High Value Women Who Know Their Worth Immediately Shut Down Disrespectful Men In 11 Clear Ways
Andrej Lišakov | Unsplash Anyone can have a bad day, but disrespectful men seem to have more than others. Maybe they feel insecure or emasculated, or maybe they're just in a bad mood. Either way, high value women know their worth and will shut down a disrespectful man quick.
In order to know whether it's worth the effort, these women address disrespect in a number of different ways by assessing the situation as a whole. When it's a man she loves, she will try to approach him with empathy, but she won't do that forever. Her boundaries are just too strong and knows healthy relationships are built on respect.
High value women who know their worth shut down disrespectful men in 11 clear ways
1. They plan their words before confronting a disrespectful man
Voronaman | Shutterstock
It’s no surprise that there’s an inherent link between our emotions and language. Our ability to vocalize needs, express our emotions, and connect with other people all revolve around language, so choosing the right words when you're going to shut down a disrespectful man can make all the difference in a relationship.
High value women have the emotional intelligence to understand their emotions in the moment and know when their buttons are being pushed (and the problem lies within themselves). That's why they're capable of noticing when a disrespectful partner oversteps.
Then they take a beat, consider their words and how to best respond.
It’s this intentionality that often characterizes a high-value person in their relationships. They know when the problem comes from within and when it's comign from the disrespctful man they're in a relationship with. They’re intentional about language in conversations, crafting routines and habits, and even advocating for themselves in subtle and unsuspecting situations.
2. They address the disrespect with empathy one time only
Krakenimages | Shutterstock
While high-value women do often lead with empathy in their lives, giving grace to people who make mistakes and second chances to people who disrespect them, they’re also very aware of patterns of behavior. They'll address a disrespectful man's behavior once in a compassionate way one time.
But they also recognize when a person is blatantly disrespectful again and again. In these times, they'll protect their own peace first and foremost. They may offer a second chance or work with them to pave a more respectful path forward, but they’re not going to continue tolerating a pattern of similar misbehavior.
3. They don’t react
Fizkes | Shutterstock
According to litigation attorney and communication expert Jefferson Fisher, lots of people are disrespectful on purpose in order to get a reaction out of a partner.
By pausing and considering this disrespectful man's goal, high value women avoid that dramatic reaction. They can then reply in a measured tone, effectively cutting off the drama before he has an opportunity to be satisfied or even thrilled by it.
It’s one of the powerful ways high-value women shut down disrespect. This is an incredibly important thing to do in romantic relationships, otherwise they'll spend a lifetime emotionally draining themselves. By cutting off the drama, they avoid incentivizing these disrespectful men to continue similar behaviors in their presence.
4. They call it out clearly
Dikushin Dmitry | Shutterstock
Yes, a high value woman will use empathy the first time they call out disrespect, but after that, they will be direct and respectful— but very, very clear.
Once it's clear that the disrespect will not be tolerated, a solution will be found. If this man is someone she wants to keep in her life, if he's her husband or the father of her kids, she will try to find a solution. Sometimes that involves working together to break a pattern. Other times it means asking this disrespectful man to make a change.
Experts from Princeton University say that calling in a person who is causing a problem (rather than pushing them out) is a better way to solve the problem.
Making this a conversation, not a lecture, helps high value women find common ground with the men they love, offering understanding and grace. If the relationship is to continue on, the disrespect must stop, but the man can't become an enemy or it just won't work.
5. They walk away and take a break
DIProduction | Shutterstock
Women who know their worth will simply remove themselves from a situation where their partner is disrespecting them. They know their own worth, so they don’t feel pressured to explain themselves, put up a fight, or make excuses for the men in their lives. If someone’s not respecting them, they’ll walk away.
While some people may engage with disrespectful people because they fear being alone, high-value women are internally motivated. They’re not only secure enough to say no and set boundaries, they can walk away from a toxic situation and fulfill their own needs and meet their goals.
Walking away when a man becomes disrespectful or unkind not only ends the dialog, it stops a cycle of push-pull-retreat that can create a seriously toxic relationship. While it may upset their partner when they walk away, high value women know that they're not only protecting themselves, they're protecting the relationship.
