5 Hard-To-Hear Reasons You're Still Single

Why you can't seem to find love.

Last updated on Jun 19, 2024

Single Woman sitting in lone chair Edward Smith | Canva

You've read all the magazines and the top dating tips, but at the end of the day, you haven't found the answers to why you're still single. All you're friends have been in loving and supporting relationships for years. You start to get scared that there's something wrong with you, that you'll be alone possibly forever. After years of coaching clients and running a dating service, I've found five reasons why you're stuck being single.


Here are 5 reasons you're still single:

1. Your love life is not your top priority

You think about dating here and there, but you are not going out on dates regularly. You spend time thinking about work, and going to the gym, you say you're busy, but you're not prioritizing this part of your life. If you met an amazing guy today you would spend hours, maybe even days with him so why not put some of this time into finding him?

RELATED: 3 Hideously Toxic Lies You Tell Yourself About Why You're Single

2. You don't believe you deserve to give and receive love

You think the only people who deserve love have already found it. You think to yourself, "Oh, she's so pretty and nice she deserves a great guy." But so do you! You just have to believe it and know what you have to offer. There is someone out there looking for the exact qualities you have, you just don't know how to show them off.


you deserve someone who’s gonna treat you right the first time. no questions asked.

♬ original sound - caileneasely

RELATED: 10 Biggest Mistakes Women Make When Looking For Love

3. You're looking for qualities in a man instead of qualities of the relationship

Stop making a never-ending list of qualities to look for in a guy. No one person is going to check all of the boxes you have for the perfect partner, it's impossible and will have you holding every man you date to impossible standards. Standards that he will inevitably fall short of. What's important is the relationship. Think of what you want in a relationship or with your partner, not just the qualities of that person.

4. You have the wrong expectations

You've created a picture in your mind of what dating "should be." Maybe you thought this was productive, like goal setting, but really you're only limiting yourself to what is out there. You are setting yourself up for disappointment by creating these expectations in the first place.


RELATED: The Tiny Thing You Do That Makes Finding Love Impossible

5. You aren't setting yourself up for the best possible relationship

Get out there! If you like an athletic guy, go to the gym; if you like a guy who reads, join a book club. Knowing who you're looking for is crucial for changing this. Finding the right guy is more important than just meeting anyone. Knowing why you're single is the first step to changing your love life. You're ready to make a change. 

RELATED: 10 Real Reasons You're Single You Need To Admit To Yourself


Anna Karimo is an International Relationship expert as well as a dating coach, motivational speaker, and prolific author.