How To Tell If Your Boyfriend Loves You Enough To Marry You, Based On His Myers-Briggs

ESTPs are a tricky personality type to nail down.

man and woman flirting Just Life / Shutterstock

Some guys tell you very clearly from the get-go how they feel about you. Others, like your ESTP personality type boyfriend, take their time or communicate in less obvious ways.

So how can you tell if he will ever love you enough to commit to you, or if you're just wasting your time with him?

If you are confused — maybe even exasperated — about whether or not your boyfriend really loves you and will eventually marry you, don't lose hope. It could be that your guy is a member of the world’s most energetic, free-wheeling, easy-going Myers-Briggs personality type: ESTP.


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Loving the energetic, enthusiastic, outgoing ESTP

Personality types, are, as you might have guessed, the typical traits that someone exhibits when they fall into a particular personality category on the Myers-Briggs scale. Some types are more exuberant than others, while some are really helpful, and others are more go-with-the-flow.


The ESTP personality type is one of the more outgoing and free-thinking versions of these types, as it stands for Extravert, Sensing, Thinking, and Perceiving. 

So what does it mean for your chances of commitment if your guy falls into this category?

The typical ESTP is outgoing, observant, analytical, practical, spontaneous, assertive, persuasive, straightforward, and versatile. They learn from doing, and their hallmark is energy.

When it comes to ESTPs and romantic relationships, people of this personality type really like to have fun — and keep their options open.

Beware: Don't confuse sex with love when in a relationship with an ESTP.

He'll be an enthusiastic, attentive lover, but that doesn't mean he's going to put a ring on it. Perhaps of all the sixteen Myers-Briggs personality types, this one is not likely to want to commit until he's fully ready. He might be the oldest one of his friends to settle down because he hasn't yet met Ms. Right, but he certainly won't settle for anyone else.


It's not just that he's always wondering if there is someone better or more exciting for him. It's that he is so loyal when he does commit, he wants it to be forever. If you're pretty sure your man is an ESTP personality type, don't despair.

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Here are five surefire ways to know when your ESTP man has fallen hard for you 

1. He will shower you with gifts

Even though material things matter little to ESTPs, your guy will make sure you have every comfort. Practicality is his middle name, so don’t expect bouquets of flowers. He notices every detail of what you like and what you need.

If he surprises you with a fabulous piece of luggage for your upcoming trip — because your old one is damaged — or a piece of artwork you were admiring at an art show, you'll know he's in it for the long haul.


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2. He will perform random acts of kindness

Because of his varied interests and the energy he gets from connecting with others, this type leads a hectic life. When he takes time out to drop by with steaks to make you dinner after a tough day, or he makes you homemade chicken soup when you're sick, you know you've got a keeper!

These are the ways you'll see that you're never too far from his thoughts, no matter what else he's doing, and that you'll always be in his heart.

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3. He will try to be your superhero

If he is crazy about you, he will do whatever it takes to win your love. This may include leaping over tall buildings! He's the action-oriented, save-the-day type, so that wouldn't be surprising. He handles a crisis easily, and he'll use that talent to save you from a narcissistic parent, a work problem, or a clogged toilet.


Whatever you need, he'll be there for you, and the others who also need him will have to wait in line.

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4. He will be off-balance

If he loves you, you’ll have the ability to keep him on his toes. Most people can't keep up with him, so if you notice him getting uncharacteristically awkward in your presence, know you’re one of the few who can make your charismatic gentleman feel that way.

He’s a risk-taker in all areas ... except love. Getting emotionally vulnerable with you will get the adrenaline going for this excitement junkie. And since he's not the naturally lovey-dovey type, if he gives you a secret nickname or sends you love texts in Italian (because the translation doesn't cut it), you’ll know you've won over his heart for sure.


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5. He will tell you he's committed

If he says he's committed to you, believe him. This guy doesn't mince words. He's to the point and not overly flowery, but he doesn't say things he doesn't mean. If and when he tells you his future is with you, count on it.

If your ESTP boyfriend isn't doing these things, you might just want to outright ask him if you have a future together. He’ll be blunt and brutally honest, but at least you'll have your answer.

If your man does show you these signs, you can breathe a sigh of relief and relax into the relationship. He's going to be around for good. And once in deep and committed to you, his loyalty will outweigh any urge he has for adventure. Enjoy what you've got, because you're in for a fantastic ride.


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Lisa Petsinis is a certified life and career coach who works with burnt-out individuals to reconnect to what matters, find their perfect work, and create more joy, meaning, and success.