6. They flip the script
Anatoliy Karlyuk | Shutterstock.com
Instead of reacting with an equal amount of disrespect, a high value woman asks questions in attempt to help her partner understand how hurtful his behavior is. She has to do this thoughtfully, as it could appear like a "gotcha" to him and elevate the drama even more.
First, she starts by clarifying how the disrespect felt to her. Then, she can say, "Imagine if I said something that made you feel that way. Even if you didn't intend it to come across like that, that's how your statement made me feel. How would you respond in that moment?"
This type of dialog takes the conversation out of a back-and-forth of accusations and offers the couple an opportunity to clarify and find common ground. Hopefuly an apology will soon follow, too.
7. They redirect the conversation
Fizkes | Shutterstock
High-value women often redirect conversations to avoid arguments or defensiveness when it comes to disrespect in public, or when they're just too tired to deal with it in a healthy way. This is incredibly important to do when you're both tired or when you know you're in a bad mood. Instead of letting the mood get to them, these women ignore the disrespect and move on.
It's not always possible to redirect conversations and it isn't healthy to do time after time, as it can cause serious resentment to build. But in those cases, high-value women create space. Whether it’s physical space or metaphorical space, they know when and how to shift energy to ensure everyone is respected.
8. They use assertive language instead of aggressive language
Voronaman | Shutterstock
Intelligence in women often manifests as assertiveness and confidence, two traits that are incredibly important for shutting down disrespect from men in your life. However, assertiveness is also policed at much different rates for women than it is for men. Men are celebrated for their aggression, but women are ridiculed for the same behaviors.
High-value women know how to strike a balance between advocating for themselves with assertive language and protecting themselves from the misguided patriarchal attacks that could sabotage their own success. This applies at home, too, when a disrespectful male partner might use her aggressive language as proof of hysteria, like men have been doing for generations.
They use phrases like “I won’t tolerate disrespect” or “Let’s come back to this conversation when you’re ready to be respectful” to set boundaries that aren’t just clear and concise, but assertive and firm enough to be respected.
9. They are kind when appropriate
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
Approaching conflict or disrespectful conversations with kindness can sometimes de-escalate highly stressful or emotional situations, especially in romantic relationships. High value women won't be empathetic to the point of people-pleasing or trying to soothe an ignorant person’s outburst, but they know when to offer up kindness and when to hold the line.
Considering they’re generally emotionally intelligent, these women notice energy shifts in a conversation, giving them the opportunity to choose early on in the interaction if they want to offer kindness to get ahead of frustration or walk away early. This is incredibly protective and a skill that benefits them in all areas of life, including their careers.
10. They use humor
Dragana Gordic | Shutterstock
According to a study published in the Journal of Pragmatics, humor is a powerful tool for mitigating conflict and tense conversations, and something that many high-value women rely on to shift conversations away from toxicity and redirect toward more productive topics.
When a man is being disrespectful, sometimes the best way to shut it down is to laugh it off or make a joke that either diffuses tension or makes him see what a jerk he's being. Ideally, it does both.
Of course, in situations where they feel the need to advocate for themselves and set a boundary, they’ll do so. But they’re also socially aware enough to recognize when it’s not appropriate or necessary.
11. They end their relationship with a disrespectful man
ShotPrime Studio | Shutterstock
While it may be tempting to immediately cut men out of your life the moment they do something that seems disrespectful, that isn't always the best choice when it's someone who has earned your trust otherwise. Everyone has bad days, after all.
But a high-value woman who faces consistent disrespect has no guilt about ending that toxic relationship when it’s time. She knows she deserves better, and if a man is cruel or unkind time after time, she knows it's time for him to go.
As physician and mental health writer Kristen Fuller argues, a woman who’s capable of ending a relationship and sticking to that decision even when they’re lonely or upset is the hallmark of a truly secure and healthy person. Is it easy? Absolutely not. But high value women know they deserve better that disrespect from the men who are supposed to love them.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
