landed yourself a rare one.
“A reliable partner offers consistent emotional support, respects individuality, and maintains healthy boundaries. Their unconditional love, combined with emotional intelligence and self-sufficiency, makes them a stable and dependable presence. They do not manipulate or control, but instead foster an environment where both partners can thrive independently while growing together,” writes psychologist Katarina Vuković for Mentalzon. “If you seek a partner embodying these qualities, remember that reliability is cultivated through personal growth, self-awareness, and healthy relationship dynamics. A reliable partner demonstrates these qualities through consistent actions, offering a sense of safety and stability essential for lasting and fulfilling relationships. Reliability is not merely about words; it is about consistent actions that demonstrate care, respect, and commitment.”
3. He can admit when he is wrong
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It’s not uncommon for men to struggle with admitting when they are wrong. It’s hard to break down their egos. They can be quick to blame their partner for all of the issues in their lives. However, when you find a guy who is open to having hard conversations where he takes accountability, you’ve hit the lottery.
A guy who is comfortable enough with himself to understand that he is capable, and often does, make mistakes is rare. One who practices the habit of admitting when he is wrong is special. He allows you to voice your feelings and concerns and listens while you do so. He’s not afraid to apologize, and he often does when he knows he’s made a mistake.
4. He is financially stable
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It’s a difficult economy to live in. The cost of goods is rising steadily, and finding a high-paying job can feel like finding a needle in a haystack. When a man is financially stable, it doesn’t always mean he’s rolling in the dough. A guy who has healthy spending habits and knows when to save is rare to find.
“Financially stable people are less likely to give in to impulse and instant gratification — they know the value of holding off on frivolous purchases because the money is better spent elsewhere in many cases,” Julie Ramhold, a consumer analyst, told HerMoney. “That doesn’t mean they aren’t fun or can’t be spontaneous; it usually just indicates they can do without going overboard.”
5. He makes you feel comfortable
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I know I have dated men who struggled to make me feel comfortable. Whether they were awkward or unwelcoming, it’s a major turn-off. A man who can make you feel at ease is one of the good ones. He cares about how you feel. He wants to make sure they are happy and well cared for.
He also extends this habit to the people in your life. When he’s around your friends, he wants to make sure they are comfortable. He’s constantly putting other people’s needs above his own. He cares deeply about making a positive impact on the lives of others.
6. He shows empathy
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A man with empathy may be hard to find. Society has taught them that they must always look out for their own best interests. A guy who can empathize with others and put himself in someone else’s shoes is rare. He is compassionate and kind. He can make anyone around him feel better.
“The great beauty of male empaths is that they can feel where you are coming from. Some can do this without taking on people’s feelings,” writes Dr. Judith Orloff. “A man’s empathy allows him to love more fully and be more committed in a loving relationship. But empathic men must nurture their sensitivities while also grounding themselves in their power and setting boundaries with negative people so they aren’t drained.”
7. He knows how to listen
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Listening is a skill that some people don’t acquire naturally. It can take time and effort to learn to listen actively to others. Active listening allows the other person to share their feelings without interruption. Of course, you respond when you can, but for the most part, you give the other person the floor. A man who is capable of practicing this habit is special.
You will know you have found a rare man when he allows you to communicate openly. He listens closely. He doesn’t interrupt. He provides commentary when appropriate. Most importantly, he gives you the floor. He doesn’t feel like he has to fix your problems. He genuinely listens to provide you with the care and support you need.
8. He sets goals
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A man who is working towards goals makes you feel secure. He is in the habit of putting things on a to-do list and checking them off. He’s ambitious and smart. He’s always looking to better himself. This type of man is rare, and if you find him, you should hold on to him.
“The importance of goal setting comes from planning and carefully stating the elements that lead to successful outcomes. The benefits of goal setting are varied, including improved performance, increased intrinsic motivation (often due to feeling more in control), and heightened engagement,” says Jeremy Sutton, Ph.D. “Ultimately, goals are a vital source of focus, whether inside or outside coaching and therapy. They keep individuals accountable and offer a powerful tool for self-actualization.”
9. He behaves respectfully
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A guy who is in the habit of respecting women is rare. Showing respect and compassion can be seen as unmanly by other men. There’s a sort of social stigma about being a soft person among other men. Men are not keen on being seen as sensitive. A respectful man isn’t afraid of being kind and thoughtful.
A respectful man will never make you feel bad about yourself. He won’t point out your flaws. He will guide you with kindness. He doesn’t look down on you. He offers genuine respect in conversations. These guys are rare but special.
10. He avoids drama
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No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who thrives in situations of drama. Having constant arguments or issues with the people in his life is a major turn-off. Guys who avoid drama like the plague are the most respectable. They show that they have pure intentions. You never have to worry about them putting you in upsetting situations.
Drama can be a force that pulls people in. There can be some entertainment in having an argument or disliking someone. Guys who are in the habit of avoiding drama don’t think that way. They believe in keeping the peace.
11. He controls his impulses
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A man who is in the habit of controlling his impulses is rare. It can be hard to resist the urge to act out. These guys are trustworthy and respectful to the women in their lives. They don’t live recklessly. They know what their partner needs and ensure they get it.
“Until now, virtually no research has been done on the relationship between self-control and success in the dating market. The work of Pronk and colleagues shows the importance of self-control in interpersonal attraction,” says David Ludden, Ph.D., regarding one study that found the importance of impulse control and romantic relationships. “Those seeking a long-term committed partner need self-control to weed out encounters that are unlikely to pan out, while those seeking multiple short-term partners need self-control to keep on task while pursuing their 'game’.”
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
